Fly Fishing with Jordan

Most dentists take Fridays off, but Jordan takes Mondays. So this last Monday, we had an adventure. 

The three of us loaded up and drove to Curtis Creek so that Jordan could fly fish. In truth, we went there as a camping trial run, because Jord wanted to make sure I could handle 6 straight hours of no phone, computer, or other entertainment besides a book and a deck of cards. I've only been camping once: I was 12, and about halfway through the night it started POURING rain to the point that one of our tents caved in. So, you know...it was a really pleasant experience. 

I don't fancy myself a wilderness girl (unless we're talking Troop Beverly Hills Wilderness Girls, in which case I do), but Jordan has made me much more outdoorsy. Even still, I don't blame him for wanting to take me for the day before he took me camping overnight. He said, "Sweetheart, if we go for the night on our first try, I can just see you waking up the next morning with a stiff neck, having not slept very well, and saying, 'Okay. I'm bored. Time to go home.'" ...I wouldn't say that, YOU'D say that!! (I'd say that.) 

So off we went. Jordan fished Curtis Creek for about five and a half hours, and I read Girl On The Train on a pier with Tom Hanks. Despite having to constantly soothe TH's anxiety that he wasn't allowed in the water (he'd have scared the fish!), I had a fantastic time. And Jordan caught about 12 fish! I even got to cast a couple of times - didn't catch anything, but Jord let me reel in one of his catches and even hold one of the feesh. EEEEEEEEP! 

Here are some pictures from our adventure: 

This is the part where I hold a fish. I've held little fish, but I've never held a two-hander. They're strangely very soft...I was expecting them to be very bony and slick. Instead they were soft and slimy. I got two pictures with the fish before it jumped out of my hands (you can see it escaping in the third photo) and I yelped like a cartoon character. #uncool #needmorepractice Also, my thumbs are in a weird position in these pics but THAT'S HOW I WAS TOLD TO HOLD THE FISH, PEOPLE.

These next few are from up on the pier where I was sitting. Maybe it was the gloomy, overcast weather pairing perfectly with the murder mystery I was reading, but it couldn't have been more pleasant up there. I barely noticed that all that time had passed.

At one point in the afternoon, our trusty guard dog started growling (which he never does unless there are bears around). I turned and looked behind me to see two game wardens in uniform, standing with their arms crossed and watching Jordan fish. Those guys are sneaky! Of course, Jordan had a permit and everything was fine, but I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of those fellas. They mean business. I guess a young guy fishing on a Monday afternoon looked a little peculiar. 

I should warn you before you scroll down that my husband still has that moustache. I know. I know. 

I never knew trout were so pretty! They're multi-colored and beautiful. And if you were wondering, I don't know how to debone and/or cook a fish, so Jordan's a catch and release man. You're welcome, fishies! 

He is very gentle with the "release" part of catch and release, though - apparently you have to make sure the fish is doing okay and has enough energy to swim away. In the video below, he said he didn't spend as long on re-acclimating the fish because the current was so strong and would do the work for him. #themoreyouknow

Can't wait for next time - never thought I'd want to go on a date to the creek, but here I am. Asheville Mary Catherine loves outside. Who am I?? 

Pure Barre Update

Well, it's been two months since I started at Barre. And I am a bona fide convert. 

Some disclaimers: 

1. I do not work out in full hair and makeup; these were taken after church. 
2. My house is messy. I just decided to #letitgo. 
3. Aside from color-correction, none of these photos have been edited (not that you'd think that because I'm not in any sort of crazy shape...okay I'm going to just stop disclaiming now.) 

