Gilmore Gab: We Have a Trailer.

Oh my goodness. 

Like many Gilmore Girls fans out there, I have been freaking out and watching all of the things in anticipation for this new series to be released. 

"What are 'the things?'" you might ask. 

Well, I watched this hour and 45 minute long panel with the entire cast at the ATX festival, and this great interview on the Today Show a few months back. It's just really good goodness. 

So, suffice it to say that I have been amped for many moons. Word to the wise, that ATX festival interview basically serves as a podcast if you put headphones in and clean your house while listening. Just sayin'. 

So yesterday, when it was announced that the series returns on NOVEMBER 25, meaning I'm basically going to spend my Thanksgiving holiday unapologetically huddled in front of the computer, I was real pumped.

AND THEN THE TRAILER CAME OUT. 

Oh my gosh. 

Can we just analyze? 

First of all, I don't know about y'all, but with those first few guitar strums in the intro, I was COVERED in goosebumps. 

We get to see so many places! 

Luke's! It's still there!

The Dragonfly! (Where Melissa McCarthy better damn well be or so help me God...)

Precious lil' Stars Hollow in the fall! 

Then, the money shot: 

I mean, get out of here. It's so perfect. It hasn't changed a bit. Now all I want to do is go put twinkle lights outside my house. 

AND THEN WE GET TO SEE OUR GIRLS. 

Let's just run through a quick list of observations, shall we? 

• Coffee. Still. Always. 

• They're eating Pop Tarts. Still. Always. 

• The house looks pretty much the same! Rory's Yale pennant can even be seen hanging on her bedroom mirror. 

• Neither actress appears to have had any major work done to their faces. You laugh, but nothing spoils a reunion like bad plastic surgery. 

• Lorelai is wearing a Rachel Antonoff "I'm with Human" sweatshirt, but it's conveniently also nearly the same slogan as our Democratic presidential nominee. Including the arrow underneath the words, which mimics the arrow in Hillary's logo. Just sayin'. 

• They're reading papers - actual newspapers - but have an iPhone on the table. This suggests to me that Stars Hollow is exactly where we left it, but Rory, who most likely doesn't live at home, has a foot in the tech-savvy world (as she always has).

• NEITHER WOMAN IS WEARING A RING. This is a big one. No engagement or wedding bands on any hands. Does this mean that we get to see Luke and Lorelai get married?!?! Or does this mean they aren't together. What. Oh man. 

• They're talking about current celebrities who they would, of course, love - Amy Schumer and John Oliver. Hearing Lauren Graham say the names of modern-day celebs really made me so excited. So the reboot is set in real time, not in some other period in the last ten years.

• And everything else is pretty much a mystery. 

So here are the fun questions we still get to have answered: 

• What does Rory do for a living? 

• Is either woman in a relationship? And, if so, who's the guy? 

• How is Emily faring without Richard? 

• What are Lane and Zack (and the twins) up to? 

• Where does Rory live? Surely not too far away from SH. 

• Kirk? Taylor? Miss Patty? Babette? I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER HOLY WOW. 

I am a huge TV girl - I feel like these people are my friends. It's been so hard to watch beloved series come to an end: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, LOST, The Office, etc.; to have something as tender and precious as Gilmore Girls resurrected is pretty close to unbeatable. And to have it in the hands of the creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino (who was famously not part of the final season of the show) makes it that much better. We're back to our roots. 

In other words, 

Let's get ready to GILMORE. 

The Men Tell All.

Okay, people. I'm gonna recap this on the condition that I'll be using fewer screengrabs, because the screengrabs part of those recaps takes me about two hours to compile, and, frankly, these stooges are not worth it. 

But I did watch. And I am gonna snark all over them. 

• HOW many times are we gonna have to hear Chad's whistle from the 2x1 looped over itself. Oy. 
• Chad is so pitiful - he started out being awesome because he was kind of anti-establishment in a fun way, but now he's sold out to The Man and will do literally whatever will make him more famous. 
• Case in point: he's eating a sweet potato in his trailer. Because he wants ATTENTION. 
• Oh man Bachelor in Paradise preview DID I JUST SEE JUBILEE IN BED WITH EVAN 
• TELL ME I DIDN'T
• TELL
  ME
  I DIDN'T

• NICK VIALL YOU KEEP YOUR DAMN DIRTY HANDS OFF OF SWEET SINGLE MOM AMANDA

• Oh man I really hope Evan gets punched out by Chad. I wanna see him just get knocked the hell out and hospitalized. Not killed, mind you, just taken out for a while so he can think about his life and his choices. 
• CAILA IS ON THIS SHOW?!? CAILA I THOUGHT MORE OF YOU DAMN IT 
• That preview made me feel the way I feel after my birthday party is over. Sad and alone. It premieres on my anniversary. I mean, come on. Thank you, universe.

THE GUYS: 

• Brandon got a haircut. 

• OH, SAINT NICK. That's why that guy dressed up like Santa. I just got that. Wow. Blonde moment. 
• Jonathan put on a little weight. 
• Vinny got Jordan/Luke/Chase/Robby's haircut. Remember, he used to have those straight-across bangs? 

