Oscar Gowns: Fetch or Wretch?

February 29, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

The year I lived in Memphis, my friend Andy and I devised a ratings system called "Fetch or Wretch?" "Fetch," obviously, was derived from the classic film Mean Girls, and is the highest of compliments in the world of fashion. "Wretch," on the other hand, I think is pretty self-explanatory.

That year at the Oscar party we went to, he and I dressed up as glorified Joan Rivers clones and interviewed/judged all the celebs on a makeshift red carpet:

Obviously, we were very fetch (but also intentionally tacky, just like Joan.)

Being that I love fashion and that I love awards shows, I thought I'd run down my list for Fetch or Wretch: Oscars 2016.

Let's start with the good, in no particular order.

FETCH: SAOIRSE RONAN.

Saoirse (I had to attempt that spelling about 4 times) was nominated for Best Actress alongside some real heavy hitters last night for Brooklyn, where she plays an Irish immigrant to America. This dress is the epitome of right gown, right wearer, and right venue. And, as a little nod to her Irish role in the film, it's emerald green. My only tiny gripe here is that the skirt is sheer, which I'm sick to death of. But otherwise, perfectly fitted, perfectly styled, and if you look at any close-ups of her face, her makeup is FLAWLESS.

2. FETCH: LADY GAGA.

Say what you will about the meat-dress-wearing, arriving-in-an-egg pop star, but she knows how to nail it when it counts. I think this partnership with Tony Bennett has done her some good in terms of knowing when to class it up. Her hair and jewelry choices are exactly right. The fit on the bodice is not my favorite (in fact, in almost every photo but this one, it's downright awful) and it's doing weird things for her boobs. Overall, the look is striking and classic, but still different enough to be quintessentially Gaga. And we all know I love a jumpsuit.

...doesn't hurt that her man candy is in a perfectly fitting tux, himself.

3. ROONEY MARA.

I realize this one will be widely disputed. I am not in love with her weird topknot, but I think this is such a perfect look for her. Rooney Mara always goes for severe ice-princess on the red carpet, and she usually nails it. This dress, though not something I would wear, is the definition of Rooney Mara at an awards show - and because it's perfectly fitted and styled well (for her particular aesthetic), I love it.

4. CATE BLANCHETT.

I know, I know. Another controversial pick. But y'all, LOOK AT THE FIT OF THIS DRESS. Cate Blanchett is such a queen when it comes to style and posing on a red carpet, and this is just another entry in her reign of fabulousness. Though the details on this dress kind of grate on my nerves (like a hundred butterflies just landed on her simultaneously?), the color is lovely, the neckline is plunging without being vulgar, her head looks great, and the fit is literally flawless. As with most things, a little confidence in something unusual goes a long way.

5. NAOMI WATTS.

Miss Naomi was not up for any major awards, but she still brought the thunder without being too attention-seeking. The color, the beading, the fit, and the styling are all near-perfect in this look. She managed to nail it without taking attention away from award nominees, which is an art form all unto itself.

Honorable mention: Chrissy Teigan, who SLAYED us with her fabulous pregnant self. But she couldn't make my list because I am so sick to death of this naked dress trend WHEN WILL IT END.

Now, let's get to the struggle bus.

WRETCH.

1. Kate Winslet.

GIRL. What. Are you doing. This looks like the Titanic sank, you got up on that door, pulled a seal out of the ocean, clubbed it to death, skinned it, and wore it last night. Almost everything about this is bad, from the straight neckline to the fit to the scuba-suit weirdness to the loose and beachy hair when it should've been up. The skirt is puddling. The accessories are bad. I really can't say enough. It was a swing and a miss. But we love you, Kate. Do better next time.

2. BRIE LARSON.

Another choice that I know will be controversial. All I can see when I look at that party-streamer skirt is Paris Hilton circa 2002. The half-back hair looks far too casual (Jordan says when women wear their hair half-back it looks like Legolas) and needed more height, the belt is huge and clunky...I really was disappointed by this look, especially since she was picked to (and did) win. I'll give her some credit for fit - the bodice is beautifully tailored to her and the color is right, but the skirt and the details of the look overall make her a WRETCH. I genuinely feel like people are loving this look purely because she is absolutely glowing with happiness and it's distorting their judgment. Congrats on your win, Brie. Now send that dress back to the early 2000's where it belongs.

