5 Things: Reasons I Love Traveling with Jordan

This week, Jordan and I are at a beautiful resort hotel in Myrtle Beach, SC. He's doing some continuing education work, but we're still getting to spend lots of time together! Yesterday while the weather was cloudy, I stayed inside and watched Downton Abbey for about 4 hours. And I'm not even sorry. 

Most of the time when we travel, we're with people and/or only gone for the weekend. This is the first trip since our honeymoon where we've had several days in a row getting to relax and spend lots of time together, and I am gobbling it up. 

So, in honor of that, here are five things I love about traveling with my husband. 

1. He will eat anything. 

I don't mean he has low standards, I mean he'll try anything. Weird, cultural foods are his jam. He loves to try something new if the occasion calls for it, and that's one of my favorite things about him. Last night at dinner, he had the waiter choose for him (because he likes almost everything). The guy brought him salmon Rockefeller and he gobbled up every bite. I think the reason I like this quality in him so much is that it speaks to his low maintenance personality - he's just here to have a good time. 

2. He doesn't sweat the small stuff.

I am the planner in our marriage. I know what's happening, when, how long it will take to get there, what the attire is, who'll be there - I RSVP, send the gifts, and book the plane tickets. That is my role. But since this is his trip, I took a backseat and decided to just show up and go with it. True story: we drove here (a little over 5 hours), and about 30 minutes before we arrived, at 11:15 PM, I confirmed the hotel with Jordan. "Yeah, that's right," he said, "But text someone to make sure." (His entire dental office is also down here, so that's who he was getting confirmation from.) Turns out, we had the wrong hotel. I, of course, was basically bleeding into my brain stem that it was almost midnight and we didn't know where we were staying. But he was fine and we got it figured out within minutes. In the scheme of life, having every plan perfectly nailed down isn't that important. Jordan reminds me that we all have to loosen the hell up sometimes. 

(To be perfectly clear, I will still want to know what hotel we're staying in well before we arrive in the future. Just in case you're reading this, Jord.) 

3. He'll take pictures with me. 

I know that many men are pretty irritated the minute their wives pull out their cell phone and try to snap pictures. Rightfully so - I don't blame them. We take too many pictures. We can't help it. Though Jordan definitely has his limit (example: selfie, take a picture of me by myself, now take a picture with me again, oh wait my hair was doing something weird, etc.), he is almost always such a good sport about posing for as many pictures as I want to take. He says, "It may not be my favorite thing, but I'll want to remember this at some point." 

4. He is happy first thing in the morning. 

I don't know about you, but I am a groggy, nasty wreck first thing in the morning. I'm not one of those, "Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee," people, but it definitely takes me a second to get up and moving. Jordan, on the other hand, is happy right when he opens his eyes. For example, this morning he woke up, snuggled up to me, and started laughing at me because I'd put my pajama pants on backwards last night. #classic Even in the middle of the night if I have to get up for some reason, he's so pleasant and unbothered. This makes traveling a breeze - no grumpiness to fight through, just happiness. 

5. He is a big, curious nerd. 

Any of you who know Jordan personally know that he is a giant nerd. If we go to a park or zoo, he loves to read every SINGLE placard in the joint - all the details about the specific types of trees and/or animals. If we're stargazing, he loves to talk about star death. And if we're beach walking, like we were yesterday, he loves to search for shark teeth (for his dad) and identify every living creature we see along the way. It's a precious habit and always reminds me that stopping to be curious about the natural world pays off in fascinating little bits of information. 

SO let me go ahead and use all the cliches about him: "I love doing life with you!" "THIS guy." "So happy to be in a beautiful place with my favorite person." 

...but really, he is my favorite person. And I'm really glad we got married. 

My kids.

I'm not a mother, but I have approximately 160 kids. 

After I graduated college, I was placed in York, Alabama teaching middle school social studies. Despite living in Alabama my whole life, I'd never heard of York as long as I lived. But that's where I taught some of the greatest people I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing. 

