Kids' Movies as an Adult: Rikki Tikki Tavi

Recently, Jordan said something that sounded like he was saying "Toot Sweets." If you were a musical theater loving child like me, you would have (as I did) broken into the song "Toot Sweets," from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. If you're a musical theater loving person married to a person who is bewildered by musical theater, you can imagine Jordan's completely confused reaction. 

So I played him this video, which then sent us down a rabbit hole of all things Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. 

You guys, that move is TERRIFYING. What the actual hell. 

SO, an idea was born: what if I started a series, similar to Bachelor recaps, complete with screenshots, of children's movies that are totally inappropriate/super scary to watch as an adult?

And what if we started with Rikki Tikki Tavi?  

Rikki Tikki Tavi
Or, The movie your 7th grade English teacher played when a substitute came.

If you haven't had the pleasure, this movie is on YouTube here. It's only about 23 minutes, but it's 23 minutes of film that will seep straight into your brain stem and never leave. I could probably review this movie without re-watching, although I'm definitely going to re-watch it. Right now. 

Okay.

First of all, none of the human characters have pupils, which is just pretty damn upsetting right out of the gate. 

I do not like that. 

This little British (except for the son, who has a very suspicious American accent) family, living in India, rescues our hero Rikki Tikki Tavi from drowning in a big storm. By the way, the narration that runs through this movie is bone-chilling. The guy who's talking sounds like a mixture of Slugworth from Willy Wonka and Ernest Hemingway's ghost. 

We are then introduced to RTT's incredibly fast-moving ways, where he turns into a big long blob and then materializes at his destination. 

Fast little bugger, isn't he? Rikki is very winning. He's voiced by somebody who sounds very handsome and also sounds like Greg Kinnear. I am now going to IMDB and see whether I'm right.

Some fellow named Shep Menken. 

ORSON WELLS IS THE NARRATOR?! OH MY GOSH I really nailed it on the Hemingway's ghost thing.  

...why is his index finger black?? 

...why is his index finger black?? 

Anyway, sorry about that. Google is a dangerous place. 

So. Back to the story. 

RTT basically cozies up to this family who adores him. He even gets to sleep in bed with Teddy, the kid. The mom is not wild about this for obvious reasons (RABIES AND OTHER DISEASES), but the dad is all, "Stop being a hysterical woman and let this rat sleep on our kid's head. GOD CAROL YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC." 

Her name is not actually Carol.

RTT goes out in this family's extensive garden, because they are obviously #rich. I, as an adult, am extremely jealous of this very spacious house with all this square footage. Kids just don't appreciate that sort of thing. 

RTT goes out to make some friends and meets a bird couple who seem distressed for some reason. They explain that one of their babies fell out of the nest yesterday and got eaten by Nag. Just as Rikki asks who Nag is, we get introduced to this horrible thing, who speaks only in whispers. 

You really need to watch this part of the movie to get the full effect, including the freaky ass music the play and the whispering snake. It really is truly so disturbing. 

RTT freaks out for a moment, then remembers that he eats snakes for lunch (literally), so he starts to feel himself a little more. 

Go, Rikki, go, Rikki! 

Before long, Nag's nasty wife Nagaina (who is equally, if not more, terrifying than her spouse) tries to shank RTT from behind. Thankfully, the lady bird warns him in enough time for him to jump and escape sudden snake death. But now, Nagaina is PISSED. 

Rikki takes a little jaunt around the garden to figure out what to do about this cobra problem, and Teddy runs out to meet him, offering him a casual peanut from his pocket. But as soon as he holds it out, a snake rises up out of the dust and LITERALLY SAYS, "Be careful, I am death." 

Are you freaking kidding me. 

So yeah, this kid almost gets killed for what will not the only time in this movie, by the second-most venomous snake in the world: the Eastern brown snake (I looked it up). "I am death." Cool. Normal. In a kids' movie. 

Anyway, RTT just goes ahead and finishes this snake off, actually brushes his shoulders off and is like, "What, that? No big," much to the delight of the family. They're celebrating his bravery and hopefully lecturing their son about not just holding peanuts willy nilly in the damn yard. 

That night, Rikki patrols the house and meets the Chuchundra, the saddest bastard in all of India. 