3. OLIVIA WILDE.

"Woof." That was me out loud when I saw this gown for the first time. At a quick glance, this isn't terribly offensive - a light colored, well-fitted gown. But the longer you look at it, the more problematic it becomes. While Cate Blanchett did a plunging neckline without being vulgar, this is a neckline that tipped the vulgar scales all the way over. Put simply, it's just too much cleavage. Olivia Wilde has lots of very square features, namely that fabulous jawline, but that means that whatever she chooses to wear doesn't need to further accentuate the squareness of her face. This neckline is rectangular, her choker cuts her neck in half and creates more squareness, and her hair is pulled all the way back, making her head a (you guessed it) square. She needed to soften this gown up - hair down, no choker, and this might have been a win.

4. JENNIFER LAWRENCE.

I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. SHEER. LACE.

I can't wait for this freaking trend to die. I know J Law has a contractual obligation to wear Dior, this look aged her about 20 years. It is SO deeply matronly while still somehow being super-sexual. I hate the tiered skirt, I hate the skin-toned underlay that makes her look naked, I hate the visible black boning in the bodice, I hate everything. Good for her for the hair color and the lack of sparkly accessories (which would've pushed this from just plain bad to stripper), but this is a HARD miss for me. Wretch. 100%.

5. RACHEL MCADAMS.

Dear Rachel McAdams,

Every girl in America wants to be you. You have a face like a damn painting. Your hair is like gold spun by woodland creatures. You are an American ideal. But if you think that in all of fashion-world, in all the design houses, that this was the right gown for you, then fire your stylist. The color is great, but that's about it. If you're going to wear something loose-fitting and body-skimming, the fit better be absolutely perfect. And perfect it is not.

And if you can't afford a steamer, you can borrow mine, Rachel. Those wrinkles from sitting down in the limo on the way there are half of why you are decidedly WRETCH.

See you tomorrow for Bach-capping, ladies and germs. Get ready for SEX ISLAND.

Meat.

February 25, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

Normally on this blog, I do my best to talk about things I think will be universally interesting or agreeable. This, though, I know will put me in the squarely in the Southern minority. I just watched a docuseries on Netflix (Episode 1 of "Cooked") and it inspired me to come clean about a couple of opinions. So I'll lead by saying:

I'm Mary Catherine ("Hi, Mary Catherine"), and I'm almost a vegetarian.

"Mary Catherine, did you move to Asheville and become a hemp-wearing, vegetarian weirdo?"

Nope. (Well, the weirdo part is questionable, but that's always been the case.)

Let me start at the beginning.

I have never been a huge meat-eater. From an early age, I gravitated toward complex carbs (haaaay mashed potatoes/mac and cheese/biscuits/chips/etc.!) way more often than the protein on a plate.

I think some of this was textural, some conditioned, and some of my own neuroses.

Meat has never been a particularly appealing texture to me. I loved McDonald's cheeseburgers and ground beef - otherwise known as "meat that doesn't resemble meat anymore."

For school lunches, a pretty sugary sandwich was usually featured as as the main event. Jordan likes to rib me that I grew up on "sugar and butter sandwiches," and the truth is not far off. I ate my first sandwich that included meat in high school (thanks, Subway!), and I remember it vividly. Meatball sub. Delicious, in case you were wondering.

My own weirdness came into play when my mom got back from a trip to Israel when I was in elementary school. She described some of the streets they walked being lined with beef and chicken hanging in the street, covered in flies and (sorry to be gross) dripping blood into the gutters. I remember where I was sitting at the table when she said that, and it's strange now to recall that that moment was so significant. That freaked. Me. OUT.

After I heard that story, I remember being at friend's houses whose parents were cooking out, and trying my best to be polite and eat the burgers (because #manners and #theSouth). But with every bite, I was thinking, "I'meatingananimalI'meatingananimalI'meatingananimal," to the point that I'd psych myself out enough that the meal was over. I remember one particularly grueling experience when a friend's precious grandfather served filet mignon cooked rare. I ate every single bite of that steak because I loved and respected this man so deeply. And then I wanted to die.