I don't talk a lot about my experience with Teach For America - not in any depth, I mean. It's one of those things that's hard to sum up in a little pearl over dinner, or explain in depth to someone who hasn't lived it. I even have trouble articulating it well to my husband, who I met near the end of my two-year commitment. 

This Friday, my 8th graders from the 2011-2012 school year will graduate high school. It's so hard to believe that four years have passed, and that those 13 and 14 year olds are now 17 and 18 year olds. I'll be in South Carolina that week on a trip with Jordan, so in lieu of making it to their graduation, I drove to York this past weekend and hugged their necks. 

It is really easily to get self-congratulatory when talking about Teach For America. On its face, the program looks prestigious on a resume and is something recognizable to say that you're doing after college. It is hard, hard work - likely the hardest work a person will ever do - to teach in a failing school district. People consider it an "accomplishment" to have done so.

But the truth is, there are career teachers who show up to work every day in classrooms like the ones I taught in - not for two years, but for thirty. And the students who fill those classrooms and defy statistics by graduating high school and going on to college - THAT is an accomplishment. THAT is something a person deserves congratulations for - yes, indeed, they do. 

When I went to York on Saturday, every single kid I saw is graduating high school and attending college. And many of the ones I didn't get to see are, too. They worked so very hard, made great grades, and will graduate with every bit of prestige and honor they deserve. The odds were against them, and it didn't matter. They crushed it. My heart is bursting. 

There are, of course, students who chose to drop out for one reason or another, and it is those students who have been truly failed by education in this country. Those students will now move through the world without a high school degree, when a four-year college or technical degree is not just an asset, but a requirement, to find gainful employment -- those are the students for whom we should all be in prayer, as we should be in prayer for our governments and systems that see them slip through the cracks each year, unnoticed, unmourned, and underserved. It's not in me to place the blame for something like that on the shoulders of my kids. Can't really do that. 

If you're reading this post, you probably don't know my kids. You most likely never will. So let me introduce them to you: they are hysterical, they are sharp as tacks, with wittiness and genuine comedy chops that would bowl you over. They are resilient - some came to school hungry, or with devastating family issues, or worse - and fought through it to get an education. They are kind and supportive of one another and of me, when I was their teacher. Their dreams span across becoming legislators to Army police officer, welders, forensic analysts, attorneys, doctors, nurses, athletes and musicians. They will knock you dead with their fabulousness.  

There are few that I love more fervently and intensely than I love my students. I could never be more proud of anyone, until I have children of my own, than these wonderful people. 

Below is a picture of my precious kids at their 8th grade graduation from York West End Junior High School. I can't WAIT to see their photos from their "real" graduation this Friday. Their grades, their plans, their hopes, their triumphs - they are spectacular. I was just glad to be their backup dancer. 

Congratulations to the class of 2016 - there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Love y'all so, so much. 

Some Thoughts on Downton Abbey

Hi, I'm Mary Catherine, and I'm late to the party. 

I just started watching Downton Abbey a couple of weeks ago. I've already burned through season one and am about midway through season two. Here are some thoughts so far. (No spoilers, don't worry.) 