Chuchundra is inexplicably crying and tells RTT to steer clear of the cobras. He also makes some weird veiled reference to something his rat cousin, Chua, told him, but we never figure out what that was. Real plot hole here, people.  

Rikki starts listening out for any danger, and thinks he hears the cobras in the house. The narrator describes this sound in the creepiest possible way if you're already imagining a snake slithering around: "The house was still, but he thought he could just catch the faintest scratch scratch in the world. A noise as faint as that of a wasp walking on a windowpane." 

HELL no.

RTT identifies this sound as the cobras slithering into one of the (many) bathrooms of the house. 

I'd like to pause here and tell you a quick story, if you'll allow it. 

A coworker told me a story recently about her fiancé, who was out mowing the lawn in Asheville one day and encountered a black snake that was about 5' long. (Are you freaking out yet?) 

He immediately left the lawn mower and went inside to shower the heebie jeebies off him. When he opened the shower door, the snake was CURLED UP ON HIS BATHMAT AT THE FOOT OF THE SHOWER. YES. THIS IS A REAL STORY. 

It had followed him inside. Real life. He left the screen door open. He had to JUMP OVER IT to get out of the bathroom and by the time he'd gotten someone to come and get it out, it had crawled up the wall of his bathroom and situated itself around the top of the shower. 

"But Mary Catherine, black snakes aren't pois --" I DON'T CARE IT'S THE SCARIEST STORY EVER. 

Now that we all have ants in our freakin' pants, let's return to the dead of night in India. 

Nag and Nagaina post up outside the house with a plot to murder the entire family in order to rid the house of people, and, by default, snake-killing mongooses. They're worried their brood of babies will be murdered by RTT if he lives. No people = no mongoose. 

Nag hatches a plan to curl up at the base of a giant vase and bite the dad when he comes in to take a bath the next morning. 

RTT knows it's dangerous, but he goes for it anyway. He and Nag scrap and scuffle, but in the end, the victory is RTT's. I wish I could describe to you the absolutely PAINFUL sensation of having your entire body covered in goosebumps at watching a fictional vermin and snake fight on your computer. Moongoosebumps. (Had to.) 

By the way, that last frame is how the movie communicates to us that Nag is dead. It's like a gang sign. BOOM. There's also a weird swell of the horn section at this part. I'm telling you, just go watch this movie. I feel like there's a snake somewhere in my house right now. 

So RTT, fresh off his victory, but not cocky enough to forget he's got another snake to settle with, peruses the garden the next morning. The male bird starts singing RTT a song he's written for him, but Rikki has no time for this foolishness. 

After the entirety of this original song, the bird finally helps RTT out and lets him know Nagaina is mourning Nag on the trash pile. Rikki is more concerned with destroying her eggs, so he forms a secret plan with the dumb bird's smart bird wife (man, Rudyard Kipling really believed in the sharp female spouses of the dumb male counterparts, didn't he?). 

Sensible female bird goes off to distract Nagaina by pretending her wing is broken. Nagaina pursues her because she was the one who kept Rikki from getting smoked early in the story by warning him of Nagaina's attack. 

"Indeed and truly, you've chosen a bad place to be lame in." Nagaina is SERIOUSLY hateful. 

Meanwhile, RTT is already in the melon bed making scrambled cobra eggs - all except one, which he steals to bait Nagaina.

Y'all seriously though, chillbumps watching this. Nagaina, knowing that revenge on a bird < revenge on the humans, who she *thinks* killed Nag. Bird Wife warns RTT, who goes running at the speed of sound, to find this HORRIFYING SCENE GOOD GOD. 

RTT temps Nagaina to fight him with the egg he stole. 

So she does. 

RTT chases Nagaina through the garden and eventually catches hold of her tail, but she pulls him down into her snake hole and we lose sight of him.

At this point, the bird, who like 2 minutes ago was celebrating Rikki as a hero, actually says out loud, "It's all over for Rikki. We must sing his death song." 

AND THEN HE DOES. 

Maybe this bird needs to learn a little something about jumping to conclusions. If I was his wife, I would be shaking my damn head. 

Actually bowing her head in shame, bless her heart.&nbsp;

Actually bowing her head in shame, bless her heart. 