All this to say, I've always had an interesting relationship with meat.

It's only been since I got Tom Hanks, who I joke ruined my life on this count, that I started to worry about the ethical component of meat-eating.

I didn't grow up with pets, so having this dog has changed my heart completely when it comes to animals and the quality of their lives. Growing up, I didn't wish animals ill-will, of course - but I certainly wasn't terribly worried about their welfare. My aversion to eating meat was for all the reasons I listed above: the gross-out factor. But now, when I think about my dog having anything less than the spoiled rotten life that he has, it breaks my heart. When consider that other animals do live those lives, it's very difficult to sith with for too long without getting emotional.

In America, we consume more meat than most other countries on earth. We've learned, thankfully, to eat a bit less red meat in recent years (I say "thankfully" because of the health risks associated with too much red meat), but we still eat more than most. Think back on your week - how many meals contained a meat component? 5? 10? More? It's not unusual here. We are wired to expect the protein in our meals to come from a meat product.

And that in itself? Not a bad thing! But this is what I want to talk about:

Where our meat comes from is really important.

This is a mantle I've taken up recently and something that I feel pretty passionate about, given my life-ruining dog's hold on my emotional state.

This next paragraph is upsetting, just in case you want to skip it!

The majority of livestock in America is raised in pens or slaughterhouses that have conditions so poor you wouldn't even dispose of your waste there. Cows are often kept in pens that are too small, and corn-fed until they are shot between the eyes to be rendered braindead before they're bled to death. Chickens are overfed to a weight that can break their legs, but they still live (smashed against other chickens) until they're butchered. Pigs are raised in tiny crates and sows forced to breed over and over - the piglets still have an instinct to nurse, so they suck on each other's tails and get infections to the point that their tails are cut off.

YIKES, PEOPLE.

It's hard to even write about that. It's certainly hard to think about.

And therein lies the rub: As a culture, we don't like to think about where our meat comes from. We don't like to consider that what's on our plates had a terrible, short life that was full of unpleasantness and suffering.

But why don't we want to stop to consider it? I have a suggestion that might make you mad at me:

It's because we know deep down that if we considered it long enough, we'd be forced to change our choices.

I think that, given the information and the opportunity to think it through, most of us would feel pretty rotten about the idea of tacitly participating in an industry that treats animals so poorly. Nobody thinks to themselves, "YES! Yes, please. Take my money, slaughterhouse. I love how you do business. You guys rock."

But changing our choices takes a lot of extra work that we don't want to do. We'd be forced to reconcile our conscience and our actions, and we don't want to do that.

Let me clear some things up about where I'm coming from:

Do I think we should all be vegetarians, or that vegetarianism is the only way to be a morally sound person? No.

Do I think we should all start to care more about where our meat comes from? Yes.

Do I think that all animals have the same level of intelligence as my dog? No.

Do I think that all life is equally sacred and should be treated as such? Yes.

One of the things that Jordan says often is that we're stewards of this planet, not commanders. We weren't "given dominion" over the Earth to mistreat its creatures. If we want to be meat-eaters, and I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with that, then we have to be responsible about the kinds of meat that we choose to buy: how it was raised, and how it was killed.

For now, I'm not in a period in my life where I want to consume lots of meat. But I know life is seasonal, and I know that if/whenever I do want to eat more meat, I'll only buy it from farms and from folks I can trust. The farmers who say their animals have "one bad day," but otherwise, lead happy lives.

So let's eat meat if we want! But let's invest in a product that was raised on a farm, and came from farmers and butchers who respect and value the animal's quality of life. Or, hunt, kill, and dress the animals yourself! I'm down with that, too. Because the truth is, animals who were lived in natural conditions are just better for you. They taste better. They are healthier. And best of all, those animals were happier.

I think it's the least we can do. Because living things deserve dignity.

And every pig's biggest problem should be that there's a baby goat jumping on its back.

If you're interested in this subject and want to learn more about responsible meat-eating, watch: Forks Over Knives (streaming on Netflix); Food, Inc. (available to rent on Netflix); or episode one, Fire, of "Cooked" (a Netflix original series).

DNR - JTI: Other People's Submissions

February 24, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

As usual, credit for this idea goes to the fab Mollie Erickson.

