The Top 5 Halloween-Themed Episodes of TV

I don't know why, but I have come to love Halloween. It probably has something to do with my husband, who loves to dress up and think of smart ways to execute a costume. This morning, for example, his dental practice is dressing up with a barnyard theme in mind. He decided to go as Old McDonald, so, naturally, he made himself a new nametag: 

Cute, right? 

I have had such fun plans the last two Halloweens - two great parties - and this year, we don't have anything going on. So tonight, we'll be turning on the spooky sound effects, entertaining trick-or-treaters, getting chocolate wasted, and marathoning these shows. 

There's nothing better than a few fun episodes of TV to get you in the mood. 

Let's start with 5 and work our way up. 

5. Slutty Pumpkin - How I Met Your Mother

Look, it's not groundbreaking television, but it features one of the more well-known jokes that runs throughout HIMYM. If you're a fan of the show, you'll be treated to some classic Barney tricks, an over-the-top gooey Ted pep-talk, and some Lily and Marshall cuteness. Blessedly, this episode is in Season 1 of the show, so although HIMYM hasn't quite hit its stride, it also hasn't become completely over-the-top unbearable. Yet. Available to stream on Netflix.

4. Halloween - Modern Family

Back in Modern Family's early days, I was still watching each episode as it aired, and I remember this one specifically from that era. First of all, Gloria's sub-plot is that she is frustrated with her accent ("baby cheeses" becomes "baby Jesus") and that alone is worth the watch. But Claire and Phil's love for all things spooky and corny is to die for. I think Jordan and I might accidentally become them at some point. It's not available to stream, I discovered, unless you click this link. Then it is. (You're welcome.) 

3. Community - Epidemiology

Another Season 2 triumph. Community is not a show with which you're familiar, let me solve that problem right now. This show is pretty hilarious, and this episode is a great one to start with. At a big Halloween party, guest after guest starts exhibiting zombie-like symptoms. I won't spoil it for you, of course, but it's a hilarious and sometimes even a little spooky episode of television. Available on Hulu. 

2. Halloween - The Office

If you know me well, you know that The Office is my "cult-level-following" TV show. This show actually boasts a handful of great Halloween episodes, but this is my favorite. There are about a million great costumes here -- Michael's two heads, Dwight's Sith Lord, Three-Hole Punch Jim, etc. In YET ANOTHER Season 2 Halloween episode, Michael's been saddled with laying off an employee, but doesn't want to because he fears it will make him unpopular. There are a lot of gems here - Jim and Pam cuteness, some FANTASTIC Dwight Schrute moments - you'll have to watch for yourself. Available on Netflix. 

1. Parks and Rec - Greg Pikitis

And yet, as much as I love The Office (and I do, an unhealthy amount), this episode takes the cake. If you can only watch one Halloween-themed episode of TV, this is your winner. In what I'm another of beginning to feel are a totally suspicious amount of Season 2 Halloween-themed episodes, this one from P&R wins. Local teenage punk Greg Pikitis loads this episode with a special kind of awesome. Inside, you'll find: the birth of Andy Dwyer's alter-ego Agent Bert Macklin, a guest appearance by Louis CK, some of Aziz Ansari's finest work, and an irrational, vengeance-seeking Leslie Knope with whom all of us can identify. It is laugh-out-loud funny the entire way through. We watched it last night and will watch again this evening. Two words: peach pit. Available on Netflix. 

Hope everyone saw/wore some great costumes this weekend. Happy Halloween! 

...and please, make sure to give trick-or-treaters some teeth-rotting goodies tonight. Do your partto keep your local dentists in business. 

5 Things: Costumes to Stay Away From.

Halloween is fast approaching. First of all, I'd like to lament that Jordan and I have no plans this year. Very depressing. Last year was such a great time (see photo at the bottom of this post) and we loved our costume - we'll have to cook up something great for next year. Halloween is the best.

Halloween also seems like a time when people get pretty sloppy with their costume choices and accidentally (or sometimes intentionally) end up being racist, classist, or sexist. 

Last year in my hometown of Decatur, Alabama, a big Halloween costume scandal exploded because a teacher, dressed up as Kanye West, painted his face with dark makeup. This got a lot of conversations started about where to draw the line. 