But what's that noise? RIKKI EMERGES VICTORIOUS!! 

Aaaaaaaand that bird is back to singing. I mean I'm talking something happens and seconds later this bird is singing a really presumptuous song about it. 

Rikki goes back to sleeping with Teddy and protecting the house, so that no snake "dares show its head inside the garden walls." 

INAPPROPRIATENESS FOR CHILDREN:  

Not inappropriate. Really fairly kid-friendly.

 
OVERALL SCARINESS: 

I don't care how comfortable you are with snakes - the music paired with the whispering cobras paired with the creepy imagery and scuttling sounds snakes make?! NO. I dare you to watch this movie free of goosebumps. 

Okay, pals. 'Til next time.  

Review: Pure Barre

This is my first Tuesday morning not waking up at the crack of dawn to write a Bach-cap in 9 weeks. RIP Bachelor Ben. Hope you and The Bee are having a grand old time. 

Despite my sadness at not having a Bachelor episode to review, I'm up. I'm coffee-d. I'm ready to review my experience yesterday. 

Pure Barre. 

Dun dun dun. 

Boy Meets World, anyone?&nbsp;

Boy Meets World, anyone? 

Only joking. I actually had a really good time! I had some concerns going in, so I thought I'd tell you what my hesitations were initially vs. how I ended the class feeling. 

Concern: I don't have the right thing to wear. 
This may seem shallow, but to me, Pure Barre has always seemed like the "cool girl" workout class. There's a lingo and a dress code that everyone seems to intrinsically know before going. I had seen pictures of women in Pure Barre workout clothes, and most of them had on some version of long, dark pants and a tank top. I was worried that I would look weird in what I had on (Lululemon High Times pants and a Nike racerback workout top), but that ended up being just fine. The reality is that once you begin the class, you're way too worried about staying alive to look around the room at outfits. 

I bought the "sticky socks" there, and I really did feel like I fit in. The major thing they want you to do is cover your legs and midriff so that your whole body stays warm throughout the workout.  

Concern: I'm not a ballerina.
A few months ago, I had a terrible experience at a yoga studio here in Asheville. I have a yoga background (not a crazy-intense one, but enough), so I was surprised when the instructor introduced a move I'd not only never seen, but never heard of. When I attempted it, she walked over to me and LOUDLY corrected my posture. Then, when I recoiled a little at being called out in front of the entire class, she said, "Well, if you can't laugh at your own mistakes, you have bigger problems." 

...so basically what I'm saying is that I wanted the floor to swallow me whole. 

Needless to say, I was a little skeptical of group classes after that horror of an experience. 

When I walked in yesterday, I was very nervous that I'd be super behind (and that I also may or may not be publicly shamed for it). I didn't grow up dancing, so the concept of barre is really 100% new to me. 

Thankfully, right when I got there, the instructor (Christina) welcomed me, walked me through all the gear, and explained the terminology she would use. Once the class started, she shouted me out on the mic (Haaaaay!) and encouraged me the whole class. She did correct some of my movements, which I found really helpful since, as I mentioned, I'm about as comfortable at the barre as I am skydiving. But when she corrected me, it was quietly, with a smile, and she always found something to praise me for later. I'm a sucker for a compliment sandwich! 

Concern: It's going to be too challenging.
Everyone I know who's ever taken a barre class (including Jordan, who took one when they had a "Bring On The Men" class and he was DATING A PURE BARRE TEACHER. I know. Holy inferiority complex, you guys. It's cool, I have other talents.) has said that it is extremely difficult. 

The concept of barre is that you're making tiny movements, as opposed to big sweeping exercises or pounding a treadmill. The theory is that by working muscle groups in very focused, intentional ways, either using your own body weight or very light hand weights (like 1 - 2 lbs.), you'll not only strengthen, but you'll get long, lean muscles. 

I will admit, the class was very fast-paced. Once it got started, it was a non-stop 55 minute ride. The instructor uses a Britney Spears mic to talk through the movements and to be heard over the pop music that's pumping through the studio. The class advertises that your "personal life will melt away," and it definitely did. 

While in the beginning it seemed like I was the only one who wasn't sure what was going on, before long I realized that every class is different, so all the women there were picking up the moves along with me. 