Last night, one of my best friends sent me a message with a Do Not Respond - Just Take It from her day, which inspired me to solicit them from my family and whoever was at the top of my text message pile.

The results were pretty entertaining. We'll start with the one that inspired them all.

From Ginny Tyler Meadows:

Dear Lady at Belk in the pantyhose section,
Thank you for keeping me from buying the ankle-bunching hose you claimed would embarrass my grandmother at church on Sunday. My budget of as close to $10 as possible seemed tricky, but you understand that my struggle is real. Your teaching me how to test the multitude of hose colors by sticking my hand in the samples kept me from looking like I was having a race identity problem as I interview for pharmacy residencies. I appreciate hearing about your niece who may be in college somewhere in Alabama studying something like pharmacy, but I really do need to be going. Yes, I am pretending not to hear you asking about my potential salary and why I'm not working for CVS. Hopefully, I will not rip these and have to come back. DNR - JTI.

From April McAnnally:

Dear Joanna Gaines,
I know you love your family ('cause who wouldn't - they are precious) and you think Chip is darling ('cause he is) and you are living your dream on HGTV, but seriously. Now you have a furniture line, custom paint colors, a Magnolia Store, and a book coming out. You also have perfectly shiny hair cascading down your back at all times. Could ya just slow down? You're making the rest of us feel bad. DNR - JTI.

From Katie Glenn:

Dear People who Talk About Millennials and How Terrible We Are,
Literally every generation ever has always thought the subsequent generations were shit. Even Socrates talked about the generation following his. You're exhausting us and your points are generally terrible. DNR - JTI.

From Parker McAnnally:

Dear Birds Outside My House at 3 AM,
Please stop yelling. That streetlight is not the sun. I will shake you out of your tree if you continue in your ways. We can peacefully coexist, but not if you sing me your song in the middle of the night. I'll see you in the morning when it's time for you to be loud. DNR - JTI.

From Sid McAnnally:

Dear Lady Grantham,
I love my wife, and to prove it, I've worn my teeth down through years of your cow-eyed, stage whispered, "Oh, Robert's" and "Poor Edith's." Enough. Please accept my goodbye in advance of your March departure. DNR - JTI.

From Victoria Harr:

Dear Backseat Drivers,
No, I do not want to know 42 facts about hydroplaning, the impact high beams have on traffic signs, and the exact speed I should go when there are emergency personnel on the shoulder. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Quietly. DNR - JTI.

A couple of my own:

Dear Misting Spray in the Produce Section,
I love everything about you. I love when the thunder sound comes on to warn us that the mist is imminent. Other shoppers may decide to come back later, but I will always stick around. I love watching that water spray float through the air and onto my vegetables, giving them the air of "fresh from the farm." It feels like a ride at Disney World that I didn't even have to pay for. I think you're magical. Don't ever change. DNR - JTI.

Dear Approx. 10-year-old Boy in Said Produce Section Loudly Singing the Praises of Spinach,
I find you to be totally charming. The way your regular t-shirt completely overwhelms your skinny frame is completely endearing. I overheard you say that you "have a hard time with iceberg lettuce," and I get that. Spinach is much easier to eat. Also, thank you for loudly explaining to your mom that grocery stores often try to rip us off by placing the higher-priced items at eye-level. I hope that you always stay this delightfully nerdy, and that no one makes you feel like you should be anything else. You're my new favorite part of the grocery, even over the produce misters. DNR - JTI.

...and one more from my sweet dad:

Dear Mary Catherine's Readers,
Can you believe this? Bachelor in one breath, insightful spiritual observation the next? In one person? I've been watching it for 27 years and I still don't have it figured out. And you should meet her mother. And brother. It took me too long to realize, the best play is: DNR - JTI.

5 Things: Beauty Products I Can't Live Without.

February 19, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

Good morning!

Hope everyone is gearing up for a relaxing/fun/exciting weekend. My brother and his girlfriend, Emily, are coming to visit us this weekend (!!!!) and we are basically exploding with joy a la Kermit the frog:

My favorite GIF of all time, in case anyone was keeping track.

This is certainly not a beauty or fashion blog, but I do happen to love both fashion and beauty products. That being the case, I thought I'd share some products that I routinely use - some tried and true, some new to me - but all of which I can't live without these days.