  • Cora Crawley's voice is so annoying that I can barely watch this show. Elizabeth McGovern's complete refusal to open her mouth any wider than the height of a raisin is infuriating beyond words. I did a long rant on Snapchat a few days ago about this, and it seems a lot of people agree. 
  • The clothes are just magnificent. I like that the wardrobe department made the choice to let us see outfits over and over again, instead of treating the characters as though they have bottomless wardrobes. I like that we see dresses repeated. 
  • I get that Mary and Edith hate each other, but DAMN they're so mean to each other in season one! Woof. 
  • I love the love story between Anna and Mr. Bates, but they're such a physical mis-match that it's kind of unbelievable to me. I don't know why I feel that way. But I do. 
  • Otherwise, they've done such a good job casting people who physically represent the roles they play. One look at any of these folks and you know whether they're aristocracy or servants; heroes or villains. 
  • Matthew Crawley's character went from cringe-worthy to romantic hero in a matter of episodes. Kind of impressive. 
  • Not that I expected any different, but Maggie Smith is for sure the best part of the show. 
  • Thomas and Mrs. O'Brien are almost too evil. It's like comically evil at this point.
  • Lady Sybil is so beautiful it's distracting. That girl has a face like a Christmas ornament. 
  • There are moments that are so soap opera-y and cheesy that it's hard to watch sometimes. Like at the end of a scene when a character will say something very cryptic and then the music will swell and it will cut to another scene. This is like watching Days of our Lives, which I've never watched, but you get the point. 
  • I wish someone had done a tally of how many times Lady Mary's hand flies to cover her mouth as she breaks down in tears. Spoiler: it's a lot. 
  • Besides being eye candy with its gorgeous landscapes and period dress, Downton Abbey is interesting as a bit of historical fiction. I'd honestly never considered what happened to families in the upper echelon of society during wartime.   
  • Even if this show devolves into ridiculousness, as least it's pretty to watch. 

What do you think? Have you watched it? Is it worth sticking with?

 

5 Things: Financial Lessons to Learn Before 30

If you're Southern, money isn't something that's proper dinner conversation. It's impolite. It's tacky to talk about money. Know what's tackier? Ending up thousands of dollars in credit card debt because you didn't save in your 20's and spent recklessly.

MONEY IS SO HARD. Seriously though, it can be so challenging to deal with and think about - no matter what stage of the financial game you're in, there are questions and doubts and freak-outs about money. 

Some of my past freakouts have included the "WHAT?? I thought I had so much more money than this!!!" checking account realization; the "Of COURSE I'll pay for everyone. Another round on me!" unnecessarily generous and semi-drunken gesture; the "Oh, J. Crew Factory has a clearance section? I'll just buy a couple of things..." rabbit hole; and, of course, the "We owe HOW MUCH in student loans?!?!" sinking feeling. 

After college, I was teaching school for a couple of years, had my first experience being financially independent, and learned a LOT of lessons. Now, I manage our finances and pay our bills, create and adhere to (mostly! eek!) our budget, and talk to our financial planner monthly. I have come a long way from my more irresponsible financial days. Though I haven't got it licked, here are some things I've learned. 

1. Save. 

This seems like a no-brainer, but it isn't. When I graduated from college and got a job, my first impulse was to think, "I'm making my own money and I'll SPEND IT HOWEVER I WANT!" Even if I was saving, I would freely dip into my savings account whenever I needed a little extra. 

DON'T! 

Everyone is in a different place when it comes to saving - some have room to save a lot, some, a little. Saving between 10% and 15% of your monthly income is always a safe bet. And once it's there, don't dip into into to pay credit card bills or to cover a splurge purchase. That's your nest egg, and you should protect it.

I remember vividly a weekend in Memphis where my car (without me in it) was sideswiped by a tow truck. Though having to get my car repaired was REALLY inconvenient, that occasion marked the first time in my life that I was able to pay for the damages with my own money without having to worry that I wouldn't have enough to live on. That was such a good feeling. Having money saved gives you financial freedom in the best way. 

2. Credit cards can be your worst enemy.

As of 2015, the United States was in $733 BILLION of credit card debt. Did that blow your mind or what?? Which means the average person in this country is in $17,000 of credit card debt (that's not including mortgages, student loans, or any other type of debt). 

Here's a hard and fast rule: if you can't pay your credit card bill off every month IN FULL, you're spending too much.

Lest I sound preachy, let me clarify that this rule took me about 5 years to actually take to heart. 

Credit card companies make billions of dollars a year from the interest they collect when we don't pay our bills off each month. By owing money, we set ourselves up to ultimately pay through the nose on fees and interest that compound on the money we owe. It stinks. And credit card companies are sneaky, enticing us to sign up for a card and get a discount at our favorite retailer, or to get x, y, and z benefits. 

