5 Things: Isolated Vocals

I know this is nerdy, but stay with me - I think you'll like it. 

One of the great things about having grown up in a musical family is that either my brother or my dad (or both) clued me in to the glory that is an isolated vocal track. An isolated vocal track is exactly what it sounds like it's going to be - a song you know, but without the music - just the singing. 

Some might call this "a cappella," but it's not, really - a cappella music is intentionally sung without music, while these isolated vocal tracks were originally sung WITH music. Only now, the music has been taken out, so only the vocals are left. 

The difference is that when a singer performs a song a cappella, he or she is very concerned with hitting notes exactly right, variations in volume, etc. - they know that whatever they sing is ALL the audience will hear, and they don't have any music to rely on. But when a singer sings to a backing track, sometimes they get lazy and depend on the instrumentation to beef up their performance. 

Listening to an isolated vocal (especially older ones like these, pre-autotune), gives you an idea of just how talented these performers were. These tracks are so compelling, such technically and emotionally rich performances, that you really don't need music at all. 

1. Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

First up, one of the greats. This is a fun one to start with because Michael Jackson had all kinds of little chirps and "Woo's!" that make it super entertaining to listen to. Rumor has it that when Michael recorded music, he asked that the recording booth be pitch black dark except for a single spotlight where the microphone would be. So the engineers would see him pop up to sing, then for the next 8 bars or so he'd totally disappear because he was dancing around the booth in the dark, only to reappear to sing his next part. 

The King of Pop, everyone: 

2. Queen and David Bowie - Under Pressure

This may actually be the greatest isolated vocal of all time, so I'm sorry I put it so early in the list. But I'm not sorry that you're about to have your brain melted. The creative choices that these two geniuses make - it's pretty out of this world. 

3. The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice

If you haven't seen the movie Love and Mercy, which is based on Brian Wilson's life, you should go rent it right now. It's so moving, and tells the fascinating story of how Pet Sounds, one of the best albums of all time, was created. Listening to these young guys sing their guts out on this track is really special.

4. Whitney Houston - How Will I Know?

There really isn't even anything that needs to be said about this, except for WHITNEY WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISS YOU. This freakin' excellence speaks for itself. 

Just LISTEN to how good she is. I mean, seriously. It's not even right. 

5. Beyonce - Love On Top LIVE

Keep in mind that she is live, meaning she's probably also dancing around the stage and NAILING. EVERY. NOTE. Beyonce is not a real person. She is a beautiful robot from another planet sent to remind us that we are not worthy. 

And because I am feeling shady this morning...we'll throw this in just to compare with the greats. 

"But she's singing live, Mary Catherine!" 

Yeah, so is Bey. (To be fair, she does nail it at the end - but it, you know, takes a few tries.) 

Have a fantastic weekend, people! Go listen to some good music! So much love - 

Please Stop.

In college, my favorite favorite FAVORITE blog was written by a genius named Allie Brosh. 

One of her best entries was about a code word that she and her friends were forced to use: "Please stop." 

I'll let Allie take it from here: 

When I was a child, one of the things I enjoyed doing was hitting other children with a stick.   Many of my classmates also enjoyed doing this.  We would walk through the forest in back of our school, trying to find the biggest stick we could feasibly wield as a weapon.  When we found the right stick, we would lure an unsuspecting child out of the teacher's sight during recess and attack them.  We called this game Stick War and it was the best game ever as long as you weren't the one being beaten mercilessly. 
 

We were able to secretly play Stick War for almost three whole days before one of our asshole classmates ruined it by calling for help when we wouldn't stop hitting him.  Our teacher was furious.  She sat us down and told us that from then on, if any one of us felt like we were being treated unfairly, we could yell "PLEASE STOP!" and the offending party must stop or face dire consequences.

Life after Please Stop was very different for us. We could no longer overpower our classmates with our brutality. 

No matter what was happening to you, you could always count on Please Stop to prevent it from continuing. It was a magic bullet of pure power. 

Thanks, Allie. 

Many, many times throughout this election cycle, I (and probably you) have thought, "Please stop." Because I have friends of all political and social leanings, I don't post a lot about politics on this blog. Well - I did post a goofy letter to Donald Trump, but that was when he was one of a thousand Republican primary candidates, not the nominee. 

At this point, though, Donald Trump has managed to offend absolutely everyone I know in some way. Donald. It's almost amazing. 

So here are some thoughts. But because I believe in kindness above almost anything else, I think it's important to say, "Please." 

Please stop insulting the families and traditions of veterans who died for this country. 