The class is broken into four parts, with a warm-up and a cool-down at the either end: arms, "seat" (meaning your butt), thighs, and abs. I found the arms and the seat sections to be the most challenging - the arms because there was a lot of tricep work, which I don't normally do, and the seat because there was a lot of side-butt/hip work, which, again, is not part of my workout normally. Lately, I've been doing cardio 3-4 times a week in an online workout class, so I'm not out of shape, but I'm certainly not in THAT kind of shape. I definitely "found my shake" as Pure Barre likes to say, which means holding a position that makes your muscles tremble. 

This morning? The soreness. Is. Real. 

I'm hobbling around my house with new muscle groups that are sore springing to life with every movement: triceps screaming when I reach for the coffee, side body aching when I try to pick something up, butt and thighs on fire when I sit down or stand up. 

But this tells me that I got a killer workout yesterday. So I'm all for it. 

Concern: This is expensive.
Well, sorry to say, this one is just true. 

Right now, I'm in the middle of a new member package in which I get a month of unlimited classes at $100. I'm taking 4 this week, then I'll set my schedule for next week. 

As far as normal memberships go, the classes only get more expensive from there. If I continue with barre, it'll definitely be something Jordan and I would have to budget for. But, as my friend Meredith says, "Money is a tool." Where you put your money should be a reflection of where your priorities are, and one of my priorities is definitely living a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Healthy meaning I take care of myself and balanced meaning I ate a package of Cadbury Mini Eggs last night for dessert. 

...that's what healthy and balanced means, right? 

So. In summary, I will admit, Pure Barre is a little bit on the pricier side of the workout classes I've done. But I also have to acknowledge that they're on to something, and I am really hooked. As a (very slow) runner, I appreciate that Pure Barre is zero-impact on my joints, but that I still feel like I got an incredibly intense workout when I left. I think a huge part of my good experience was my teacher, and I'm rotating through a few teachers this week. Hopefully all of them will be as encouraging and awesome as Christina! 

Have you guys tried it? I'm very curious about what other people's experiences are. 

Gonna go pop some Advil and stare at my newly sculpted arms. 

DNR - JTI.

As always, credit where it's due to Mollie Erickson who invented DNR - JTI on her much funnier blog, found here. 

Dear Mother Nature, 
I feel like I've been pretty cool about this whole "real winter" thing you do in the mountains. I've lived with 3 or 4 months of totally grey skies and not complained too much. But you gave me spring, girl. Ya gave me SPRING. Flowers and warm weather and meals on the front porch. I put all our sweaters into a giant trunk. And then the temperature dropped 30 degrees. There were actually snowflakes yesterday. NOT COOL. Get right. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Ladies at Pure Barre,
I'm coming to see you today for the first time, and I'm really nervous. I don't know how to "tuck." I don't have barre clothes. I do not have a ballerina body. Please go easy on me and my big athletic thighs. I feel like it's the first day of middle school all over again. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Steven Spielberg,
Over the weekend, my husband suggested that we watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Now, I'm all for a classic movie, so I settled right in. Little did I know that this movie would drag on FOR THE LENGTH OF A BIBLE and only be compelling in the last 15 minutes. And don't even get me started on how Richard Dreyfuss just BAILS ON HIS FAMILY and joins the aliens. What the hell?! No. No, Steve. Swing and a miss. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Tom Hanks the Dog, 
You are seriously the best. Your ears are soft, you're fun to hang out with, and you seem to really like me. Your beard is such a people-pleaser. I freakin' love you so much. DNR - JTI. (But you wouldn't have responded anyway.) 

Dear Ninja Coffeemaker,
Thanks for turning me from a one-cup-a-day person into a four-cups-a-day person with your convenience and deliciousness. You really brighten my morning and, though I know the crash is coming, the caffeine high is so great while it lasts. Keep doing you. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Jordan,
I'm sorry we haven't had groceries in our house for the last few days. I convinced myself that I could cook meals out of scraps/whatever we had in our pantry, zombie apocalypse style. And yet, all we ended up doing was ordering out. It was wasteful, but you were really patient and a good sport about eating pizza last night. And today for lunch. In your lunchbox. Spoiler alert. I love you! DNR - JTI. 