Building credit is important, so having a credit card is great! But having a credit card is like having a parent who wants to be your friend rather than your disciplinarian. It whispers, "Hey man, just go ahead and swipe me! This is basically Monopoly money anyway - don't you want that pair of shoes? Come on - you can just pay it off later. You only live once!"  Don't listen.

It can be really tempting to spend outside of your means at this stage of life to try to keep up with peers who you feel are living a more affluent lifestyle. I totally know that feeling. It's hard to fight against, but the reality is, many of our peers at this stage who we look to as having luxurious lifestyles are also spending more than they make in order to appear that way. It's a slippery slope, and ultimately, it's a very expensive one that can follow you for years. 

3. Credit cards can be your best friend. 

On the flip side, having a great card can be fantastic if you use it wisely. For example, Jordan and I did some research into which cards give the best rewards (and there are lots!). We ultimately decided to get an Amazon card, because we knew how often we'd be buying products on that site since we have a Prime account. The Amazon card gives you rewards points that turn into Amazon cash, which allows you to make purchases entirely with points. 

Quick story: 

Tom Hanks, God bless his little heart, sheds like a maniac. I know he's a labradoodle, but he's 3/4 lab, which means he sheds for two dogs. So we were really hurting having to clean up his hair every. single. day. 

We started pooling our Amazon points to save for a Roomba. Right after Black Friday, there was an Amazon event on Cyber Monday where lots of products were crazy discounted. I searched to find that our Roomba, the Pet Series, was on the list of discounted merchandise - $100 OFF. So this normally $375 product was slashed to $275. I looked to see how many Amazon points we had: 272. So I got what is normally close to a $400 product...

...FOR THREE DOLLARS. 

Three dollars, people. If that doesn't sell you on a rewards card, I quit. 

4. Make a budget.

This is the more boring piece of advice ever - so boring, in fact, that I just started following this advice THIS YEAR. Oops. 

I don't like budgets. I don't like math. I don't like Excel spreadsheets. I don't like talking about any of the previously mentioned things. But (ugh) they're necessary (ugh) I guess. 

If you're like me and very averse to dealing with numbers, Mint.com offers an incredible, interactive budget that allows you to see what you've spent on each category of your budget in real time. They'll even send you friendly reminders if you're close to spending more than you budgeted on movies, clothes, or food (not that I do that or have ever done that, cough). 

Budgeting has really changed the way I think about money. I no longer want to overspend because I'm very competitive against myself to see how much I can save. I've learned through experience that there will ALWAYS be an unexpected expense (a car breaks down, a computer crashes, the dog gets sick, you need a plane ticket, etc.), and paying for those extra things really makes you wish you had all that money on clothes and food back. 

5. Read your bank statements. 

You, like me, may have signed up for paper statements in the mail, only to toss them in the recycling bin whenever they arrive. We're in the digital age now, which means it's incredibly easy for us to check our statements online; it's also easier than ever for people to steal from us. 

Another quick story: 

When I lived in Memphis, I had a curiously low bank statement one month. I sat at the kitchen table and pored over every transaction from my debit card in the last few months, only to discover that someone had been siphoning money from my account without my knowledge. 

How did they do it without me noticing, you might ask? 

Because they realized I wasn't paying attention. 

At first, they'd take money out in small increments: $5 here, $7 there. Eventually, they figured out that the cardholder (me) wasn't paying close enough attention to notice these small, strange purchases. So they started getting a little braver. They bought $30 items, $40 items - still didn't notice. It wasn't until they bought a $250 dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Utah that I actually woke up. 

So I called the bank and explained what happened, and they promptly explained to me that they already knew this was going on and had sent me a letter three months ago. Apparently, I was one of the people whose credit card information had been stolen in the big Target hack that year, and because I wasn't opening my freakin' mail, I didn't know. 