Please stop casually implying that people have the option to assassinate Hillary Clinton should she become president. 

Please stop making fun of people with disabilities. 

Please stop saying that Mexicans who illegally immigrate to this country bring crime, drugs, and rape. 

Please stop telling people that Senator John McCain, famous POW, is not a war hero. 

Please stop telling people stories about a video you saw (that, in reality, doesn't exist) where money was airlifted to Iran. 

Please stop bullying new moms at your rallies.  

Please stop suggesting that Russia hack your opponent's e-mails. 

Please stop saying that the PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES is the "founder of ISIS." 

Please stop shooting your mouth off about nuclear weapons.

Please stop. 

Please stop. 

Please stop. 

Listen: every candidate, throughout the history of presidential elections, has said and done things we wish they wouldn't. If you know me well, you know that, though I lean left on the political spectrum, I want there to be two solid, respectable, fantastic people in the race for President of the United States. That's democracy. That's beautiful. 

I know that some would argue we have zero solid, respectable, fantastic people in this race. I hear ya. 

But this guy? This is some next-level, pretty much completely unacceptable no matter who you are stuff. 

You've hurt feelings, incited outrage, shocked, appalled, and bullied. Come on, dude. Seriously. Please stop. 

DIY - The Chairs are DONE.

Well, my fourth grade teacher would say, "Cakes are done, people are finished." So...the chairs are finished? Anyway the point is LOOK AT THIS. 

And it only took us four months. (Hahahahahaha get it?? Because four months is a really long time.) 

We started this project in late April when I saw some chairs at an estate sale with a friend of mine. I brought them home with the earnest intention of refinishing them alllll by myself. To be fair to me, it did at least start as an independent project... 

...it wasn't so successful. This was taken right after I Googled "How do you use a palm sander?" and then went on to sand an entire corner of this chair clean off. 

Oops. 

Thankfully, I married a handyman who came to the rescue. 

My hero. 

If you haven't read through the first three posts about this project, I encourage you to do so now so that you can appreciate the glory that is the final product right along with me: 

Here's Part I. 
Part II.
And Part III. 

I don't have many pictures of Jordan finishing the chairs because he did the last bit of work while I was out of the house. (I'm just realizing that probably wasn't an accident.) All the hard work of stuffing the chairs, putting the nailheads in, etc. is lost to time. Here are the last ones I took of Jord: 

Okay. So. Ready for the reveal? Here's how they started: 

Sitting at the estate sale, waiting to come home with me. 

And here's that same chair now: 

Jordan says, "They're not my best work, but they're pretty good." 

I, on the other hand, and happy with them. For a DIY project, I'm proud! 

Changes we made from our original plan: 

• We had originally planned to paint the chairs grey, then gloss them over. We decided we wanted a more blue-based color and no shiny topcoat. 
• Jordan decided to leave the arms of "his" chair white. He thought it looked cool. And it's his chair (his chairs, really), so we left it! 

Some things I learned during this project: 

• "Good enough" is not good enough. Go ahead and do a task fully, to perfection, even it it takes longer. 
• Doing something from a tutorial you found online is sometimes a recipe for disaster. 
• Having a husband who's good at things is a life-saver. 

Hooray for this project being OVER, but truly, I'm really happy with the results. This also inspired me to re-design our bar and make a collage of magazine covers to hang over it. I love our little corner of the house, thanks to these spruced up (actually matching) chairs and a little elbow grease. 

Cooking Hacks

Recently, Jordan and I baked a cake together (for more on that, tune in to my Snapchat @MCMScott). It was kind of a hysterical experience. But the thing I loved most about it was hearing Jordan say, "Wow - you really do know what you're doing." He's never in the kitchen when I cook or bake, so he was pleasantly surprised that I do, indeed, have a basic knowledge of how things work in a kitchen.

Mmhmm. Men. Amirite, ladies? 

I have a few friends who are professional chefs and pastry chefs, so I hope they'll just close their browser at this point because I'm inevitably going to say something wrong and/or dumb. BUT, in the spirit of sharing, here are some things that make my life easier in the kitchen: 

1. Counter garbage. 

"Ew, you put garbage on the counter??" Well...kinda. 

Back in our first house in Birmingham, our kitchen had very limited storage space. I'm talking about we had ONE DRAWER. Yep. You read that right. 