• Not wanting to ever be left out of anything, Evan, in his failed attempts to be cool, also got that haircut: 

• So did James Taylor, who was teetering on the edge of having that cut anyway.

• No surprise that Snake's applause breaks the applause-o-meter. 
• All the other guys are looking at each other like, "Great. SO glad Chad is getting this much attention. Fantastic." 

• We're treated to this extremely pornographic montage of JoJo, who Evan calls, "The best Bachelorette there's ever been." I think he said that because he saw boobs for the first time. Oh, Evan. I remember my first beer. 

• Then we get into trying to psychoanalyze the behavior of all these guys, as though that's a) interesting, or b) possible. 
• Lil' Tyke Alex is first up in the shrink's chair. 
• Dr. Wells actually offers up a pretty solid theory that because Alex was raised in combat, he looks for conflict. Surprising depth there, Wells. Would've liked to have seen you as the next Bachelor, but I saw you on that Paradise preview and it looks like you're in it for the nookie. 
• Snake is not having the fact that military guys are being portrayed as loose canons. 

• He didn't even have to get mean. Just tellin' it like it is. That's my Snake right there. Love that guy. 
• Just noticed that homeboy is still in his kilt. 

• John Krasinski is not coming off great in this episode. He's kind of whiney and lame. 
• Honestly, THAT is how pitiful this season is. They're making an entire show out of Chad, a villain for like 5 episodes, because JoJo is so deeply uninteresting and unsympathetic. 

• Thanks for your thoughts, Evan, but I'm gonna have to stop you right there because NOBODY CARES. 
• I'm tempted to just bail on this entire recap because of how ridiculous this ALREADY is re: all things Chad. This show doesn't deserve my viewership. 
• But I can't help myself. I want to know what happens. 
• This line will go down for me as one of the greatest in Bachelor history: 

• And this one: 

• The thing is, Chad could HANDILY kick the asses of everyone here. He is a monster. Super tall and absolutely HUGE. 
• His cheek line on his beard is up to his eyeballs. It's so high! How did I not notice that??  Also has the weirdest beard line ever. 

• A security guard?. Come on. 

• So, what, he dug up secrets on every single person here so they can't respond to them? 
• Chris Harrison basically just asked Chad if he's slept with Robby and Grant's girlfriends. This is where are, people. This is where we are. 
• Now Saint Nick wants to fight Chad? That's how he's gonna get his 15 minutes? 

• In the most epic screen grab of all time, I accidentally captured Evan checking out Nick's ass. Proving ONCE AND FOR ALL that Evan is gayer than Peter Pan.
• The Canadian delivers the best line of the night and puts us all on blast: 

• So what now? Is that guy gonna just stand there throughout the entire commercial break??? What is this, a duel? 

• Okay yes, apparently he did in fact stand there through the commercial. So ridiculous. And then just kind of anti-climactically went back to his seat. 

• Chad is really just not entertaining any of this stuff - he doesn't care about being a part of this conversation in a genuine way, which is amazing. 
• He's just trolling everyone. 
• Trying to get a rise out of them. And it's working.  John Krasinski is talking to him about something normal and this was his response: 

• Also we're learning some interesting information about Jordan - that he 1) has a sportscasting job and is 2) "only in it for the fame." Which I TOTALLY believe because I do not like Jordan. 
• I've never been in a scenario where I don't like anyone in the finale, including the Bachelor/Bachelorette, until this season. Like I genuinely don't care who wins. 
• Chad keeps trolling everyone to my delight.
• Then. We have to. Listen. To Evan. UGH. 
• The audience apparently is the new jury for what happened on this season. As in, Harrison is legit asking the people what their opinions are about everything. 

• Evan, your fate has been decided, you little tiny squirrely greasy Keebler Elf: 

• Blah blah blah Chad keeps getting talked about, I'm bored, let's move on. 

SNAKE AND CHASE'S TURN. 

• Poor Snake. This montage of their relationship is brutal. 

Then we move on to Chase's sad story: 

Let's hear from JOJE:

• What kind of person is she?? She just admitted that she sent Snake home because he didn't literally say the words, "I love you," in that order. I mean, come on. You're a monster. 

• Then it's Chase's turn to hear why this lil' Candy Corn broke his heart: 

• And she basically said that she still doesn't know if she made a mistake sending him home. So that'll make a guy feel great. 
• Both these guys were so sweet and handled the breakup with such dignity. Both thanked her for what she'd taught them. I mean, it doesn't get a lot better than that. 
• Then Chad tries to turn the attention back toward him by firing shots at Robby and Jordan to JoJo herself, which she doesn't entertain because she knows Chad is not #herefortherightreasons. 
• Then Donatella Versace showed up. Oh -- wait, no. That's Vinny's mom. 

• Good deal. 
• Then we have a blooper reel. 
• People. This reunion was full of Chad being an idiot and the other guys being so decent that they aren't even interesting. UGH COME ON. 
• Harrison's GOT JOKES!!! He knows how stupid the phrase "amazing journey" is - I love this: 

• Okay so the show's over - we need to talk about JoJo's family. 
• Y'all, when these guys meet HER family, they're going to start doubting their relationship with her. Trust. 
• They thought THEIR families were the hurdle. HAHAHAHAHA good joke. The Fletchers are...a special bunch. 