Here are some things I love about Pure Barre: 

• They tell you "all your stress will melt away," and it does. The music pumping through the class is so loud and inspiring, it barely feels like it's 55 minutes. 
• The instructors are really positive and encouraging. They will come correct your form (which I love!) and they shout you out on the mic when you're doing well! 
• I said this last time, but PB is so gentle on your joints. If you read this blog regularly, you'll know I had a bit of an ankle trauma last fall, and running is challenging for me these days. Barre gives me the same great, high-intensity workout, just without the stress to my joints. 
• It is REALLY HARD. "Barre" sounds like it would be a workout for ninnies, but y'all - I am pouring sweat every time I leave. Though every workout covers arms, thighs, seat, and abs, each class includes different exercises, making it damn near impossible to ever plateau. 
• I go between 3 and 4 times a week, and that has been enough. 
• I have not been dieting at all - this is all the result of exercise. I believe that diet shapes 3/4 of what you look like, and exercise 1/4; I've been actively working against PB because of what I've been eating. And even still, I see clear differences in my body. 

Where I've noticed physical changes: 

• My arms are definitely more sculpted. I have noticeable definition in my triceps, shoulders, and biceps that I didn't have before I started taking classes. But they aren't bulky, which is important to me.
• My "seat" has started lifting off the backs of my thighs and becoming more toned. They call the area between your booty and your thighs your "Pure Barre ledge;" I call it your "thass" --  po-tay-to, po-tah-to. Either way, I've never seen my rear end be this high off my legs. 
• My thighs - quads and hamstrings - are becoming stronger. Interesting note: since I had a background in (very, very slow) running and have more muscular thighs naturally, I thought the "thigh" portion of the program would be the easiest. WRONG. So, so wrong. Thighs are my most challenging section every single time. I'm definitely a little self conscious about my convex thigh muscles (very, very round and protruding and always have been), and PB is helping them slim down a bit, both from a side and front view.
• Definition in my abs - this is the first time I've ever felt like I've even gotten close to a "flat" stomach. 

There are certainly things I still struggle with about the class: it is a bit expensive, and I can understand how it's a little intimidating to walk into the studio for the first time. Heck, I did that - I get it! 

Though the money part of it is not going to change, I have really been thrilled to see how welcoming the women in my class are. From the first time I walked through the door to now, the women in my 8:30 class are absolutely ALWAYS smiling and glad to see me. I've tried to extend that same courtesy to newcomers to the class. Between the poses you've never done, the lingo, the gear, and the fast-pace of the class, it's easy to get discouraged if you don't have some women around you saying things like, "Girl, trust me. It gets easier!!" And the Asheville studio is absolutely slam-packed with teachers and clients alike who are so encouraging, positive, and uplifting whether you've been coming for 2 days or 2 years. 

All told, Barre has definitely changed my body in a major way. The only thing I'm interested in now is whether or not I'm getting enough of a cardio workout (I'll have to borrow someone's Fit Bit!) for it to count as heart-healthy.

But my overall review? GLOWING. I love my class and I feel proud of my body right now. Obviously I don't think I look perfect -- I'm under no illusions that I'm Giselle - but knowing what my best body looks like makes me feel strong and proud of my progress. I'm interested to see how things will shape up after a couple of weeks of me not actively undoing everything I work so hard to do in class by eating half a bag of pretzels every night. 

More updates to come! 

5 Things I Learned from My Mother

WIth Mother's Day around the corner, I couldn't leave this week without paying a little special attention to my mom. I'm fortunate to have a mom, first of all, but even more fortunate to be very, very close to her. April and I talk conservatively 4 times a day, and both of our husbands have just had to DEAL.

Last year, after more than a quarter century of us living in the same state, my parents moved to Tulsa and we moved to Asheville. That put 14 hours in a car between April and me, which has made me realize just how much I love her (if that even needed emphasis). So Mom, this post is for you: the five biggest lessons you've taught me so far. 

1. Food solves everything. 

New Year's Day 2015 - there are 13 tiny layers in this cake. April made it, of course. 

This one was an easy beginning. Anyone who is even remotely close to my family has eaten in our kitchen, which also means eating my mom's incredible food. She's not just a good cook "for a mom;" she's a good cook for anybody. Guests around my mother's table sit down hungry, are gobsmacked by the level of skill she has in the kitchen, then leave - full, a little drunk (though that's my dad's doing), and happy. 

Whether it's homemade buttermilk biscuits, fried chicken (Parker's favorite), Thomas Keller's roast chicken, or breakfast on Christmas morning, the woman knows what she's doing. 