Walk with me.

1. Micellar water.

I've been using this product for almost a year now, and I can't believe how much I love it. Micellar water is used in place of a face wash. Inspired by French women (who are famous for their beautiful skin), micellar water cleanses your skin without stripping it. In fact (and this is the part that always makes my friends say, "What?!"), there's actually no water involved at all. You add this magical potion to a cotton round, swipe it all over your face to remove makeup (sometimes two are necessary if it's a particularly heavy makeup day), and your skin is smooth, clean, and cared for without the slog of splashing water all over yourself twice a day.

The magic of this product is in the micelles, which are simply molecules of oil in otherwise pure water, are attracted to the impurities on your face (dirt, makeup, etc.). They cling to and remove what you don't want on your skin, leaving behind a really moisturized and even tone.

If you're skeptical about this product, let me challenge you with this: remove all of your makeup and wash your face with a traditional cleanser. Then, use micellar water on a cotton round and swipe it over your face. You will be shocked at how much dirt and makeup has been left behind.

To read a little more about it, visit this link. After a year, my skin has never looked better or been more dewey and clean. Give it a shot.

2. Moisturizer.

I'm sure that everyone has their own favorite moisturizer, and this is mine. The smell always reminds me of watching my mom get ready in the mornings - makes me happy!

What I love about Oil of Olay is that their products are super gentle on my skin, and that this one includes an SPF to protect against fine lines and wrinkles.

If you don't use a moisturizer with SPF in it every day, watch this video and prepare to never leave the house without sunscreen again.

Long ago, I realized I'd never be blessed with a dark complexion. Jordan calls me "queso skin," because he thinks my extremely fair and easily scarred skin looks like the layer of skin on top of cheese dip at a Mexican restaurant. Because you can see my veins.

...cute, right? ; )

More than anything, what I've adopted since college is a regimented moisturizing routine that includes my face, neck, decolletage, and hands. Everything I've read about skincare regrets older women have lists that their hands were neglected from sun protection, so while their faces are supple and young-looking, their hands are leathery and wrinkled.

Don't forget the hands, you guys.

3. Spot treatment.

So, I'm finding it a little vulgar to talk about blemishes, but this is such a miracle product that I'm pushing past my discomfort with this subject.

I am lucky to have "normal" (not oily, not dry), fairly even skin, but sometimes everyone get a blemish. Recently, I had a particularly stubborn cystic bump that would not. Go. Away.

I researched every method on the Internet for getting rid of it - toothpaste, ice, you name it - and finally bit the bullet to buy this rather expensive (for its size) magic bottle.

Y'all, when I tell you that bump was gone in almost 24 hours, I tell you no lies.

The redness and soreness of any blemishes you may find yourself with, whether they're cystic or not, are immediately reduced by this formula. If you put it on before you go to bed, by the time you wake up, you'll see a difference.

I recently recommended this admittedly pricier product to a girlfriend of mine who is known for her thriftiness. She bought it, and now she swears by it. Even if you don't have a bump today, you know you will at some point - why not be proactive and make sure you have something with which to treat it? I'm telling you - miraculous.

4. Brow gel.

Anyone who knows me well knows that for years, I've been saying that "eyebrows make or break a face." Now, the entire world has caught on to my thinking - thanks, Kardashians, for making brows a thing people are universally obsessed with! Hehe.

On days when I'm in a hurry, I use under-eye concealer, a little mascara, this brow gel, and leave. Having neat, shapely brows makes my face look put together, even when I barely have makeup on.

This product is technically a clear mascara, but I use it as a brow gel and it works just as well. After filling in your brows, it's a great way to get them to keep their shape all day long.

Confession: before purchasing this product a few months ago, I would use a comb and hairspray to get my brows to stay in place all day. Classy, huh?

Okay, ignore the tacky selfie and ignore that I cut my face off - I took this to show how well this product works, but I look 100% cross-eyed in this picture, so...the rest of my face had to go.

I actually haven't had my brows done in months (because I'm lazy) and so this picture features them as grown out as they get, but filled in and styled with my brow gel.

The point is, brow gel covers all manner of sins.