• Good luck, buttercups. You're gonna need it. 

Slash it looks like she's gonna pick Robby. I feel like his beard is the beard in theis shot where she says "I love you." 

See you next week on the 

DRAMATIC
SEASON
FINALE. 

Sex Island.

THE MEN TELL ALL. 

WAIT - this is Sex Island AKA Fantasy Suites?? 

HOW did I not know this was coming? Oh man, it's gonna be a good night. 

Okay wow I forgot about how dramatic this last episode was. Let me just say what we've all been thinking: JoJo has a set of priorities (hot, good kisser, hot, tall, good body, hot) and she's not really worried about long-term traits like "smart" or "decent." 

All that to say, I hope she doesn't pick Snake. I want Snake to escape this show. He's too good for it. And honestly, they never use the fourth-runner-up as The Bachelor, which would mean that if she doesn't move him forward tonight, he'd for SURE escape with his life. Unless Chris Harrison decides to pull a fast one and make him Bachelor. But it's still really going to bother me if she cuts him just because it will reflect her consistently bad judgment. RUN SNAKE RUN!! 

Okay. Let's see what happens: 

PART LEFTOVER: Last Week's Rose Ceremony: 

• The fact that he had to go back and make sure he said, "I love you," specifically...I'll just never get over it. As though the gesture at his hometown wasn't enough. 
• Wonder who's going to be in the bottom? I think Chase and Luke, then she'll pick Chase. Because I'm starting to learn that she will do the exact opposite of what I'd do. 
• Is anyone else just 1,000% confused about why Robby is still here?? He has the features of an old woman. 
• She picked Chase. 

• UNBELIEVABLE. 
• Unbelievable. 
• I know I called it, but I still can't believe it.
• Not that I was carrying around loads of respect for her anyway, but this choice was the most unintelligent one I've ever seen made in the history of this show. That's right, THE HISTORY OF THIS SHOW. Luke is the clear front-runner and why she let him go is TOTALLY BEYOND ME. 
• This sealed the deal that Jordan is winning. It's so boring now. 
• Newsflash: if you're crying this hard, it might mean something about YOU MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE. 

• Good for you, Luke. Get out of there. Don't let her sit there and try to justify this. 
• STOP HUGGING HIM, YOU JUST DUMPED HIM.
• YOU ARE THE WORST.

• SHE NEVER COMMUNICATED THAT THIS WAS A PROBLEM. 
• She broke up with him because he didn't communicate to her and she NEVER communicated to him that he wasn't communicating. GET IT?? 

• Of course you did, honey. Because that's how normal people work. 
• Damn this is brutal. 
• This is a total bitch move. This is something that I really have a problem with. If you're breaking up with someone, don't sit around and cry and try to get them to make YOU feel better about it. Say what you need to say and leave them their dignity. 

• Cool story, JoJo. 
• Jordan (my husband, not Rodgers): "This whole 'sobbing in the airplane hangar' scene is really gonna make these other guys feel great." 
• Seriously any woman who would pick Robby over Luke (using his real name here)...I can't. 
• Also this is what you're missing, JoJo, you unbelievable moron. That's right. Snake is also a country singer. 

PART I - Robby. Ugh.

• - Literally any guy on this show could have said that exact quote and it would've been applicable. 
• Robby's thirstiness trying to get JoJo to say, "I love you" to him is really desperate. He's coming on WAY too strong. 
• Stop calling her "Joelle" like you're special. 

• Robby, your perception of yourself is:

• And really you're:

• You've noticed that the other two guys have your exact haircut, right? Not like a similar haircut. YOUR EXACT HAIRCUT. 
• You're one in a carousel of dudes she's hardcore making out with, stop feeling good about the relationship.
• "Wow, Mary Catherine, tell us how you really feel!" Yeah I haven't even BEGUN. 
• Can I also just say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I've never seen any Bachelor or Bachelorette make out with the contestants as hardcore as JoJo has?? SO much tongue. SO much hand-action. 
• She's so freaked out that he's telling her he loves her so many times. She's trying to basically say, "This is so weird," but just with her eyes. 

• Your dad snuck a note into the pocket of your jeans???? 
• That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. 
• That entails a dad sneakily slipping a sheet of paper into his adult son's BACK POCKET so stealthily that the son has no idea. 
• Oh, Jordan (husband not Rodgers) said maybe Robby wasn't wearing the jeans at the time and his dad just tucked the note into his suitcase.
• ...oh. 
• Well that changes things. 
• Anyway regardless, let's just all agree that that note was not written by Robby's dad.
• Robby wrote that letter himself. Or a producer did.  
• Can we also talk about that if a person is the Bachelor or Bachelorette, and they appear on a season as a contestant, then star on the next season, there are four people that we KNOW they've slept with? 
• #america

• This is everything we need to know about why Robby is still here: because he has been vocal (to the point of being redundant and/or extremely creepy) about his feelings for her. She knows he's a sure thing. 

