5 Ways I Know I'm Not 20 Anymore

Getting old is tough, kiddies. There are definitely some perks to being 27 rather than 22, but there are also some downsides.

Let's explore.

1. I wait excitedly for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy to come on. 

As I've previously mentioned, Jordan and I don't have cable - we use Apple TV/Hulu/Netflix. But we did buy some rabbit ears to get basic cable, so now we can watch all the old people game shows that come on right after the 5 o'clock news. This has now become part of my evening ritual. 

You guys, Alex Trebek is SO MEAN to these people. Seriously, if you haven't watched Jeopardy in a while, I implore you to do so if only to watch Trebek passive aggressively ROAST these folks. It really is something special. Here's an excerpt from a recent episode when he really wouldn't give this poor soul Irene a break: 

After the Jeopardy! round:

Alex: And Irene trailing both of you…by a hefty margin.

Before Double Jeopardy!:

Alex: Despite those scores, it’s not out of reach for Irene.

Before Final Jeopardy!

Alex: Irene – this wasn’t your day, but we’ll start with you.

Damn, Trebek. 

2. When plans get canceled, I am elated. 

Now, don't get me wrong - sometimes I really want to see people and do things. And nobody likes being flaked on - that's not what I'm talking about. I am referring to those times when plans have been tentatively made for a particular day, and on that day, you wake up unsure of what's going to happen. Then you get THE TEXT: "Hey! ________ came up for me - can we do it another night?" 

Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce you to my sweatpants and the couch. 

Because that's what's happening when plans get broken. And I love every second of it. When I was 20, I would've been super disappointed and/or angry that I was probably going to miss out on some hilarious great time. These days? Pass the Cape Cod Kettle Chips. Thanks.

3. The sun hates me. 

Oh, ancestors. Couldn't you have been ANYTHING but super, super white?? 

I vividly remember the moment when I saw the first lines on my face. I was doing Teach For America at the time. One of the things you have to perfect as a teacher is a non-verbal warning to a misbehaving student while not missing a step in the lesson you're teaching. Something like this: 

TFA pays for Botox, right? 

TFA pays for Botox, right? 

Anyway, I'd just gotten back into my car at the end of the day, and I pulled down my visor to check my lipstick in the mirror (I was going somewhere right after to meet some folks for a drink). My car was flooded with natural light, which, as you ladies know, leaves NO flaw unturned. 

It was like three tiny rivers had been running across my forehead for years and left the fossils on my face. TERRIBLE.

When I was 20, I fell asleep with my makeup on. Now, I exfoliate, use a retinoid, a moisturizer, a spot corrector (if necessary), Burt's Bees, and do a mask once a week. I will have no more lines than is absolutely necessary.

I used to be able to galavant all over the place and not worry about the sun giving me additional lines/wrinkles. In high school, I went to the TANNING BED. That's right. Tanning bed. Can't even believe that's still legal. 

Now, I am the person who will be tucked away in the shade at the beach, under an umbrella, with SPF 125. Why? Because my ancestors came from ScotIreEngland, Home of the Vampires. We don't do sun. I've accepted it. 

4. Tons of junk food ruins my life.

There were multiple occasions in college - no one really needs to know how many - that I got out of bed at 11 and went to Waffle House with my buddies. My standard order was: a double order of hashbrowns, double covered; egg and cheese sandwich on white; side of grits and a chocolate chip waffle. 

And I ate every bite.

Recently, Jordan and I went to Huntsville for a wedding. We ate McDonald's for breakfast on the way out of town, had Mexican food at Rosie's for lunch, then, after the reception, swung through McDonald's FOR A SECOND TIME to grab some late night. 

I felt like I had eaten bricks. And I felt like that for a week. 

The first night I met Jordan was at Birmingham-Southern's homecoming event. We met, talked for about 5 hours, and then I convinced him to go with me to grab everyone some late night food. We drove through Wendy's, where I ordered a sack of 7 or 8 Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers. When we got back to the fraternity house, only 6 were eaten. That left two. 

