Do Not Respond - Just Take It

As always, credit where it's due to Mollie Erickson who invented DNR - JTI on her much funnier blog, found here. 

You've seen Jimmy Fallon's Thank You Notes, you've seen riffs on Thank You Notes, but today, please enjoy one of my favorite concepts: "Do Not Respond - Just Take It."

This was invented by Mollie Erickson, a smart and fabulous woman I know, and every time I read DNR - JTI's on her own blog, it makes me giggle and makes me think. 

The concept? Here are some thoughts. I don't want a response, but want to be able to say out loud. Wouldn't that be nice? 

Dear Bump on my Chin, 
I have been patient with you. I have not been violent with you. And now, it's time for you to go away. If you don't, I will be forced to take drastic measures and YOU DON'T WANNA GO THERE. DNR - JTI. 

Dear People who Complain about "the January Crowd" at their Gyms,
Remember when you were trying something for the first time that you felt vulnerable about, and no one complained or made fun of you? Right. Let's try to extend that grace to these sweet folks. Sorry you have to share your leg press machine. Maybe offer a word of encouragement instead of sneering and Snapchatting someone who can't use it very well. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Friends who Know More about Politics Than Me,
Thank you for your patience and your wisdom. I love learning from you and hearing the great thoughts in your brains. I regularly plagiarize you and sometimes don't give you credit, but you probably knew that already. You are wonderful and brilliant. DNR - JTI.

Dear Friends who Know Less about Politics Than I Do,
Thanks for making me feel like a genius. I'm just plagiarizing my friends who know more than me. I should just link you guys up. But I won't, because I'm selfish. DNR - JTI.

Dear Bears who Live in My Backyard,
I'm so fascinated by you and I'm kind of scared of you. Please stop slashing my garbage can to get to our delicious, rotting leftovers. I know I'm not supposed to, but I'll leave a to-go box after every meal by the back door if you'll just cut it out with the trash can. ...seriously. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Laundry, 
You are the WORST. I would rather clean toilets than do you. You are the multi-step chore from HELL. It's not enough to take clean the clothes to the washing machine. NOOOO. Now I have to move them to another appliance. Then I have to make sure I'm around when they're finished drying so the clothes won't wrinkle. THEN I have to fold them perfectly. THEN I have to put them away?! Are you kidding?? That's like 40 steps for one chore. This is why clean clothes sit in a basket in my room for a week, because you have EXHAUSTED ME, Laundry. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Mary Catherine,
Remember the first house you and Jordan lived in where you didn't have a washer and dryer? And how you had to take your laundry to your parents' house? And how you said once you had one of your own that you'd never complain about laundry again? Yeah. So, shut up. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Girl in her Twenties Who's Toying Around with Pursuing Her Dream,
You need to get after it. Life isn't that long and WHAT POSSIBLE THING is stopping you?? Make a goal. Work toward it. Stop piddling around on the Internet or dreaming about it. Just do it. You are the best and I believe in you, and I bet everyone else does, too. DNR - JTI. 

 

5 Things: Kitchen Tool Roundup

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. 

RIP, Rebecca Black's career. 

I've been cooking a LOT lately - like all three meals at home for the last two weeks straight. Being snowed in doesn't make for easy restaurant access! But, you know, snow - so definitely worth it. 

I thought I'd share the utensils that I find myself reaching for over and over. This is not about featuring the "nicest" tools in my kitchen; rather, these are absolutely the most useful things I have in my kitchen. Not pictured: my Ove Glove. Which I actually use every day. So just pretend that's in there. 

1. Stick Blender. 
My trusty stick blender comes in handy when I need to blend batter, crush tomatoes, whip egg whites into meringues, or make the world's fluffiest scrambled eggs. It's way more convenient than lugging my large blender from its storage space underneath the counter, and it's dishwasher-safe, so the cleanup is so easy. You can buy this one here! 

2. Single-Serve French Press.
I had never used a French press until we received one as a wedding gift, but it completely changed the way I drink coffee. French press coffee is so intensely flavorful. It requires no electricity - nothing but hot water and fresh grounds - and you will seriously never go back. This is perfect for mornings when I only want a cup, and would also be the ideal size to travel with or take to work. You'd never have to depend on someone to make another pot again. At $25, this is a steal. Buy it on Amazon here! 

3. Biscuit Cutters in Assorted Sizes. 
These bad boys are used a LOT in my house. For biscuits (obviously), but also for cutting consistently shaped cookies out of dough, cutting circles out of bread for eggs in a basket - I love that these guys nest into each other for easy, aesthetic storage, and allow me to make pretty desserts that are all the same size. Found them online here. 