• "I AM IN LOVE WITH ROBBY?!?!?!" 
• Okay girl. Listen. I'm gonna tell it to you straight: If you picked Robby over Luke to take to Sex Island, you need to get yourself checked out. By someone with a medical degree. 
• Of course it's "easy to imagine waking up to Robby" when you're in a resort hotel with room service. Know what happens when you're married? You start out being a great wife and getting up at 5 to make your husband's breakfast and then turn into a deadbeat who sleeps in. Sorry from me, Jordan Scott. Sorry from JoJo, winner of this show Jordan Rodgers. 
• I feel like a youth minister saying this, but the reason she has strong feelings for all these guys is just because she wants to bang them. Girlfriend is #inlust right now. 
• Also, no shade, Thailand, but this fantasy suite isn't very fantasy-esque. 

PART II - Jordan.

• Yep, that's exactly what I wear on a hike. 

• Could they not have told Jordan to wear a most substantial hiking shoe than knockoff Toms? 
• Fun fact: whenever people say "journey" on this show, that's because the producers have asked them to replace the word "show" with "journey." 
• If she kisses that guy in this temple, or if they make it some kind of montage about how badly they want to kiss each other, but can't, I'm going to stab my couch. 

• "Meeting my family was the last box to check. Because my family is the one that matters. Because I'm Jordan Rodgers. Oh, right, you have a family, too -- sorry." 
• The common thread in all of the guys who are left is that they are very full of themselves. Oh, and that they have exactly the same haircut. 
• Honestly she should sleep with these guys immediately upon seeing them for the date, then spend the rest of the time talking. It's like she can't function properly when there's sexual tension. Get rid of it and move on. 
• "The biggest moment is talking to the dad." - A guy who has clearly never proposed or talked about proposing. 'Cause I think most men would agree that the biggest moment is WHEN YOU PROPOSE.

• Sorry, what does Jordan do for a living? He's not a QB anymore, so why is his travel schedule a problem? What does he do, sell vacuum cleaners on the road? 
• This is how I know she's not really that serious about Robby - when Robby keeps telling her he loves her, she just says thank you and grins. With Jordan, she presses him. Robby is just a safety choice.

• Is anyone else asleep at this point? 
• Serious question: do you think the reason they don't have these guys living together from here forward is because they don't tell the guys what order they're going in? Like, I bet these guys wouldn't agree to being "second" or "third" on the sex list. 
• Is it too far to say that she is the worst Bachelorette in recent history? I'm just SO uninvested in her happiness and think her judgment is about as rock solid as this election cycle. That is to say it is NOT SOLID AT ALL. 
• Wait. 
• I'm sorry.
• ...haven't we heard her say this EXACT line already? 
• And this EXACT scene?!?! 
• Allow me to deliver a side-by-side play-by-play: 

• THIS IS THE SAME FREAKING SETUP FOR BOTH DATES. Did they think we wouldn't notice?? Oh, we noticed. We NOTICED. 
• Is it obvious yet how little ABC cares about this season? Because if it isn't, it should be. 
• I quit. 

PART III - Chase.

• That's because it's not possible. Loving three people at once is not a thing. 
• Also whatcha wearin', Joje? 
• Honest to God can't believe the haircuts. It really is just comedy gold. 
• Yeah I bet those Thai fisherman loved these two white assholes showing up and kissing their fish.

• #disrespectful
• I'm also like not even being shy about my dislike for her at this point. 

• Monkeys and fishermen, saltwater and fish. 
• He's got a cute little charm going on this episode. I have also NEVER heard him talk this much. Was he part mute before hometowns?? 
• She does a lot of hair-grabbing in her makeouts. Maybe that's what I think is so pornographic about her. 
• I can't believe I'm saying this, but Chase, the most boring guy here, is my new favorite. 

• Then this weirdo shit happens. 

• "I came by to visit and just check in with you before you do this other guy." 
• Robby officially just ventured into stalker territory. It just happened. I watched. So did you. It's a subtle change, people, but watch her face: 

• She is just not feelin' it. 
• "Country clubs and coloring books." Oh good GRIEF this guy is so cheesy. *chanting* Throw him back! Throw him back! 
• "I love Jordan and I love Robby and I can see myself falling in love with Chase." 
• ...do you think she knows that "love" and "boinked" mean different things? 
• That's called "oxytocin." That's science, Joelle. Not "chemistry."

• Wait, she's not wearing that black dress to dinner? So she went back to her room and changed from her bikini, then into that black dress with a totally different hairstyle, then into her date outfit with hair down? So was not surprised at all that Robby was coming over. That was all planned. Okay. Got it. 
• I just really like Chase now. Why? That probably means he's going home. 

• Another guy who is too good for this show. Who knew? Who knew Robby was a curveball? 

• KNEW IT KNEW IT
• SHE'S GONNA DUMP HIM
• Because she is brainless
• Because she is awful
• She is going to keep the TWO WORST GUYS HERE
• Unreal. 
• It's amazing, like a machine - she sends home the classy, smart, stand-up guys and keeps the egomaniacal, slimy, simpletons. 
• This is the THIRD time someone has said, "I love you," and she's IMMEDIATELY dumped them. Lil' Tyke Alex, Snake, and now Chase. Each time she's claiming that when they said those words, she didn't feel what she should.
  