I ate both.

All this to say, I've prided myself for many years on having something of an iron stomach. My brother is blessed with the same condition. But now? Now, I'm old. I'm washed up. I can't anymore. It's hard, but for the most part, I've had to break up with eating constant junk. 

For anyone who is still 20 and can do this without consequence or weight gain:  

5. Relationship games are a thing of the past.

Oh, relationship games. How much I loved you. How fun you were. 

You guys know what I'm talking about. The, "Will he text me back?" "Do you think he'll ask me out?" "I'm not going to respond for another thirty minutes so he doesn't think I'm too available." "Will you ask his friend to ask him if he's seeing anyone?" 

Yeah. 

I like to think Jordan and I are still keeping the mystery alive. There are definitely certain things that are still private - for example, we are not the couple that continues a conversation while one of us is using the bathroom by leaving the door open - BUT. There are lots of comforting things about being married that don't have anything to do with leaving the bathroom door open.

Here is a random sample of the riveting text exchanges that have happened in the last few weeks, which I think are as far away from "games" or even "interesting" as two people can get:

Riveting, right? 

Or this: 

Or, how about this? 

Or how about this charming information? 

Actually can't believe I posted this one, but there ya go. 

Actually can't believe I posted this one, but there ya go. 

Listen - marriage is the best. It is really, really nice to be done with the early 20's portion of my life, when I spent a lot of time wondering who I'd end up with, and instead, actually spend time BEING with that person. Jord is my teammate and I love every second of it (except the occasional day where we want to kill each other). This high-five-from-a-distance gets done a lot in our relationship: 

And it's just what 20-year-old MC dreamed about. 

Have such a happy weekend, friends! 

Beautiful Max Patch

If you follow me on Instagram, you're probably like, "UGH, enough with the Max Patch stuff already!" 

But if you've been to Max Patch, you're not like that at all. 

Max Patch is what those in the know call a "bald," which is a naturally occurring patch of tree-less hilltop in the middle of an otherwise wooded area. What makes it even more special is that at its summit, you get a 360* view of the Blue Ridge Mountains from 4,600 ft. 

Max Patch is part of the Appalachian Trail, so hikers that are going north-to-south, who have been hiking on heavily wooded trails, suddenly climb up the side of a mountain and BAM. The world opens up like you've never seen it before.

Being on top of this mountain is indescribable - as anyone who has had a breathtaking experience in nature knows, it's probably the closest you come to feeling like God has materialized and is standing right next to you. It's also the closest you'll get to being Julie Andrews in the beginning of The Sound of Music twirling on that mountaintop. (Did it, and I'm not sorry.) 

Jordan, Tom Hanks and I have now been to Max Patch in almost every season, so I have pictures of it in summer, fall, and winter - just waiting on spring! 

I thought I'd share, because it's just a bunch of beauty, and because it's Wednesday, so ya might need a little beauty bump to get you through your week.  

SUMMER.

FALL: 

WINTER:
Little note: Jordan's family came into town for New Year's, so we spent January 1 on top of Max Patch. Pretty unreal way to kick off the new year. It was also 12* when we went up, but with wind, felt like 0*, so we were snapping pictures as fast as we could before our hands froze. 

My very favorite part of all of these photos is that Jordan had the idea months ago to take a picture of TH and me in every season. Once we have all four, we're going to frame them in our house. So far we've got these three - can't wait for spring! 

Graveyard Fields and Waterfall

Spooky name, right? I know. 

Thankfully, that's the only scary thing about this area. This, like Mt. Mitchell, is another hike that includes a drive down the gorgeous Blue Ridge Parkway. 

The name comes from what was once fields full of trees that were reduced to stumps by an enormous wind hundreds of years ago. The stumps looked like rows of tombstones (hence the name). Since then, a wildfire has burned those stumps away, but the name remains, and still draws lots of people to this really cool and popular hiking spot. 