That being the case, I decided that I wanted to try to conserve as much space as possible while I cooked. Thus, "counter garbage" was born. This is the most unattractive tip on the list, but I love it. I take a grocery bag, put it on the counter, and use it for all my food-related waste: the ends of vegetables, the outside of onions, little plastic wrappers on bottles or cans - anything. Then, when I'm done, all my garbage is in one place. All I have to do is tie it off and chuck it. It saves me time while cooking to not have to constantly carry a cutting board or a handful of food trimmings to the garbage can. 

There are lots of cute little counter garbages you can buy offline, or you can be like me and stick a bag on your counter. Because, I'm classy. 

2. Mise en place.

This one is in French, so I hope it's clear that I didn't invent it.  

"Mise en place" means "everything in its place." The idea is that, before cooking a meal, you pre-set all the equipment and all the ingredients you'll need. Although this seems like a lot of work on the front end (and may not be necessary for recipes you know by heart), this takes A LOT of guesswork out of making a new recipe. Once you get started, you can just add the ingredients - BAM! No measuring, no stopping to double-check - just dump it right in. 

One of the best part of employing this technique is that successfully doing it requires you to read the recipe carefully. The number of times I've ruined a dish because I didn't read the recipe through first are...well, too many to name. 

And of course, it makes for a beautiful, organized workspace - that always helps to yield a more delicious recipe, right?  

3. Crack an egg on a flat surface. 

I'm sure half of you are like, "Yeah. Duh." But I recently heard someone say this and it changed the game. I have two eggs every single morning for breakfast, so this actually made a pretty big difference in my kitchen. 

Never. Crack an egg. On the side. Of a bowl. It's that simple. Why? Doing that cracks the shell into the egg, making it more likely that you'll end up with bits of shell in your final product. Instead, crack the egg on a flat surface, like your counter or a cutting board, and the crack will distribute more evenly across more surface area. That way, you can just pull the egg apart. 

In the meantime, we'll all be working up to this: 

 

4. Oven bacon. 

This one was taught to me a couple of years ago by a fellow dentist wife (shoutout to Tara Hulgan!) and I have never looked back. 

Instead of frying bacon in your cast iron skillet, put your bacon on a piece of foil (make sure the foil comes up and over the sides of the pan), stick it on a cookie sheet, and pop that sheet into a COLD oven. Once it's in, preheat your oven to about 425 degrees. 

Here's the important step: the first few times you do this, you'll need to really babysit your bacon to see how your oven is going to behave. Once the temperature hits 425, if your bacon isn't done, you'll want to increase the time the bacon is cooking, not increase the heat (otherwise, your oven just gets hotter and hotter until your bacon burns). Instead, hang out by the oven door and pay attention to how long you waited. Next time, once the oven preheats, you'll be able to set your kitchen timer for exactly that long and when it goes off, TA DA! Perfectly, evenly cooked, mess-free bacon. And you can still save the fat. 

(Also, buy your bacon from the butcher and not from an airtight package in the deli. Because #cancer.) 

5. Microwave corn to de-silk and shuck. 

This one sounds a bit weird, but I'm telling you - you will NEVER be covered in those weird, sticky corn silks again. And who likes that? (Not me, just so I'm clear. I do not like that.) Shoutout to my grandmother, Nonnie, for sharing this one. 

I actually found a video of a chef doing this! It's SO effective every single time. Trust.  

What are your cooking or kitchen hacks?? Tell me! I want to keep impressing my husband with my endless knowledge on this subject. 

High Falls, Triple Falls, Hooker (...yes, really) Falls.

I asked Jordan to take me on a picnic yesterday, so he chose a hike through DuPont Forest that included three beautiful waterfalls. So we loaded up the Jeep, the dog, and swung by Fresh Market on the way out. 

Let me pause here to say that Fresh Market is one of my favorite places on earth. It's too expensive for my regular shopping trips, but every time I go in there, I feel like I'm walking into a Nora Ephron movie. Pro tip - go early in the morning, like I did yesterday. It's quiet, there's fresh coffee that's brewing, and the pastries are all right out of the oven. Um, YES PLEASE. 

Anyway, back to the hiking. 

We first stopped at High Falls, which is probably the most visited. There's something about a waterfall that causes everyone who encounters it to just kind of stand there in awe. I think it's a combination of the beauty of the natural phenomenon in front of you, but also the fact that the falls are so loud that they essentially act as a giant white noise machine. Everyone standing there is just cocooned in waterfall sound. It's pretty wonderful. 

Tom Hanks had a GREAT time here. We let him off-leash for just a few minutes so he could enjoy swimming in a less rapid part of the river. Don't worry - we were keeping a close eye on him! Pay attention to his very unique "swimming" style...