  You know what? One time, someone offered me a raw oyster. And I politely declined, because I don't have to eat that slimy, boogery shit to know I'M NOT GONNA LIKE IT. I didn't eat it, chew it up, then vomit it back onto the offerer. Similarly, JoJo, you shouldn't have to hear them tell you they love you to imagine that you probably don't reciprocate those feelings. 
• This poor guy has all these daddy issues and is all blocked up and he finally opens up and you SLAUGHTER him. 

• TELL 'ER, CHASE!! 
• GOOD FOR YOU!
• LAY IT OUT!!  
• I'm so glad she's getting it handed to her right now - she deserves this. This is unreasonable behavior from her. 
• Please stop crying, JoJo. I'm so over you. I'm speaking for America. We, collectively, are over you. 

ARE
YOU
KIDDING
ME

• She literally just told him that if she'd met him without knowing that there was something better out there, she could've been really happy settling for him. 
• She's done this twice THIS episode - delivered the boom, then made the guys comfort her.
• Y'all, is anyone else as riled up as I am? 
• He tried to stand up and say goodbye to her but she kept standing there sobbing so he had to walk away. 
• The more she talks, the worse it gets. It's like trying to explain why it stinks in a room. Stop saying you didn't toot. You tooted. The more you say it smells like a toot, the worse this gets for you. 
• Chase does something I haven't seen any other guy do: opens a beer and starts getting wasted. And I got nothin' but respect for ya, buddy. 

PART IV: Rose ceremony.

• Why are all of Jordan's clothes way too tight? Look at those pants. Too short and too tight. 

• Chase shows up, which I hate, because I really wanted the last shot of him to be him getting drunk in the van on the way home. 
• ALL I WANT in this life is a picture of these three guys, in the same color shirt, roughly the same height, with exactly the same haircut, all standing right next to each other. Please, ABC. Give it to me. 
• Once again, we get proof that she's trashing a lot of really quality guys. What kind of guy comes back to say that he's sorry for the way he acted when he was ruthlessly dumped on national TV? 

• Class. Freakin'. Act. 

• Well according to you, it's because you didn't have sex with him. Because those things are equivalent in your mind. 
• Somebody get this girl a Pedialyte. She's got to be so dehydrated from crying for two straight hours. 
• IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME HAIR, PEOPLE. I don't care if I'm repeating myself. They're repeating THEMselves. 

• Blah blah everyone gets a rose. I couldn't be rolling my eyes harder. 
• Best part about this entire episode was that monkey montage at the end. 
• Here's a GIF of Pizza Rat to cleanse our palettes. Because we deserve it.  

Monkeys and fisherman, saltwater and fish. 

See you next week, if I don't stab out my eyes before then. 

Bar Necklaces - Come and Get 'Em!

I have had so many people ask about where I got my own necklace - not to mention inquire about the necklaces that I shared on Facebook recently - that I thought I'd just open the floodgates and start ordering these beautiful pieces en masse. 

Ginny and Shelton are wearing the large, gold bars with their wedding dates engraved. 

I have two pieces of jewelry that people ask me about every time I wear them: one is a big purple ring made of a geode, and the other is this necklace. 

Sweet Brittany is wearing a long gold necklace with precious baby Amelia's birthday (Amelia's name is engraved on the back!). 

I wear mine almost every single day and truly get asked about it all the time. It's just one of those perfect, small pieces of jewelry that goes with every outfit and also has sentimental value - how can you beat that? 

I thought I'd share some of the ways I've used these as gifts to get your creative juices flowing: 

• Obviously, the wedding date in Roman numerals (like mine). This one I've used over and over as an engagement gift for my best girlfriends. 
• Roman numerals featuring a new baby's birthday. In some cases, I've had the baby's name engraved on the back of the necklace as a special touch. 
• A small bar (I have the "large" size) featuring the person's lowercase initial. 
• A small bar featuring sorority letters. 
• A large bar featuring coordinates of a special location (for example, the exact place a person got engaged or married, or the person's new hometown if they're moving). 
• A large bar featuring someone's full name either in script or in regular case. 
• Two large bars - one reading "Big" and one reading "Little" for sorority big/little reveals. 
• ...possibilities are kind of endless. It's really customizable and pretty fun to play with ideas. 

There are two sizes (large and small) and two colors (gold and silver). Longer ones are better for dates, full names, and coordinates, while shorter ones are better for initials and sorority letters. Large necklaces (like the ones featured in the photos above) are $40, and small necklaces are $35. 

I've bought a couple of these from Etsy, and while they're definitely a little less expensive, they also turned my neck green. These necklaces are sterling silver (or gold over sterling, if you have a gold one), so there's no risk of you having Hulk-neck. Wouldn't do that to ya. 

Hopefully this will help cut out the middle man for anyone who has seen these necklaces floating around and thought, "I love that! Where'd you get it?" 

Interested in placing an order? Shoot me an e-mail! mcmcannally@gmail.com. 

Have a FANTASTIC weekend - sending lots of love your way! 

A Kale Salad You'll Actually Like.