The multitude of trails around the area are great, because, depending on what you're in the mood for, you can really suit yourself. Jordan, TH and I hiked one of the trails that continues up the mountain (the base sits at 5, 120 feet) and we really enjoyed it. The terrain is different from a lot that you normally see in this area -- you still get the lush, green plants, but because the wildfire cleared so many trees, they all sit on more of a plain than in a forest. 

Also, REAL blueberries! Like, I (Jordan) picked them and I (really me this time) ate them! Straight off the bush! It was crazy! 

But the best part of this hike is easily the waterfall and stream. At one point trying to get back toward the exit, we got a little lost (although Jordan would insist he knew where we were - hehe!) and thank goodness! We ended up alongside the beautiful stream that feeds into the waterfall. Watching Tom Hanks discover how deep the water was and splash around in it was hysterical to me. We kicked off our shoes and ended up hiking in the stream itself almost the entire way back! As a Type A planner, I'm learning to love these little spontaneous little moments that create such sweet memories. I can thank my husband for that. 

Here's a video of our big ol' dummy (said with love) trying to figure out how to walk in water (that's really not that deep). Please excuse my spastic breath-laughter. 

We loved the different terrain and water features that this hike offered, and because it's so popular, it looks like we aren't alone. Would be a truly fabulous summer hike for a couple or family. Pack swimsuits, a lunch, and make a day of it! 

Hopefully, you'll enjoy it so much that you'll be tuckered out like this little fella. 

Torn sheet used to fight (and lose) against dog hair in the car.

Mount Mitchell

The first hike that Jordan, Tom Hanks (the dog) and I undertook was a trek to Mt. Mitchell. Asheville is conveniently situated in the Blue Ridge Mountains, so there is no shortage of amazing outdoor activities to keep you occupied. 

Confession: I was not really an outdoorsy kinda gal before meeting/marrying Jordan. But he's converted me, and now I really enjoy a hike! As long as it ends in a hammock. And as long as Jordan packs a lunch. ...I'm not high maintenance, you're high maintenance. 

This is me "enjoying" our first-ever hike together back in 2012. I've come a long way.

Mt. Mitchell is a North Carolina State Park, and, with its peak topping out at 6,684 feet, is the highest point east of the Mississippi River. Unfortunately, the day we went, it was really cloudy - we couldn't really see very far! But the drive up was breathtaking. 

IMG_2347.jpg

We'd only been in Asheville for a week when we drove out, so the trip (all in all about an hour one way) was our first foray into the mountains. Having moved to NC with no friends and no family, this drive was our first impression of our new home. Needless to say, we were pretty bowled over. There were moments when we were above the clouds, or when we could see clouds pouring over the mountainside as though someone had a giant cosmic pitcher and was dumping them out. It was truly spectacular. 

We finally made our way onto the mountain, parked, and started by hiking onto a trail - not too far, probably only about a half mile. We weren't exactly sure what we were doing, so it was a shorter trip than what has become our now-normal 2-3 hour hikes. 

Afterward, we hiked a short little jaunt to the top of the mountain, where, as I mentioned, we didn't have the best visibility. ...as in, like, none. But it was still really fun! There were two older men on top of the peak who were making a video for a friend of theirs who had recently died. From what I gathered from their narration over the footage, it was to be used as part of their friend's eulogy. They ended their video with a prayer. Something about being that high up is already pretty spiritual, and this just took it to the next level. Absolutely precious and, of course, made me cry. 

The weather started to turn on us a little bit, so we decided to make our way back down the mountain while we had relatively clear skies. Though it was our shortest hike to date, the view on the drive up and (assuming you have clearer weather than we did!) once you reach the top are really something to see. And who doesn't want to go to the highest point east of the Mississippi? There's a great museum detailing the history of Mt. Mitchell that we missed since we had to bail a little early, but it would be very interesting to tour (cough if you are a giant history nerd like my husband cough).

Both humans and the dog on the trip enjoyed it - if you're visiting for an extended period of time, and you have a long afternoon free, this drive is a good investment.

Below are photos of the drive there and back!