So here are a few that may/will rub people the wrong way. 

1. Geisha.  

This one is kind of two-fold offensive. First, it perpetuates a stereotype of Japanese women that many modern women find outdated and difficult to overcome. Geisha are associated with high-end prostitution in many circles. Secondly, there are actually still women who are geisha, and the training process is brutal and intense. Either way, just a good one to avoid. 

2. Anything in blackface. 

I know this one seems obvious, but every year, it crops back up. As anyone who has ever been to school knows, blackface is one of the many ways that the Black community has been persecuted by White folks. For the Black community and its allies, this costume harkens back to a time when white people used similar makeup to mock, denigrate, and dehumanize. Looking at that costume, for so many, represents years of oppression and hurt. 

3. Terrorist. 

I know. I know. Can't believe this exists. Me either. But it does, because people love to get a laugh/to be sensational/outlandish. The truth is, this is a time in American culture when Muslims are being widely discriminated against as either members of ISIS or dangerous refugees. Imagine being a Muslim American (or a Muslim anywhere else, frankly) and seeing your culture, a culture with rich history apart from those two tropes, represented this way. Yikes. 

4. White trash. 

Not cool to make fun of teenage pregnancies; not cool to make fun of people living below the poverty line; not cool. 

5. Native American/"Indian."

This costume is problematic for the same reason that calling a team the "Redskins" is: because it paints a cartoonish and "savage" picture of Native culture. To add insult to injury, the people who usually wear this costume are White, which is terribly ironic when you consider that White people drove Native people out of their homes and off their land. Woof. 

Listen - here's the thing. 

If you've worn one of these costumes before, it doesn't make you a bad person. I was a geisha when I was in middle school. I didn't know better, and you probably didn't either. 

The bottom line is that using someone's race or culture as a costume is inherently offensive. By dressing up as a "gypsy" or a "ninja," we're using elements of someone's actual heritage and turning those few details into a character we get to play for a few drunken hours. Worse, it's not even a character - it's a caricature. 

It's easy to say that people need to grow a thicker skin, take a joke, and see these costumes for what they are: silly, inoffensive, and playful. But if I, a White person, tell a person of color to just "get over" the fact that I've used their culture as a costume, that's crossing a line that just isn't mine to cross. 

One of the biggest lessons I learned while I was a corps member for Teach for America is the concept of intent vs. impact. For example: 

I don't intend to roll over in my sleep and elbow my husband in the face 4 out of 7 nights a week. But it still happens. And it probably still hurts. 

Even if I don't intend to offend anyone with my costume, it doesn't mean it's not offensive. 

For me at least, it's helpful to consider: "If I was wearing this costume out tonight and ran into (insert person of a particular race/ethnicity/gender/sexual orientation/etc.), would I feel uncomfortable or awkward?"

There are plenty of benign costumes out there, peeps. There are also plenty of ways you can dress up as someone of another race and not be offensive. Observe! 

The Powerpuff Girls! 

Marty McFly and Doc Brown! 

Beyonce's backup dancers! 

Of course, Chris Pratt and his velociraptor are always a safe bet. 

My husband and I last year. Yes, that head is homemade.

Happy Halloween, y'all! Make it fun, keep it clean, and be mindful! 

50 Thoughts About the Gilmore Girls Trailer

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS. 

I said that out loud in a very emphatic voice when someone tagged me in this glorious new trailer yesterday.

Also, can we talk about how the marketing people at Netflix are really knocking it out of the park? Between the first trailer, the pop-up Luke's at coffee shops nationwide, and this gem of a teaser, we are all more or less salivating at this point. 

This trailer certainly offered more than the previous one did - we got to see all the characters, learn a little about everyone's lives, flash through various sets in Stars Hollow that we all know and love. It was a doozie. Let's get to gettin'. 

I will narrate my thoughts as they occurred: 

1. I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
2. Oh they're talking about food. This pleases me. They ate so much they don't remember what they watched. #beenthere 

3. ...did this actually happen? *Googles* It did. HOW did I not know that Tori Spelling made herself a human wonton?? 
4. Rory has officially graduated from talking in that kind of semi-baby voice that she used when she was a fetus. And she learned to stand up straight.
5. WHY aren't those coffee cups from Luke's?! 