I did not subscribe to the kale craze. I don't get it. It's a vegetable. I mean, I get it, it's supposed to be super good for you, blah blah blah. But there wasn't a dish that featured kale that I had tried and liked. It's kind of bitter and weird. Why were people so obsessed with it? (Probably because kale has a publicist. No, that's not a joke.)

Then, while visiting Jordan's family, I ate this salad. We lovingly refer to it as "Missy's Kale Salad," because Jordan's aunt Missy is the queen of this recipe. It's often one of a few healthy foods served in a sea of ribs and mashed potatoes, so it usually gets gobbled up. 

It's not a complicated recipe - the only thing that takes a second is de-coring the brussels. 

What's so great about it? 

• It lends itself to large portions, so I make a double serving and we use it as our salad with dinner for the week.
• It's insanely healthy, obviously. 
• The lemon/mustard/garlic combo in the dressing is so delicious and tangy - really gives it a nice "bite;" the almonds are buttery and give it a great texture; and the pecorino is the perfect topping. 

(To make this recipe Whole30 approved, remove the cheese and make sure the mustard is sugar-free. It's compliant otherwise!) 

A note: I was out of Dijon mustard (I only had yellow), so the ground mustard was just a substitute for this photo because it's prettier. I didn't actually use it! Hehe! 

Ingredients: 
The salad:
1 bunch of kale (usually 5-6 large sprigs) de-stemmed and rough chopped
8-10 brussels sprouts, de-cored and rough chopped. 
1 cup pecorino cheese
1/2 cup slivered almonds
Salt and pepper to taste

The dressing: 
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice (about one lemon's worth)
2 T Dijon mustard
1 minced garlic clove
1/4 cup olive oil

1. Wash your kale carefully and set it aside. 

2. Begin de-coring your brussels. The way that I do this is: take the outer leaves off, cut the brussels sprout in half, then de-core it by carefully cutting out the hard, white center. After it's de-cored, I add it to the pile and give all those yummy brussels a good rough chop. 

3. Now, for the dressing. This is a "dump" dressing - you can toss all the ingredients in a bowl at once and whisk them together. (Sorry there's not a whisked photo attached. Ha!) 

4. Spread your slivered almonds out on a sheet of foil. You can toast them however you like - I like to use the toaster over so that I can monitor them (others broil them in the oven or toast them in olive oil on the stovetop). Almonds burn very easily, so whatever your method, be vigilant! 

5. Almost done! Mix your veggies together, toss them in dressing, add the almonds and cheese, and voila! 

Super simple and VERY yummy. A crowd-pleaser for sure - even for people say they don't like kale. I was one of those people. I am now a kale fan. What happened to my life? 

Happy eating! 

Week 7.

Oh, HOMETOWNS. 

There's not a single week on this show that I love more. Hometowns tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about a person. As someone who loves using my exactly 0 amount of professional training to analyze others, it's like a 2-hour marathon of pop psychology. Nothing beats it. 

Here's what I think we're going to discover in this episode: 

1. Jordan is sucky and so is his family. 
2. Robby is a bumpkin and that's why he's so over-groomed - he never had anyone teach him how. 
3. Chase is a totally boring chump and probably has a perfectly nice family 
4. Luke is going to continue to look super attractive, manly, and grounded, and pribbably has a great family. 

PART I - CHASE (aka "WHO?")

• Good. Let's get this date out of the way. 
• Of course it's in the snow. Everything about this date is WHITE.

• Wait - how did they just go from wearing heavy winter coats to NO coats at all?? ...is this a set?? Why aren't they cold? 

• Chase's Douche Beard. It needs its own Twitter account. 

• Men of Earth: if this blog has served no other purpose, let it serve the purpose now of teaching you that you NEVER shave your beard along your jawline. It's not cute. It's like wearing a sign that says, "I don't know how to take care of myself!" 
• Okay so Chase has a sad divorce story, blah blah blah.
• It's not that I'm unsympathetic, it's that this is just too normal for this show. In order to be successful, you have to have a GREAT family or a CRAZY family. No in-between. Half of America has the exact same backstory as Chase. 
• Sorry, HIS house or his PARENTS' house? Because this house is pimp if it's HIS house. 

• Always very interested in how men decorate their houses left to their own devices. Looks like Chase went with a Native American theme?

• Oh this is sick. They brought his dad back for a reunion with him and is appearing on this show? What? 

• I would NEVER touch a boyfriend in front of his parents the first time I met him. NEVER. That is the epitome of classless, in my opinion, to be physically affectionate the first time you meet a boyfriend's parents. This is so trashy. 

• I'll tell you what, if my future children come home with somebody who's touching all over them the first time they meet me?? HELL no. I will keep a bonesaw in the Junk Drawer and they'll leave my house with stumps if they touch my children. 

• And LOUNGING?? What is the matter with this girl?! Sit up straight, Joelle. Respect your elders. 
• So you're telling me this guy, who hasn't visited with his own daddy in what seems like at least months if not years, is now telling said estranged parent that he's gonna marry this girl? After he and his dad have a conversation about the way his dad ruined his life? And he's only known this chick for like 8 weeks? 
• Right. 