After High Falls, we hiked up the trail and got to see Triple Falls. This location was a bit more crowded because it was definitely a little easier of a hike to get there, and Jordan likes his nature with a side of "no human person for 100 square miles." So we quickly abandoned ship and found a few rocks on a part of the river where no one else was to eat our lunch. 

Lunch was delicious. And, though we brought Tom Hanks' food, he ended up convincing us to give him 5 or 6 of those Pirate's Booty corn puffs. Because he is a dang dirty rat and he gets whatever he wants. 

We never actually made it to Hooker Falls (the alleged least impressive of the three), but we were okay with that because a storm was rolling in. About halfway home, the bottom fell out - it was perfect timing! 

We had a really great time - it's an easy hike, probably under five miles, with a fairly easy level of incline. There were people there who hike all the time, and obviously also people there who have maybe never hiked before. If you're visiting Asheville, this is a beautiful way to see some waterfalls! 

Do Not Respond - Just Take It.

First of all, thanks to the blogging community for being patient over the last couple of days with my deatbeat-ness. Sometimes, you run up against a week that just owns you, and this was one of them. However, I haven't run out of opinions, of course. 

Let's talk about some things. (As usual, credit for this concept goes to the hilarious Mollie Erickson).

Dear Instagram,
Hi. I see that you have upgraded your situation to now feature "stories." I feel like there was already a social media service doing that. Instagram, you are stressing me out. Do you know how much pressure we all already feel to keep up with everyone's Snap stories, Instagram photos, Facebook feeds, and Tweets? Have you ANY IDEA how much of my day is spent speed-scrolling through these various mediums, barely even enjoying it, but doing it to make sure I've seen every single picture? You're making this REALLY complicated, Instagram. I haven't used your new feature yet. I'm mad at you for adding it. But I'm also scared I'm gonna like it and I can't deal with another "thing" to pay attention to. Tell your other social media platform friends to CHILL OUT because this is TOO FREAKIN' MUCH. Sincerely, An Addict. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Presidential Election Cycle,
Are you over yet? I am so, so tired of you. If I'm using my "feeling words," you make me sad and mad. Please hurry up. Goodbye. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Retail Customers,
I know you think you are being helpful by putting your own selections back on the racks after you've tried them on, and I appreciate the sentiment. What you're actually doing is creating a game of "needle in a haystack," in which retail employees must dig through the piles to find and correctly re-hang the item you've replaced. It's a lot. Just put those thangs on the "rejects" table and don't feel a darn bit bad about it. DNR - JTI. 

Dear President Obama, 
This morning I scrolled through an article about how much you love kids. It made me really happy. This isn't the first time I've gotten nostalgic about you lately - in the midst of all this turmoil and insanity, I am reeeeeeeeeeeeeally going to miss having a President who is such a dynamic public speaker and a charming personality. However people feel about your time in office, one thing that's hard to deny is how charismatic and awesome you are. One of my friends referred to you as "Season 8 Obama," implying that you have turned on an extra special level of frankness and swagger in this final chapter of your administration. I agree. I love you. I'm going to miss you so much. DNR - JTI. (But respond if you want, sir - I'm not trying to tell you what to do.) 

Dear Produce,
Please stay fresh for longer than a week. I know, I am  a complete lame-o and should've already cooked with you. But sometimes I'm tired and I just want to eat cereal for dinner. Is there a spell I can cast to make you stay fresh forever? Let me know. Especially you, brussels sprouts. You're stinkin' up my fridge. DNR - JTI.

Dear Chad from The Bachelorette,
Go ahead and be The Bachelor already. I feel it coming. I know it's gonna happen. I just KNOW IT. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to happen. I want Luke to be The Bachelor (although I also simultaneously don't, because I want him to run far away from this franchise because he's #toogooforthisshow). But I feel like that rat Chris Harrison is going to do it. You are ratings gold, though I'm growing weary of the "is he or isn't he" game. Let's cut to the chase, Harrison. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Self Tanner, 
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY BACK???? How. How. Somebody explain this to me. Because right now, I have two big stripes on my shouler blades because MY HANDS CAN'T REACH THAT FAR. I guess I could just not use it, but then I'd also not be able to go outside because my lily white skin would scorch people's retinas and I'd be responsible for hospital bills. We can give people face transplants - we should have the technology to evenly apply tanning foam to a person's back. DNR - JTI. (Actually, please respond because this is so annoying.) 

Dear Weekend, 
Hello. I love you. Let's hold hands. Never leave me. DNR - JTI.