5. Hair powder.

Shoutout to all my Southern girls - the higher the hair, the closer to God, amirite??

I have come to call this product "hair velcro." It is an absolutely unreal little powder that, when sprinkled on your scalp, gives you volume and texture that locks in freakin' place for hours and hours. You can lightly tease your hair and sprinkle this on to hold the shape, or use only the powder for nearly the same results.

I have lots of very fine hair, so getting it to hold a style has always been a challenge. This sweet little power is the antidote to having to carry around a teasing comb (because I do) in my purse for the moments when my hair falls flat as a board.

Okay, friends - now I'm inspired to go take a shower and get super-glam! But in reality, I'm going to put on workout clothes and clean the bathroom floor. Such is life.

Happy weekend!

DNR - JTI: Pop Culture Edition.

February 18, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

If you've been following the blog for a few weeks now, you read this post where I explain the concept of "Do Not Respond - Just Take It." If you haven't been following the blog, I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out anyway.

There's been so much in the pop culture world this past week that I need to rant about.

As always, all credit is due the brilliant Mollie Erickson whose idea I am shamelessly hijacking.

Dear Kanye West,
You must be how God feels about all of us. Just when God thinks it's finally safe to have faith in humanity again, we do something ridiculous and screw it up. You are not Picasso. You are not The Apostle Paul. You are not a genius. I have such unkind things to say about you, but I'll sum it up with PLEASE STOP TALKING. Every time you open your mouth, things get worse. I could cite a million examples, but it would take too long. Also, please, PLEASE stop designing clothes. We all know you're just ripping off the Derelicte campaign from Zoolander. DNR - JTI.

Dear Taylor Swift,
Honey, stop acknowledging Kanye West. Have you heard the parable of the frog and the scorpion? Mmmk, well let me sum it up for you: the frog ends up dead at the bottom of the pond pumped full of scorpion venom. I hope you've stopped giving him chances. The surest way to disappoint him and make him irrelevant is to stop acknowledging him. No one takes him seriously anyway. You're too good for that, girl. Hey, congrats on Album of the Year! DNR - JTI.

Dear Stepdad Gary From "EW!" With Jimmy Fallon,
You are one of my favorite characters ever. You make me laugh every time. But especially in this week's episode. Thanks for being so lame and so funny. Can you teach me that popcorn song? DNR - JTI.

Dear Pizza,
You have nothing to do with pop culture and everything to do with pop culture. Why do you have to be so delicious? Why do you have to be so bad for me? These are the things I contemplate while staring at the Domino's app on my phone, playing "Will I or won't I?" with myself. Every night. Can't you help me out and just disappear? If I have a spirit animal, I've always known it was Pizza Rat. DNR - JTI.

Dear People who Post Photos of Abused Animals Online,
You make me reconsider having a Facebook account. I am too emotionally unstable to deal with seeing that kind of stuff. There should be a separate Facebook called "Disgracebook" where you can post all the inflammatory, upsetting stuff you want. But please - cut me and my very tender heart a break. DNR - JTI.

Dear Leslie Jones,
My husband and I think you are hysterical. This highly inappropriate and highly hilarious speech had us both R O L L I N G on Valentine's Day when we caught up on SNL. Thanks for being the best. See you next week. DNR - JTI.

Dear Mary Catherine,
This is officially your last social media post/tweet about Kanye. I'm cutting you off. He doesn't deserve it and you have better things to do with your time than go down the Google rabbit hole of offensive or insipid things Kanye has said/done this week. Spoiler alert: there are a million. DNR - JTI, girl.

Trip to Charleston.

February 17, 2016 Mary Catherine Scott

When Jordan and I were thinking about where we wanted to go for our anniversary, we immediately thought of Charleston. Neither of us had ever been there, and since we had recently moved to Asheville, we were only four hours away!

We opted for a weekend trip because Jordan had recently started at work, so a longer weekend was out of the question at that point. We squeezed every drop we could out of the time we spent, so I thought I'd share a few pictures and recommendations for anyone planning an upcoming trip!

Friday:

Our first stop after checking into our sweet little B&B, Fulton Lane Inn, was to get some ice cream, of course! We stopped at Jeni's (my all-time favorite) and then continued walking to grab something to eat at Butcher and Bee.