 

5 Things: Life Lessons I've Learned from Gardening.

I am new to gardening. Ask my neighbors. 

Growing up, my grandmother Nonnie always kept a beautiful flower garden. Once we moved into their house and they moved up the road, the garden, unfortunately, became a little bit of a disaster area. 

In Jordan's and my house now, we have three tiers to our backyard; all three feature lovely landscaping, and two have raised beds. I decided that this was something I was going to take on. 

In the last three days or so, Jordan and I have had lots of "real life" things hit us between the eyes. Family members dealing with cancer diagnoses or surgeries, friends passing away from long-suffered illnesses - the kinds of things that always make us take a step back and look at life in a new way. At a certain point yesterday, amidst lots of this news pouring in, I felt the need to be outside for a while. So I started working in the garden, and because the "Big Questions" of life were weighing on my heart, I started realizing just how many parallels there are between gardening and life. 

1. For everything, there is a season. 

"This, too, shall pass." I remember hearing that quote for the first time and thinking, "...what??" But man, how true it is. Standing in this same spot in front of our house only a few months ago, everything around me was blanketed with over two feet of snow. And now, there isn't a trace of cold weather left - only beautiful blooms and signs of spring. The natural rhythm of the world - the growing, dying away, growing, dying away - is such a beautiful reminder that nothing physical is everlasting.

And it's hard to remember, while we're living in a specific season, that another one could ever happen. It was hard to believe, when I had snow up to my knees, that I would ever feel overheated again in the summer sunshine. But seasons change. It's an inevitability. 

Good times should be cherished and savored, bad times can be endured, and every opportunity should be seized, because we don't have forever to decide. It's just that simple.

2. In order for some things to grow, other things must be cut away. 

Pictured above is the peach tree we inherited when we moved into our house last July. I love peaches, and I was real happy to get to have fresh peaches as often as I wanted - peaches on top of my vanilla ice cream? Hello. Yes, please. Once the peaches came in, I remember walking out to the tree with a little basket to gather them, only to discover they were hard. As. Rocks. 

Seasoned gardeners will already know why this happened - it's because the former residents of our little cabin didn't prune the tree before spring. In order to grow full, juicy peaches, you have to crawl up in the tree and cut away most of the buds that are sprouting. Otherwise, the nutrients in the tree will be so split among all of the peach buds that none of the peaches will get enough, and none will grow to their potential. 

Good grief - that's an easy lesson, right? We can be anything we want, but we can't be everything we want. Things in life must be pruned away in order for other things to get the attention the deserve, so that we can grow to our full potential. Whether it's people, activities, habits, hobbies - there are some things that must be cut away so that other, more important things, get all they need to thrive. 

3. Good things are worth hard work. 

With the exception of the grace of God and the unconditional love of our families, there is no good thing in life that comes without hard work. When we moved into this house, the garden was overwhelming. The previous tenants didn't care for it at all, and so it had become wildly overgrown. Weeds were ruling the roost. 

As much as I feel like I've weeded, sprayed, rearranged, weeded, etc., weeds continue to persist every so often, and I find myself back on my hands and knees shoveling out the roots and piling the weeds to be thrown out. 

This is such a major lesson for me. If I'm being really honest and vulnerable, the truth is that there are a couple of things that have always come naturally to me. Because of that, early in my life, I was able to rest on the laurels of my natural abilities and didn't throw myself into working as hard as I could have. What a mistake that was. Not only did I cheat myself out of learning the value of work hard, but I also will never know what I could've achieved had I actually applied myself.  

Disciplining myself in order to achieve a goal is something I had to really learn, and it's a skill that I don't take for granted. Now, there is little in life that feels better to me than being disciplined - setting a goal and chipping away at it - and that is exactly what this garden project is to me. In order to keep a beautiful garden, I have to be constantly disciplined and attentive. And that's okay, because for me, this is something worth working hard on. 

I used to think: If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be.
But now I know: If at first you don't succeed, it's because you haven't earned it yet. Keep working hard. 

4. Don't jump to conclusions.

Two days ago, I was weeding around a little rock bed we have, and as I reached for the next clump of weeds, I saw a tiny bit of movement. That movement turned out to be the teeniest tiniest garter snake that I've ever seen. 