4. Miniature Glass Bowls. 
Oh. My. Gosh. I love these bowls so much. These were literally #1 on my Christmas list this year. I use them to portion out ingredients before I start cooking or baking, to carry peanut butter in if I'm snacking on the go, to serve nuts on a cheese plate, for yogurt every morning - the list goes on and on. I have four bowls and four plastic lids, but I could have 50 and still find ways to use them all. Impossible to convey the value of these guys. This link has a version that's pretty close to mine - and on Amazon Prime, no less! Buy them. You will not be sorry. 

5. Stainless Scoop and Cutter
Saved the best for last. Don't you hate it when you're chopping vegetables and you try to transfer them to your pan by balancing them on your knife, but they end up all over the floor? Worry. No. More. This tool is the ultimate in convenience for transferring any foods from one surface to another, for chopping those last few veggies you may have missed, and for tossing in the dishwasher when you're finished.

I got this tool in my stocking from my grandmother Nonnie a few years ago, and use it every single time I cook. It is my best friend in the kitchen. Buy one for $7 on Amazon here - I guarantee you, it'll be the best $6 you've spent in a long time. If you buy one and are disappointed, I'll buy you lunch. 

Happy cooking! Have a great weekend, friends. See you Monday! 

Think Before You Sexism.

I woke up this morning to an article on Vox about how there has been a spike in Twitter harassment of Megyn Kelly, one of Fox News' lead anchors and a moderator of the upcoming GOP debate. Editor's note: There is some language in both the Vox piece and in my own below.  

It got my wheels turning (again) about the way that we speak about candidates or public figures who are women. 

But first, a confession. 

When I was younger (like middle school aged), I was very opinionated. Shocking, I know! And one of the opinions that I liked to tout around was that "Women should never be elected president because they're too emotional to lead a country. What if they had to make a big decision and just started crying or something??" 

Right. 

So, in the spirit of "We're all learning as we go, including me, and here are some things to consider delivered from a place of humility and respect for your opinion," here we go. 

1. ACCIDENTAL SEXISM

It is SO easy to have some biases and prejudices that lie dormant until they're triggered. Then, suddenly, you have no idea where this vitriol came from!

Ex. Someone is watching the debates, and hears that Hillary Clinton took a bathroom break. "That is just like a woman," they might say. "Typical. I bet she took a pack of her girlfriends with her, didn't she?" 

It turns out that all three candidates used the restroom during the commercial break. But why did that stir up angry feelings? Probably because somewhere deep inside us, we have some prejudices against women in leadership. And they come from years of seeing men in leadership. 

I myself am very guilty of unconsciously trusting and putting more stock into the voices of men on NPR than the voices of women. This is something I'm actively working on. It comes from years of seeing mostly men in leadership positions, and being mentally trained to expect that a man's opinion holds more water than a woman's, simply because he's male. 

2. SEXISM ON PURPOSE

Of course, there's also the kind of hate that flies out of our mouths and into the world. We all say things we wish we hadn't, but unless we peel back the layers of why we said them, they're going to keep getting said. 

Ex: "Megyn Kelly is kind of bitchy, right? She's just not likable. Her face is always all pinched up. Just relax, girl! She's always so shrill and so angry." 

OR

"Hillary Clinton can't run a country. She can't even run her marriage! How am I supposed to trust someone with her finger on the button who hasn't been able to keep her own husband in line?" 

I sought the opinion of a really smart friend of mine, Katie Glenn, who said: 

"My barometer is nearly always: 'Is this terminology you ever hear used or brought up in reference to a man? If you can't think of a time or place that someone would say the same thing about a male candidate, it's probably sexist. Coded bigotry is everywhere. It doesn't have to be straight up saying, 'She's stupid because she's a woman.'"

This is such an easy trap! Don't let it happen to you! 

Of course, many of us talk about male candidate's temperaments and qualifications, but few of us discuss what male candidates are wearing, whether we like their haircut, their spouse's past sexual indiscretions, or the timber of their voice. 

Katie's thoughts are a solid jumping off point: if you find yourself on the verge of a criticism about a female candidate or public figure, think: "Is this something I would say about a man? Is there a version of this that is already said about men?" If the answer is no, maybe think twice before saying it. And if it's particularly nasty, just skip it altogether. Because: 

3. EVERYDAY SEXISM

As I was saying: 

Because if you are a living, breathing person (particularly a living, breathing male), you know a woman personally who has experienced sexism. In fact, you may share a home with her! 

Any woman - not just political candidates or famous people - who has worked in a professional environment has run up against sexism at one point or another. 

We've sat in meetings and been told that we're pretty, but not taken very seriously. We've been passed over for projects in favor of a male colleague when we were the more qualified person for the job. We've been belittled and "head patted" and "Aren't you adorable'd?" We've been overlooked because we're too "plain," or we "don't put enough effort" into our appearance. People have assumed that we'll go along with anything because if we're women, we also must want to avoid the stress that comes with a dissenting opinion. And we've certainly been objectified in the workplace. 