• WHAT
• ARE YOU JOKING
• THE JUST KISSED IN FRONT OF HIS DAD
• WHAT THE ACTUAL
• THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
• WHERE ARE MY SOUTHERN GIRLS ON THIS I AM OUTRAGED 

...I have to go get some ice cream. 

I'm back. That one really took a lot out of me, you guys. 

• When parents are not openly skeptical of this show, it makes me judge them. If your son or daughter brought home a contestant he met on a TV show and then told you they were probably gonna go ahead and just marry them, you'd freak out/be really judgmental.
• "I can tell you know how to have fun" = "I have seen this GIF of your mom." 

• Oh snap the sister is for sure judging. There you go. Somebody in this family needs to. 
• "Thank you for this experience." = "This show is stupid and so are you."

• Ugh I really like this mom in spite of myself. Damn it. 
• WHAT?! Holy shit. I like Chase. 

• I hate being wrong about people. 
• I better be right about Jordan freakin' Rodgers. 
• So Chase and Snake. Okay. Although I will say, I really disliked Chase for a while because he really was not nice to some of the guys. So I can't be totally off-base. 
• Anyway. 

*commercial break* 

• I just saw a preview for a movie in which Academy Award Winner Kevin Spacey is providing the voice in a movie about dad who turns into a cat. We really need a time-out as a species. 
• This meme says it all: 

ART II : Jordan (ugh).

• How many phone calls do you think it took for Jordan and JoJo to coordinate outfits? 

• It always amazes me how many of these guys still have parents who still live in the house they grew up in. I feel like that's PRETTY unusual?
• This campus looks like the campus of the high school in Easy A. Is it? 

• Okay it's not but it looks like it. 
• Of course this date is All About Jordan. Of course it is. For someone who doesn't want us to think he has an inferiority complex, this guy is doing a great job of acting like he has a lot to prove.
• His Spanish teacher clarified that, "He is one of my favorites" instead of, "He is my favorite." Telling. Telling. 

• Honestly, this guy is obsessed with himself. I knew I wasn't wrong about freakin' Jordan Rodgers. 
• Oh, please. Stop acting like we caught you off guard. You brought the cameras in here specifically for this reason. At least JoJo knows you're being kind of desperate. 

• Okay, so let's just talk about it: What happened with Aaron? This is the internet's theory is that Olivia Munn, girlfriend of Aaron Rodgers and famous actress, set Jordan up with his ex-girlfriend (and her close friend), Brittany. Brittany is the same ex-girlfriend who told JoJo a few episodes back that Jordan cheated on her. So it looks like there's some bad blood between not only Jordan and Brittany, but Jordan and Olivia/Aaron as a result. 
• ...I can't believe I know this information. Someone lobotomize me. 
• So right away, JoJo brings Aaron up: 

• ...virtually a guarantee it's going to come up anyway. 
• Truly can't believe she finds him attractive. I have no respect for this guy. 
• Stop trying to make Jordan Rodgers happen. He's never going to happen. 
• I predict a crazy mom. Anyone wanna take that bet? 
• Y'all. This story about Jordan Rodgers wanting to run away and the fact that his family didn't give a shit and literally TOLD him to run away is everything. you need. to know. about Jordan.

• Slash, the image of Jordan standing at the property line and looking dramatically over his shoulder is VERY: 

• Also, did anyone else hear this? His dad just dropped into conversation that Jordan kicked his teacher...

• So like, JoJo was definitely told by Jordan specifically NOT to address the Aaron situation and straight up did it anyway. 

• The brother and Jordan having the same haircut is so completely insane to me. 
• The decorating in this house and the other house are both extremely interesting. 
• I really think she's going to pick him, and I really think they deserve each other. 
• So...did anyone else get the vibe that the Rodgers are hardcore Christians? Because I did. 
• UPDATE: I've just found out that there's also a rumor floating around that the Rodgers have disowned Aaron because Aaron is gay. So, you know. There's that. 

PART III - Robby. 

• Robby is SO getting dropped this week. I haven't even seen a second of his date and I already know it. 
• This place looks like Clearwater, Florida, which is the home of Scientology, which should make us all very suspicious. 

• You're excited to see him because he's your gay best friend. 

• Okay so before I had a dog, I never cared about horses, but now every time I see a horse-drawn carriage, all I can think about is how those poor horses are probably overworked. We had a hard time in Charleston because on one hand it was our anniversary trip, but on the other hand, I felt the compelling need to stop and talk to each carriage driver about how the horses were treated. I was basically a dream date for Jordan. Thank God he was already married to me because he probably would've been like, "You're crazy, I'm out." 
• SHARKS!!

• ...oh. 
• He keeps talking about loving her in order to get her to say it back. Seriously. 
• The count is up to 4. He's said, "I love you," four times in this segment. Find your chill, Robert. 
• Why does she look like a totally different person in this scene? Invasion of the body snatchers. 

•  ...dude. Seriously. Reel it in. 
• "I don't see how things could go wrong." Famous last words. 
• Um, did they hit the gift shop on the way home?? GEEZ.

• ait a minute - did he just call his own father "Coach Hayes??" 

• ...that's really weird. 
• Y'all JoJo is SO tiny. She doesn't even come up over the top of a chair! She's a miniature person!