6. Lorelai's pink coat. *hearts appear in eyes* It's not exactly the same coat as before (that one had gold buttons), but I have to believe they want it to be a deliberate call-back to the pink coat she wore in the photo above (and many other times throughout the show) because fans LOVED that coat. So this new version is a bit more polished and grown up, but it's still Lorelai's pink coat. 
7. Why does her kitchen look so different?? 
8. Oh, it's been renovated! Even since the big renovation in later seasons, she's done more to it. Interesting. The cabinets are now painted mint instead of white, the refrigerator has been updated, etc. (Sorry for the grainy "before" photo.) 

9. One thing that hasn't changed at all: LUKE. And I'm here for that. 
10. I'm already gonna have a hard time with Edward Herrmann/Richard Gilmore's death. I don't like it and you can't make me. 
11. This. Of course Emily did this. 

12. Okay NOW we're getting some details. So Rory is job-less? Hmm.
13. So we know that she went on the campaign trail with then-Senator Obama (hey, that worked out pretty nicely for her) - are we to believe she hasn't nailed down a job since then??
14. Or is this some kind of interim period between a couple of jobs? 
15. OR is she secretly moonlighting as a cosplayer and doesn't want her family to know about her secret dreams?? (Probably not that one.) 

16. Why the hell is KIRK at Friday Night Dinner?? 

17. Kelly Bishop (Emily) looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Either she doesn't age, or she's had some pretty incredible work done. Have your people call my people, girl. 
18. GILMORE GUYS SIGHTING. 

19. Are Lorelai and Luke in couple's counseling?? 

20. Oh. It's just her.
21. ...is she in therapy about her relationship??
22. Have we waited all this time just to figure out they're going to break up?!?! 
23. I really don't know what I'm going to do about this. 
24. Is it irrational to have actual anxiety over a TV show that hasn't even aired? 
25. YOU SHUT UP, I KNOW IT'S IRRATIONAL. 
26. EMILY GILMORE IN A T-SHIRT AND JEANS, EMILY GILMORE IN A T-SHIRT AND JEANS. 

27. Even better: Emily Gilmore in a t-shirt and jeans Marie Kondo-ing her house. I'm dying. This is so brilliant. 
28. Leave it to Amy Sherman-Palladino to find current pop culture references to integrate into the show. 
29. I honestly feel scandalized looking at Emily's upper arms. I feel like I should look away - like it's indecent somehow. 
30. That being said, once again, go Kelly Freakin' Bishop. Lookin' like a million $$! She's 72, y'all!!
31. Oh my gosh. My heart.  

32. Just take me now, Jesus. I can't handle Richard's funeral. 
33. But Richard, you PROMISED.  

34. I don't know why I just did that to us because of course I'm crying. Okay but back to this photo: 

35. Some genius at Buzzfeed caught this and I'll just link it here instead of trying to re-explain it. All of this to say, the level of detail being included in this re-boot is what makes Gilmore Girls the show that it is. 
36. RORY AND JESS. 

37. Where are they?
38. Does one of them work in a newspaper or publishing house? 
39. Is he interviewing her for a job? 
40. Is she interviewing him? 
41. Why do they have so much chemistry? Why does Jess have Dean's old haircut? Why are they drinking scotch at work?
42. Are they just commiserating about life? 
42. WHERE'S LOGAN??
43. Taylor!  

44. PARIS!!!! (Who is...a teacher/HEADMASTER at Chilton????? AMAZING.) 

45. ...Dean. More like BEAN. Prob'ly still works at Doose's, where all the CHEATERS work. 

46. LOGAN. 

47. MICHEL!!

48. A tiny teacup pig!!! 

49. Babette and (skinny!!) Miss Patty! 

50. ALL OF THIS (including Melissa McCarthy who better be in this show for longer than a scene, or so help me...):

51. Okay this is going to be freaking incredible. I CANNOT WAIT. I have so many feelings. 

Exactly. 

Charleston and Kiawah Travel Guide, Pt. 2

Okay. So we left off on Wednesday night. 