Thankfully, all that money was recovered. But since then, I've caught four separate occasions where I've either been dramatically overcharged or actually stolen from because I now take the time to comb through my bank statement every few days. 

 

Ultimately, money is a tool. It can provide you with opportunities you'd never otherwise have; it can fund things you care about; it can offer you solace and comfort. It doesn't have to be a dirty word. There is no better feeling than knowing that you are on top of your finances and have no dark clouds looming overhead. But the only way to do that is to be proactive. 

Shout out to my ladies here - these lessons are especially important for us to learn. Because:

MC: out. 

DNR - JTI: To ACTUALLY Kill a Mockingbird

First, let me say, pardon the progress on the blog. I'm in the process of making it a little prettier. Hope you like the changes so far! 

Now, then. 

Dear Mockingbird Outside My Window in College circa 2010,
I honestly didn't know what mockingbirds were, apart of famous Southern literature. I didn't know that the reason you got that name is that you're a world-class imitator. I also didn't know that I hate mockingbirds until you decided to live in the tree outside my window. I hate you. I hate everything you are. I hate that you imitate a car alarm at 5 AM. Don't you know this is COLLEGE?? People are trying to sleep in and skip class. Beat it. DNR - JTI. 

Dear That Same Mockingbird,
Listen, chump. I wish I felt bad about waking up this morning at 4:43, snatching the glass of water from my nightstand, opening my window, and hurling said glass at you. But I don't. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I don't have better aim. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Mockingbird Outside My Window in Eutaw circa 2011,
Listen. I am a first-year teacher. I am trying to teach class every day. I am trying not to die. I am trying to grade lesson plans. You imitating garbage trucks all day, EVERY DAY is driving me to drink. You know what you should imitate? A mute. Or a mime. I'm sure any circus would happily oblige. Please leave and never come back. 

Dear Mockingbird Outside My Window in Homewood circa 2014,
Hi! I'm a newlywed. I'd like to have those adorable Nancy Meyers moments where my husband and I wake up in a room streaming with golden light and then drink coffee in bed while talking about our weekend plans. I can't have that. Do you know why? Because you're out there. Screaming at us. There's no golden light. There's no coffee in bed. There's me waking up with drool dried to my cheek and bags under my eyes so big you could store your groceries in them. BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP. BECAUSE OF YOU. SCREAMING. I feel like Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs. Except my lambs are MOCKINGBIRDS. 

Dear God,
Is this the same bird? Tell me the truth. Is this the same bird at every house? Are you trying to teach me a lesson in patience? Are you trying to show me how trivial my problems are if the biggest hurdle in my life is a mockingbird? I'm sorry I'm so ungrateful. 

Dear Cat Stuck in a Tree circa Two Nights Ago,
Jordan and I were casually sitting on our porch - having a cocktail, playing a card game. Your distressed meows were very concerning to us. We heard them over and over until it became clear that you really needed help. Did you see Jordan descend our porch steps? Did you hear him speaking in dulcet tones to try and coax you down? DID YOU SEE MY HEAD EXPLODE WHEN I REALIZED YOU WEREN'T A CAT, BUT A FREAKING MOCKINGBIRD??????? Did you hear me yell, "Oh HELL NO," so loudly that the neighbors across the street turned and looked? Could you still hear me yelling at you once I was inside? I hope so. Because there were a lot of swear words. You bastard. I could practically hear you laughing from the tree. 

Dear All Mockingbirds Ever,
You have been #1 on my hit list for quite some time, but your friend's cat-imitation antics the other night have pushed things over the edge. You've been protected in nature by the Law of Harper Lee, but NO MORE. I'm rallying everyone against you because I know you're not sweet little songbirds. You are full-sized demons living in tiny little bodies. I bet your heads can spin all the way around. Ms. Lee, God rest her soul, didn't write that book in the age of car alarms and other electronic nuisances. She didn't know what she was saying.