• I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. These seem like perfectly nice, perfectly boring folks. I like the mom. The brothers have the cumulative IQ of exactly one stick of butter. 

• Do you think Robby MIGHT be prone to exaggeration? 
• Need to just update you. Didn't even know Jordan Scott was near this room. He just heard Robby say all that about not getting sleep and said while passing through the room, "Closers ALWAYS sleep well before the big game. That guy is shakin' in his boots. He's not gonna make it." 
• ..."Closers always sleep well??" Who ARE you?! Who am I married to? 
• Also we need to talk about these glasses: 

• Is it a wine glass? Is it a tumbler? 
• Okay so anyway Robby's mom is all, "I really like JoJo but by the way your reputation is basically being ruined," and he's all, "UGH MOM I CAN'T HANDLE THIS," and then JoJo's all like, "These were my worst fears!" and then Robby's all, "NO you have to believe me I LOVE YOU AND I'M NOT AT ALL PRONE TO EXAGGERATION!" 
• Some quick observations from these scenes, the plot of which I obviously do not care about: 
   
•  I love that Chad (yes, that Chad) is dating Robby's ex-girlfriend. HAHAHA it's so brilliant. I love Chad. 

Ruthless. 

•  You should win a million dollars on this show if you can work "I'm not here for the right reasons" into conversation naturally. I think it should be like the secret word on Watch What Happens Live! 
• Better yet: it's now a drinking game. Take a shot if it ever happens again. I can't find the screengrab, but he said it twice. 
• Random, but - I can never have serious conversations with ANYone at that level of facial closeness. Seriously, I have to be across the room (or at least the table) from someone to have a real talk. 

• Anyway, blah blah I'm asleep. She's not picking Robby let's move on. 

PART IV - Snake. AKA, the only acceptable choice. 

• So I'm gonna go ahead and put money down that she picks Jordan and that Snake is the next Bachelor. At least, let's hope that's what happens. Snake is QUITE attractive. 
• Mmk they look like they're going to a fraternity mixer themed "Squardance." 

• Jordan Scott just did some more drive-by commentary. He let me know that he, "Finds this guy untrustworthy." Okay, well, you don't know what you're talking about, so just keep walkin'. 
• Seriously, if she doesn't pick Snake (and she won't) then she is such a dumb dumb. 
• STOP KISSING IN FRONT OF THE PARENTS. 

• Seriously though who brought her up to act like this? 

• Oh yeah. Right. 
• Snake's sister is beautiful. 
• I love this dad. Such a sweetheart. Reminds me of a lot of great, sweet men I know. Snake, PLEASE run away. You're gonna get your heart broken. 
• Are you KIDDING ME THE SPEECH ABOUT HIM SERVING HIS COUNTRY AND CRYING?!?!?!?! OH MY GOSH

• This show is bullshit, but that was actually a completely precious and tender moment. Luke's family is fantastic. Y'all. Who do we know that can marry Snake?! He deserves someone who is not on a reality show. 
• Y'all, here is an extremely good looking war veteran who is also in touch with his sensitive side AND lives on a farm with a precious family. 
• ...this is a robot sent here from aliens. This isn't a real human man. 
• You know the producers are just crying tears of joy right now with two beautiful people in golden light on a ranch. This is like visual porn. 

• "I want us?" Are you kidding me?!? Are you KIDDING ME?!
• Okay this show is over. He just delivered the kill shot. He LED HER TO HIS HEART
  AMONG FLOWER PETALS
  AND PLAYED A LOVE SONG (and he actually played it, not the show)
  AND TOLD HER HE LOVED HER

• Their exit seemed rushed. Why isn't she falling all over him? Why isn't she so happy and just overwhelmed? If she dumps him after that I am going to burn down my own house. 

• IF I SEE ONE MORE TRAILER FOR LIGHTS OUT I SWEAR TO THE LORD ALMIGHTY SOMEONE IS GONNA GET SUED 

PART V - ROSE CEREMONY. 

• Jordan's stuit is, once again, too small. 

• That's right, Robert. Take a good hard around. You're going home. 
• I seriously feel like she had some kind of plastic surgery procedure between weeks of this show. Something looks different. 

• SAY GOODBYE TO LUKE
• WHAT 
• ARE YOU SAYING
• WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
• ARE YOU KIDDING ME
• ARE YOU MENTALLY ILL
• GO HOME
• YOU 
• ARE DRUNK
• Okay here comes Luke to talk to her.
• He's clarifying that he's IN love with her. 

• I'm sorry, was that not made perfectly clear by the HEART MADE OUT OF FLOWER PETALS?!?!?! 
• The fact that she wasn going to send him home because he had not verbalized the specific words, "I love you," is the dumbest thing I've ever heard and once again reinforces that she deserves to be with someone who is not Luke (aka someone who sucks). 
• This is gonna be a to be continued isn't it? 
• ISN'T IT?!

• DAMN YOU, CHRIS HARRISON!! 
• I hope JoJo has to sit in that exact position until next week. She deserves it after even CONSIDERING sending Snake home. 

This season, you guys. I can't decide who I dislike more - Jordan, Evan, or JoJo. 

'Til next week.