In my own life, food with my mom has played a major role. Though we are definitely both healthier eaters now than we used to be (and thank you Jesus, because we'd be 800 pounds each), every major event in my life has been marked by Mom and me tearing up some kind of cuisine. Bad day? Mexican food. Home sick from school? Burger King on the way home. Weekend at my grandmother's? Krispy Kreme for breakfast. Got dumped? Homemade mashed potatoes. 

Including this in the list is not about bragging on my mom's culinary skill (though I did plenty of that and am going to continue bragging with abandon), but about something deeper - cooking is a love language for my mother, and for many mothers out there. Cooking has become a love language for me because I grew up listening to that language, and now I can speak it because my mother taught me how. 

2. Light up your eyes. 

Maya Angelou was once quoted talking about how important it was as a parent to make sure your children knew that you loved them. She said one of the best yardsticks to use was, "Do your eyes light up when they come into the room?" 

I vividly remember hearing this quote on the radio in my car, because it moved me to tears - it was the first time I realized just how fortunate I was to have a mother whose eyes were always full of light. 

Parker and I grew up in a house where literally every single time we walked through the front door, Mom would yell, "MAAAAAARY!!!!!! PARKERRRRRR!!!!" usually followed by a totally non-rhyming chant or cheer of some sort while we all marched around or clapped along (I can hear it in my head now). It didn't matter if we had been gone for 5 days or 5 minutes - there was an actual celebration that took place when we returned. 

This practice of pouring out love and celebration is something my mother does constantly. She poured it out for her clients at a food ministry in Birmingham, for the little girl she tutors in Tulsa, for all her many friends, for her family. It wasn't until I heard that Maya Angelou quote that I realized my mother embodied something that is an actual effort for other people, and I've never taken it for granted again. 

3. Go above and beyond as a hostess.

She isn't in this photo, but her fingerprints are EVERYWHERE. Photo be Leslee Mitchell Photography.

Anyone who's ever stayed at my parents' or eaten at my parents' table knows this one to be true: April turns it OUT when people are coming over. 

Fresh flowers in vases on every surface. Food absolutely everywhere. A glass bottle of water and glasses on every nightstand. Rising early to cook a ridiculously enormous breakfast. If it's a party she's hosting, the house is completely immaculate, decorated within an inch of its life and somehow still very tasteful. Our birthday cakes and invitations as children were always homemade, thought "homemade" at my house looked professionally crafted. 

This is one I'm still honing myself (haven't quite nailed it - I think it must take years), but it speaks to Mom's constant and unwavering willingness to place others before self. It's not about hosting for her, it's about meeting everyone's needs and seeing that everyone who crosses the threshold of her home feels so special, attended to, and deeply loved. 

4. Give it away.

Speaking of generosity, this one is a biggie. 

I have so many memories growing up of this exact situation playing out: 

Some random person: "April, I love your earrings!" 
April: "Oh, thank you!! Here, why don't you have them?" 
Random person: "Oh, no - I couldn't do that." 
April: *already taking them out of her ears* "Please!! I would love for you to have them." *hands them over.* 

This happened with earrings, bags, jackets - you name it, she's given it away. Of course, there are a few special things with which she'd never part, but mostly, even considering her ubiquitous style and flare, Mom is pretty willing to part with "just stuff." Though she has always been a "cool mom" in the sense of being fashionable and current, she's never had a closet stuffed full of clothes, shoes, and jewelry. She's selective in her choices, and even then, it's just stuff. And still, she would be voted among anyone I know as one of the most beautiful and classic women around. 

But again, as with most things, this action is a reflection of a deeper attitude for my mom: things aren't important, but people are. 

5. Choose joy.

Crying of joy in this very picture. 

Loud, constantly singing, cackling/snorting/wheeze laughing, spastic, dancing badly, crying on a dime, twirling around with happiness, striking up conversations with complete strangers, oversharing - these are just a few things that Mom and I have in common.

It's because April lives her life from a place of joy first. 

Nobody's life is perfect. But there is a way to live that places happiness, kindness, and J O Y at the forefront of a person's mind and heart, and that is the way that April McAnnally lives. 