...he's smiling, I swear.

We'd gotten all sorts of restaurant recommendations, so we were set when it came to meals. Between meals, though, we'd decided to just wing it! As we walked, we stumbled upon High Wire Distillery right outside of Butcher and Bee, and noticed they were giving a distillery tour in about 5 minutes.

It turned out that we were the only people there, and that the tour (of course) came with samples of the liquor that they make there. If you've ever been around me drinking, you know I have the alcohol tolerance of a mosquito, so we were feeling real good by the time we left. Hehe!

Not only did we get to drink for free (haaaaay!), but we also discovered our new favorite gin and favorite cocktail mixer, Jack Rudy Small Batch Tonic. If you're a fan of gin and tonics in the summer, buy this. I promise, you'll never look back.

We had dinner that night at F.I.G, where our sweet friend Sally's fiancé is a chef! We weren't able to get a reservation, so we expected to eat at the bar. Luckily, we walked in just as another couple was leaving a table, so we were immediately seated - total fluke, but we were really grateful!

This restaurant was beyond delicious, y'all. If you go in the summer, the tomato tarte tatin is an absolute must.

After dinner, we were totally stuffed, so we went straight to bed, only to realize we hadn't gotten anyone to take our picture that night. So we took a selfie. In our robes. Because we're classy like that.

Saturday:

We were treated to room service breakfast that morning, which gave us a chance to relax and enjoy Jordan's time off! Although both of us kept asking, "Where's Tom Hanks?"

...do any of you dog people constantly think your dog is in the room when you travel, even though they're at home? It's like a phantom limb. Weird.

After breakfast, we wanted to explore the city on foot and eventually end up at the bowery. The houses and yards in this part of Charleston are absolutely stunning. We loved getting to explore - but people: COMFORTABLE. SHOES. Don't be like me and wear sandals you haven't broken in yet. #yourarereallydumb #forreal

You'll notice I snuck a little snack in there. Somehow Jordan doesn't need to be fed but once a day. I need to be fed...five times a day. Men are weird.

You'll also notice that I'm pretty much outfit repeating. That's because I packed jeans and a couple of heavier tops, unprepared for the fact that it was sweltering in Charleston all weekend. SO, you know. Had to!

We had lunch at one of Charleston's coolest casual eateries, Xiao Bao Biscuit. How do you pronounce that first word? I've heard it "Zjhow" and "Zow" and "Djow." So, I don't know. Take your best shot.

So, so delicious. Get the okonomiyaki with a fried egg and pork candy. Just trust me.

We walked back to our hotel to take a quick nap (and watch football) before our dinner reservation that night. At this point, my feet were an absolute mess from walking in the wrong shoes all day, so Jordan cut some bandages to fit over the places where it hurt. And I'm talking fit exactly. These are the perks of having a husband who deals in millimeters all day long.

Jordan would want me to acknowledge that he had just started growing out his beard, and that's why his facial hair is in an in-between stage. ; )

We stopped to get a little appetizer to tide us over at Magnolia Grill, which was amaze. Afterward, we caught up with some friends (hey, AE and Matt!) for a drink at their precious apartment, and got to play with their sweet pup before heading to our late dinner reservation.

Two Boroughs Larder was our dinner spot, and I think this was probably the only culinary low point of the trip. Really, it was only because their menu is very small and we weren't nuts about anything on it. Not a bad restaurant! But check online before you go to ensure maximum deliciousness. The ambiance of the place is wonderful, though - very cozy and romantic.

Sunday:

Sunday morning, we needed to scoot out of town relatively early, so we decided on Husk for brunch. We'd made a reservation at their earliest opening and it was SUCH a good idea.

If you've been to the Husk in Nashville, you know all about my boyfriend Sean Brock, executive chef of Husk. His low country food is not only beautiful and creative, but also made from local ingredients that are so fresh you could just about die. Even their butter is made in-house. Right. Are you salivating yet??

So, even though it was 10 AM, I went ahead and had myself a cheeseburger. And I am not sorry. Because their cheeseburgers are half beef and half BACON. That's right. Bacon IN the burger patty. I'm drooling typing it out.

Jordan had some kind of pork deliciousness, which he annihilated.