Having not encountered many snakes in the wild, and certainly not less than an inch away from my hand, I was very heebie-jeebied by this little fella. In my mind, this 5 inch (or less, really) snake was about to somehow Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger into an anaconda and eat me, my dog, and my entire house. 

So I used my snake safety (meaning I immediately fled). But first, I took pictures. After researching it from a safe distance, I discovered that garter snakes are non-venomous, and are actually helpful in a garden, because their diet consists of tiny bugs that can eat away at your plants! 

I'll give myself a little credit here, since snakes can definitely be scary, but the lesson still rings true: there are SO many examples of when jumping to conclusions is a bad idea. Sometimes things that to be appear scary aren't scary at all. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction is a bad one. Sometimes first impressions are flat-out wrong. 

Oh, to have the wisdom to remember that in the future. :) 

5. We are small, but we are special. 

I've heard people say that being out in nature makes them feel insignificant, and reminds them just how small they are compared to the big, wide world. 

And I get it. I know what they mean - when presented with the vastness and the scope of ALL OF NATURE, all of the universes and galaxies that surround our little tiny planet, it's very easy to feel like our lives are just vapors. Because we are small. Here today and gone tomorrow. That part is true. 

But I also think that each one of us is so special. Such a singular creation. In the same way that every flower in my garden is new, and fresh, and will never quite bloom the same way again, so are we, and so do we. 

Get ready for me to sound like one of those motivational posters in your 4th grade classroom. 

Every one of us is unique, like a fingerprint of our Creator, a perfect creation that has never been and will never be again. All living things have this in common. The gift of life is so precious - so fragile - and it demands that we plant our feet firmly and, with every breath, that we make good use of every daily jog, of every belly laugh, of every bolt of inspiration. 

Every flutter of our eyelashes. Each night as we finally crawl into bed. Every mundane lunch. All of it. It's all part of what's wrapped up in a life that can only be ours. Life is happening right now, every day, in every little action and every moment, for as long as we're on this planet. 

So we have to answer the question, "Who are you? What do you have to offer?" Some days, we might answer in whispers. Others, we might answer in a roar. But being alive means that every day, we are living into that answer We're only one person, and we're only here for a short while, but we're the only "us" there will ever be. 

So we have to bloom.

Myers Briggs Personality Test.

You. Guys. 

I need to confess something to you: I am obsessed with the Myers-Briggs personality test. If you've taken it, you probably have dabbled in obsession, too! If you haven't, get ready to have your mind blown. 

I love so many things about the Myers-Briggs test. The fact that it was invented by a mother-daughter team (shout out to my laaaaaadies), the fact that it exists to help organize "seemingly random behavior" into codes that allow the way individuals interact with the world to shine through. 

"But Mary Catherine, isn't this just some weird voodoo astrology where people just see a description and are like, 'THAT'S TOTALLY ME, OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY NAILED IT!'" 

No.

This test is extremely effective and used in businesses all over the world to help people better understand each other. The questions are designed to learn about you, not to pull some whack stuff together about how you were born in January so you must be stubborn and career-driven. 

Once you know what type you are, you can also research what celebrities match your type, what careers you would be best in, and some typical behaviors of yours in friendships, romantic relationships, and as a parent.

FASCINATING, right?! 

I love this test in particular because I lo-o-o-o-o-ve to deep-dive into people's personalities. I am obsessed with figuring out what makes people tick. It's the latent writer in me. I want to know your deepest, darkest, grizzliest, most interesting layers; I want to know why you said what you just said; what motivates you to get up every morning, etc. Love it. Can't get enough of it. (Freak.) 

In MB, there are four categories of personality, each with two options: 

1. Introvert v. Extrovert. This is probably the simplest one to diagnose. The easiest way to determine what you are is to ask yourself, "Where do I get my energy - from alone time or from groups? Do I like to focus on the world around me, or the world inside my head?" 

2. Intuitive v. Sensing. This category is a bit more nuanced. Here, you decide whether you're a person who likes to focus on and remember the bare-bones details around you, or if you're someone who likes to zoom out and add meaning and inference to the situations you encounter. 