Really, it's not just joy - it's all her emotions. She feels things deeply and immediately, and so do I. I can't count the number of times we've started to tell a story and paused, tearing up, saying, "I'm gonna cry talking about it!" Or how many times I've called her and she's in the middle of sobbing while watching someone succeed on The Voice or American Idol. Or how many times we've been at a concert and I've had to step away from the crazy woman dancing and singing all the words. Or how many times, seeing that I'm angry or upset about something, she will also get angry or upset, to the point that I have to calm her down in order to calm myself down. 

My mother lives life with a heart WIDE open. Choosing to live that way means you're vulnerable to great despair, but it also means that you feel love, triumph, and sparkly-can't-stand-it-goodness more intensely than most. It is a way to walk through life that sees the world in all its color, vibrancy, diversity, and hope - every day, all the time, without trying hard. She is the queen of this particular lifestyle.

Of course, there's no way to capture everything I've learned from my mother. I don't even think I'm aware of it - she made me, she has shaped me, and she continues to fine-tune her work by living the example of what it means to be a compassionate, kind, God-loving, spirited, FABULOUS woman. I haven't had any success, happiness, or wonder in my life for which she wasn't, in some sense, responsible. There's nobody like her. 

Here's to you, Mom. 

Kids on Ellen

One of the things I like to do if I'm having a weird, slow, or fuzzy morning, LIKE TODAY, is watch a video of one of the millions of cute kids that have been on the Ellen show. 

I know it's not "5 Things Friday," but who cares? Here are 5 videos that will make you smile - if they don't, I don't wanna know ya. 

1. Macy meets Obama

2. Lil' P-Nut (my favorite of all time)

3. Brielle recites the periodic table (Jordan's favorite of all time)

4. Sophia Grace and Rosie meet Nicki Minaj

5. The "Apparently" kid, who is also an 85 year old man trapped in a child's body

Met Ball: Best and Worst

Last night was one of my favorite nights in fashion. It's the annual Met Gala, also known as the Met Ball, which serves as the major annual fundraiser for the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Since the Institute itself is named for Anna Wintour, she always hosts the event (there are even rumors that she screens and pre-approves all the attendees' outfits), and chooses a co-host. This year, it was Taylor Swift - but more on that later.

Because textiles can't be constantly exposed to light and air while still being preserved, the Costume Institute has a theme each year that dictates what they put on display in the museum, and the Met Ball revolves around that theme. This year's was "Manus x Machina: Fashion in the Age of Technology." 

I am SO ready to get this party started. Let's hit it: 

BEST, in no particular order.

Katy Perry in Prada

SLAYING. I can't decide whether or not this is my favorite look of the night, but it's certainly in my top three. The Met Ball is all about drama - it's not a moment to play it safe. The most memorable looks from years past have been worn by people who really went for it (remember this?), so I'm all about a look that not only shoots for the stars, but lands there. This is both theme appropriate and DEEPLY fabulous - she looks like some kind of robot overlord. 

Lupita Nyong'o in Calvin Klein Collection

I love how, in both Katy Perry and Lupita's pictures, there are onlookers in their photos. That's how striking they were - they paps couldn't even get a picture without accidentally snagging some people gawking and talking about their gowns! 

Listen - is this my favorite look of all time? No. But this evening was not about practicality, nor should it be - as you'll see in my "worst" section, the people I liked least are the people who didn't take a chance. Although that color is not my favorite on her, the dress fits her flawlessly. And that hair? Come on. Miss Lupita is serving up alien princess realness and I am HERE FOR IT. 

Zoe Saldana in Dolce & Gabbana

Once again, bringing the drama and the FIERCE. Although I'm not 100% sure how this aligns with the theme of technology influencing fashion, I really don't care because I'm being overwhelmed by fabulousness. She is to die for. 

Edit: I now see exactly how this aligns because of how the skirt was made. It's about featuring technology IN fashion, not necessarily about looking like a robot.

Beyoncé in Givenchy

Does she know what she's doing, or what? 