It's very frustrating. And it happens when people don't take the time to Stop, Look, and Listen to their own inner monologue. 

Now here's the part where I say that I'm a straight, white, upper/middle class woman who is speaking about experiencing sexism from a place of privilege, and that I am aware that there are women of color and across the LGBT spectrum who experience sexism in a very different (and often much more intense and limiting) way. 

 

The bottom line is, we have to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. If nothing else, these three rules are key to not saying anything offensive while we're working on excavating our latent prejudice: 

  1. Is it kind?
  2. Is it true? 
  3. Is it necessary? 

Because you can fall anywhere on the political spectrum and still be a person of integrity on this issue. Because being a feminist doesn't have anything to do with being angry or hateful. Because the smartest people are the ones whose opinions are well-researched and kindly spoken. Because being nice is a perfect starting point, but digging deep into our hearts to find the dusty corners of uncomfortable bias that we didn't even know we were carrying?

THAT is where change happens.

Big Giant (Very Healthy) Breakfast

MONKEY SALAD!

Now I have you hooked. Stay tuned to see what that is. 

I tend to align myself with Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope of Parks and Rec, who said: 

I am one of those people who loves to eat right when I wake up, and if I don't, I am a scary person. If I haven't eaten a protein-filled breakfast, I find myself starving by 10 AM. Jordan calls me the bottomless pit because I am hungry so many times a day. I think it's a blood sugar thing. Where my girls at? I know y'all are with me on this. 

Some people are not big "first-thing-in-the-morning" breakfast people. While I could eat my body weight in breakfast IMMEDIATELY upon waking up, Jordan is totally nauseated by the thought of eating tons of food first thing. 

Different strokes. 

So, although this breakfast is incredibly filling and delicious, like a Waffle House meal, it's also extremely well-balanced and healthy. It also works at any time of the morning - first thing, or as a brunch (and it's big enough that if you're a morning eater, it's worth the wait to cook and will do the trick to fill you up).  

I present to you: the Big Giant Healthy Breakfast, guaranteed to keep the people in your house full and happy all morning long, and maybe through lunch. 

Best part? It contains things I bet you already have in your kitchen. Walk with me. 

Yields: Breakfast for two. (Just multiply the recipe to feed more!) 

Ingredients: 
4 eggs (however many you want) 
1 potato
Almonds, cashews, or whatever nuts you have on hand
1 banana
Coconut shavings
Plain vanilla yogurt (omit the yogurt for a W30 version)
Assorted fruit (berries, pineapple, grapes - again, whatever you have)
Olive oil
Butter (or ghee)
Salt and pepper to taste
Rosemary 

1. Chop your potato into breakfast potato-sized chunks. Toss them onto a Silpat (or other non-stick baking surface).

2. Drizzle them in about 2 T of olive oil and turn them to coat completely.

3. Pop them into the oven on a high broil setting for about 7-9 minutes. Don't worry about seasoning yet - just let those bad boys cook for a bit.

4. While your potatoes are cooking, grab a skillet and melt enough butter just to coat the bottom of the pan. 

5. In a smaller bowl, whisk your eggs (yolks and whites) together, incorporating enough air so that you see bubbles after you've stopped whisking. 

6. Pour the whisked eggs into your buttered skillet over LOW HEAT, season with salt and pepper, and stir with a wooden spoon or non-stick spatula. The key to good scrambled eggs is no added dairy (I know, I know, but read this article) and cooking them low and slow. Takes a little longer, but SO worth it. 

7. Check on your potatoes. They should be singing in the oven and starting to get and golden brown. Pull out the baking sheet, season your potatoes with salt and rosemary to taste (don't overdo the rosemary - less is more). Toss to coat, then return your 'taters to the oven to finish cooking for another 5-7 minutes or so. 

8. At this point, your eggs should be done cooking. Remove them from heat and their skillet in order to stop the cooking process. Overcooked scrambled eggs are not terribly appetizing. 

9. These next steps are the easiest! Dollop some vanilla yogurt into small cups, top with fruit. Bada-bing-bada-boom. 

Tip: Every week, I buy fruit at the grocery store. Right when I get home, I wash, cut, and store all the fruit together in a bowl in my fridge. Having it ready to serve makes putting it over yogurt, snacking, and having some fruit for dessert a snap. Convenience is key in the kitchen!

9. Your 'taters should be deliciously golden brown by now. Pull them out of the oven and serve them up next to your gorgeous eggs. 

YUM.

10. Now, for the monkey salad! I wasn't kidding, this is real. Cut up a banana, toss some nuts (of your choice - I prefer cashews, Jordan prefers almonds) and coconut shavings into a small bowl, stir, and WHAM - a salad fit for a monkey's appetite - and yours. This also makes a killer snack for when your Whole 30 hunger rage kicks in. 

Now put all this deliciousness on a plate and enjoy! As the Barefoot Contessa would say, "How easy is that?"