3. Thinking v. Feeling. Important to understand that if you're a "T," that doesn't mean you don't have feelings, and if you're an "F," it doesn't mean you're a dummy. T v. F simply means: are you someone who is more logical and consistent, or are you someone who takes people and circumstances into account? Are you more ruled by your feelings, or more detached from them? 

4. Judging v. Perceiving. The best way I ever heard this one described was, "If you were to go on a European vacation, would you sit down ahead of time and have every detail, monument, and hotel stay planned? Or are you a person who would arrive and ask the locals where the best places to eat/drink/stay are?" 

To actually take the MB test, you have to shell out some cash, but there's an off-brand site that has created a test that's almost identical, located here. 

I myself am an "ENFJ." My personality description on the Myers-Briggs website looks like this: 

 

Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

 

Now here's where it gets interesting. Jordan, who is very similar to me in many ways, but VERY different in others, is an INTJ. That means our biggest differences are that he gets his energy from being alone, while I get mine from being in groups; he is "Thinking," more detached from being ruled by his emotions, while I am, OF COURSE, "Feeling" every single feeling all the damn time. Here's his type description: 

 

Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance - for themselves and others.

 

The way this manifests in our marriage is fascinating to me. One of the biggest ways is that when it comes to things that are trivial, like dressing up for an event, Jordan's mind works like an efficiency robot - only the things that will be beneficial and effective in a long-term way are truly, deeply important. Otherwise, it doesn't matter too much and he doesn't get that worked up about it. 

A sample conversation between us: 

Me: Honey, you have to put on a collared shirt to go to this restaurant.
Jordan: Why? 
Me: Because there's a dress code! People would stare at you. 
Jordan: Mary Catherine, when are we ever going to see these people again? Why do you care what they think? 
Me: Because EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT SO YOU HAVE TO.
Jordan: So you're telling me that just because somebody somewhere came up with the idea that collars = formality, that's what is expected of me? I wear pajamas to work. Collars hurt my neck. I really don't want to. Do I have to? 
Me: I know that this doesn't make sense to you, and I understand that this is ultimately not that big a deal in the scheme of life. But the reality is that we're late, and I do not have the brain space to get into a conversation with you about the history of formalwear in the United States. Yes. You have to. I love you. 
Jordan: Ugh. 

....aaaaaand scene. 

Another great example is that Jordan is SO helpful at pulling me out of an emotional tailspin because he won't let me take him down with me. Observe: 

Me: UGH I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE. 
Jordan: Baby, you have so many things you love to do. Let's talk about them all. What do you think you would love? 
Me: I LOVE TOO MANY THINGS I CAN'T EVEN START DOWN A ROAD OR I'LL BOX MYSELF IN OR MAYBE I'LL JUST BE PARALYZED BY FEAR FOREVER AND NEVER EVER MAKE ANYTHING OF MYSELF AND THEN JUST DIE. 
Jordan: Well that's probably not going to happen. I'm going to go run a bath for you and we can talk about what to do next. You're writing a blog! I'm so proud of you for that. And you have time to figure out the big stuff.  
Me: NO I DON'T I'M BASICALLY 30 WHICH MEANS I'M BASICALLY 60 MY LIFE IS OVER.
Jordan: You know how sometimes when it thunders outside, dogs get freaked out, so their owners put them in compression shirts? Come here. I am going to hug-thundershirt you. It's all going to be okay. Your life is good. You are sweet and smart. You're going to be fine. 

I include these little snippets for this reason: for me, knowing that Jordan operates in a totally different way from the way I operate in some situations is super helpful for me. It allows me to take a step back and understand that for him, some things are just trivial and they always will be. It's the quality that enables him to be so great at his job - he is hyper-efficient, detail-oriented, and does not allow anxiety or fear to overwhelm him. You wouldn't really want someone like that performing surgery on your mouth. Which is why there are a lot of doctors who are INTJ's. 

In the same way, knowing that I am wired the way I am allows him to be able to shepherd me through my most vulnerable moments with care and grace, because he's aware that it'll pass, and that I probably just need to emotionally vomit all over him and then everything will be fine. 

ANYWAY. All of this to say, Myers-Briggs is FASCINATING to me for so many different reasons. I am on a mission to diagnose everyone in my world, so I've made a whole bunch of people take it. 

Have you taken it? 

What are you? 

I'm dying to know.