Mere days after the release of her world-stopping album Lemonade, and after all the drama that took place after the Met Ball two years ago, she knew all eyes would be on her. And she brought it. But she went a very different route this year than last year's naked dress - she's got full coverage, but still pulled of the body-con in what looks like a latex space suit. This is honestly a dress that I have both loved and hated in the last 12 hours, but that usually means it's right on the nose for the Met Ball. 

Bella Hadid in Givenchy

It's hard to see in this photo, but that entire skirt is detailed ruffles. 

Call me basic, but I thought she was stunning last night. 

Lady Gaga in Atelier Versace

VINTAGE GAGA! VINTAGE GAGA! 

Oh my goodness, the degree to which this outfit thrills me is probably a little bit embarrassing. I love love LOVE that she went back to a leotard and sky-high platform boots. It's hard not to figure that this is an homage not only to the theme, but to her icon David Bowie. 

Living for that jacket. 

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

I don't even feel the need to comment on this obvious knockout, but I will. 

I don't normally love Zac Posen, but he really knocked it out of the park here. This is Cinderella-bot beauty, and only Claire Danes and her elegance could pull this off. Just look at her - that is the face of a woman who knows she nailed it. 

Jared Leto and Florence Welch in Gucci

Two style icons doing what they do best: shutting it down. 

Others I'm obsessed with: 

WORST. 

Taylor Swift in custom Louis Vuitton

GIRL, BYE. 

This is DEFINITELY biased because I really can't abide Taylor Swift at all and I am REALLY. SICK. OF HER. these days. 

It's just...so thirsty. Like, Taylor Swift: you've built an empire on "cherry lips and crystal skies." Go home and wipe off that black lipstick. You are not goth. You are not Kylie Jenner. You are not fooling anyone. 

My chief complaint about this look is that Taylor was co-hosting this event with Anna Wintour, and she chose to wear...a cocktail dress?? This is a WHITE TIE event. Cocktail isn't up to code. And on top of all of that, this looks like a dress she would've worn in her tour this past year - it doesn't strike me as unique at ALL. This wasn't daring or chance-taking; this was SAFE. She wears some version of this every single awards show. Am I supposed to be impressed because she found the platinum bleach?

Taylor Swift = metallic, cutouts, crop top and high-rise bottoms, sleeveless. Always. Basic basic basic basic BASIC. You need some "me time," Taylor. Glad you're taking a year off. Go work on yourself. 

Amy Schumer in Alexander Wang

Sad boobs and lack of pedicure. Also, not on theme. 

Her dress looks like a dragon who needs Prozac. HATE it. 

Mindy Kaling in Tory Burch

Mindy, I love you, but I just fell asleep. This is the most boring dress on planet Earth. And at the MET BALL?! Rihanna basically wore a giant omelette last year! Come on, girl!

What makes me the saddest about this is that she usually uses her personal costume designer, Salvador Perez, to create stunning and colorful looks that fit her beautifully. This was just a swing and a miss. 

Blake Lively in Burberry

Poor Blake got confused and thought she was attending last year's Gala, whose theme was China: Through the Looking Glass. 

This doesn't make any sense and is also VERY Blake Lively with that wrapped super-tight corset style. We've seen it. We're bored. 

Also another celeb for whom I believe #thethirstisreal. She and Taylor Swift can go hang out somewhere. 

Katie Holmes in I Don't Care Enough to Look It Up

She looks like someone's crazy aunt they're trying to avoid at a wedding reception. This is the definition of #tragique. 

Madonna

...no. No. THIS is the definition of #tragique. Honey. Let's get you home and in bed. It makes me sad that someone this iconic is aging this poorly - and I don't mean that she looks bad. I mean that she is begging for proverbial table scraps. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS, MADONNA. 

Dishonorable mention: The ENTIRE Kardashian/West clan (Kanye actually wore JEANS TO THIS EVENT AND I CANNOT), Ivanka Trump, Kristen Stewart. 

Taking a Compliment

Taking a compliment. Not easy, right? 

When someone compliments us - hair, clothes, professional success, how well-behaved our children or our pets are, our home, etc. - our first instinct is not to accept, but to deflect. 

Here are some examples of things that I have said recently: 

Compliment: "Mary Catherine, your outfit is so cute!" 
Me: "Well I'm trying to distract from the fact that I've eaten like I'm out on bail this weekend, so this tunic is to mask the 1,000 pounds of pasta in my belly right now." 

Compliment: "This breakfast is delicious - thank you so much!" 
Me: "Somehow I've made these biscuits 1,000 times, and they still didn't turn out quite right. Ugh. But thank you!" 

Compliment: "I love the way you did your hair today. It looks really pretty!" 
Me: "Actually I look like a garden troll - I haven't washed my hair for three days and it basically is about to leave my head in protest." 

So, yeah. I'm certainly not talking about this because I've mastered the art of taking a compliment. 

But it's something I've become acutely aware of lately - it seems women in particular simply cannot take compliments. We have such a hard time accepting that someone else is giving us praise. Why?? I think it's two major reasons: 

1. We don't accept compliments because we don't want other people to think we're stuck up. 

This is basically the "So you agree - you think you're really pretty?" scene from Mean Girls, realized. If someone gives you a compliment, and you don't immediately disagree or say something mean about yourself, that must mean you AGREE with the compliment. And THAT must mean you're stuck up and horrible, because the idea that you're allowed to feel good about yourself is just plain unacceptable. 

2. We genuinely don't agree with the compliment or are uncomfortable getting praised. 

I have lots of friends who, when complimented (especially in front of a group), turn into shrinking violets. They physically actually make themselves smaller and try to direct attention anywhere but them. These are my friends who, for whatever reason, can't understand why they're being positively reinforced by anyone about anything. They don't believe they're worthy of these sorts of kind words, so they have a physiological reaction to being singled out. They don't see it in themselves and they CERTAINLY don't want to hear it from others. 

Listen, here's the thing. 

If someone is giving you a compliment about ANYTHING - however small - it's because that person really, genuinely had that thought and wanted to share it with you. It's a verbal affirmation with the singular intention of making you feel good about yourself. When we deflect or disagree with compliments, we're not really achieving the goal we think we are. Instead of looking humble, funny, or down-to-earth, we end up looking rude, ungrateful, and insecure. The person who gave us the compliment is now having to laugh at our joke meant to minimize what they meant to be kind.

Think about it - if you were at a restaurant with a group of people and someone said, "My meal was GREAT. Every bite was perfect," you'd never respond with, "Really?? Because I thought your food looked like garbage." Of course not! You'd never be rude enough to say something that contradicted that person's experience or insulted their opinion. And you know what a compliment directed at you is? That person's experience and their opinion. 

I am a person who loves to compliment other people, regardless of how well I know them (I'm the girl who will cross a room to tell a stranger that I love her shoes or bag or hair or anything else), and yet I still have to coach myself through simply saying, "Thank you so much!" when someone compliments me. Whazzup with that?? 

So here's my challenge for everyone, but particularly the ladies who read this blog: all week long, I want us (me included) to practice accepting compliments WITHOUT the little dog and pony show that goes along with it. Here are some responses you could use: 

"Thank you so much!" 
"Oh wow - I wasn't feeling great, and you just made my day!" 
"That is so kind of you to say. I really appreciate that." 
" You know what? I left the house feeling really insecure about _________, and you just made me feel great!" 
"You are always so sweet. Thanks for saying that!" 
And if you're anxious about letting the "Thank you," hang in there air, then throw a compliment right back! 

If your problem is that you're worried people will think you're a big snob, here's a secret: they won't. People are way too wrapped up in themselves to worry thinking that much about your response to a compliment -- promise. 

If your problem is that you don't think you deserve the attention, well Lean In, sister, 'cause I got news: YOU DO. 

It may be uncomfortable, and it may not feel natural, but on our path to being fully realized, gracious, radiant women, one of the things we have to learn to do is just say, "Thank you." 

Gauntlet: thrown! 

(And in the meantime, please enjoy this hysterical - but also NSFW and partially pretty foul - video from Inside Amy Schumer about how women just can't take a compliment.)