Thursday. 

• Said goodbye to the beautiful Zero George and hopped in the car to go to Kiawah (only about an hour away)! 

• Stopped halfway to grab some lunch at a local dive called J.B.'s Smoke Shack. We were not disappointed. Though I didn't actually have any, I heard that the brisket was ridiculously good. 

• Why yes, that is a plate of just starches. 
• Arrived at The Sanctuary smelling like BBQ. I had never been to this stunning resort, nor had I looked up any pictures beforehand (I like to be surprised by these things), so the giant, light-filled lobby really knocked me out. Not to mention our beautiful rooms, which featured my new favorite thing: a bathtub that is situated so that if you open the shutters, you can watch TV. IN THE TUB. Yes, please. 

• And as lovely as the rooms were, I really wasn't ready for the immaculately kept grounds. This was the view from our window: 

• WOW. 
• The girls took a little jaunt around the property while everyone was getting settled into their rooms and discovered the pool(s) where we immediately migrated after everyone suited up. One of my favorite features of The Sanctuary is that they had two separate pools - one for families with children, and one "adults only" pool. It made the experience so nice to have all the littles in one place and all the grown ups in another! Although we definitely visited the "kid pool" and played pool games. STAR, anyone? 

• Since we arrived on a Thursday, we were some of the only people at the resort for almost 24 hours. It was totally delightful to have the place mostly to ourselves. We took full advantage of it and lounged by the pool for the rest of the afternoon! 

• After the pool, we got dressed for dinner at the Jasmine Porch, a restaurant in the hotel. Again, failed to take pictures, but it was delicious! 
• Went back to the rooms for yet another round of Telephone Pictionary. It never gets old. 

Friday. 

• Arguably the most fun morning. We all got our own breakfast - little coffee and pastry at a shop in the hotel - and then met outside for bike riding on the beach. SO fun!! 

• We rode to the end of what we could access without wading through the ocean and stumbled upon a little forest of dead trees and brambles. it was so neat to see deer tracks coming in and out of the forest from the night before - everything about this little cove was kind of magical. By this point, we'd worked up an appetite, so we headed back to the hotel for lunch. I'm not normally a huge meat-eater, but man oh man was it ever time for a CHEESEBURGER. 

• We once again suited up and spent the afternoon by the pool. Once everyone had gotten their fill, we rented a bocce ball set and played on the lawn. This was a highlight of the trip! 

• For dinner, we went off campus to a precious local pizza place that I can't remember the name of. Fantastic, though. At one point, I had pasta, pizza, and a bread basket sitting in front of me. Can you say MY DREAM?? 
• After dinner, we stopped by the local market and everyone got a pint of ice cream to enjoy in the car on the way home/while we watched a little TV before bed. Ice cream after dinner (with a paper towel wrapped around it so your hands don't get cold) is very much a "thing" in my family, so it was the perfect cap to our trip that we all ended up ice cream wasted by the end of the night. 

Absolutely hated to leave, but good GRIEF it was one hell of a vacation. I am so grateful that we all got to enjoy and luxuriate together, sure - but more than anything, I'm grateful to have grown up in a family that enjoys spending time together! We were glued to each other for over a week (Mom and Dad came back to Asheville for a couple of days after Kiawah) and we all truly enjoyed each other, laughed, and could've spent even longer together. Family is such an unquantifiable blessing. SO deeply thankful and, though I'm totally wishing I was back by the pool, already looking forward to the next time I get to see all those crazies. 

'Til next time, South Carolina!  

Charleston and Kiawah Travel Guide, Pt I.

Well HELLO! 

Didja miss me? 

I missed you!

It feels like it's been much longer than a week and also much less than a week since I've written. Let me fill you in! 

Last Christmas, my parents gave us kids a trip as our big gift. My dad planned a week long trip starting in Asheville, then moving on to Charleston, heading to Kiawah Island, and then back to Asheville. We spent about two days in each place. It was easily one of the best trips I've ever taken - not only because the scenery, accommodations, and food were MIND-BLOWLINGLY GOOD, but because my whole family was present. Laughing with my family is one of the greatest things there is. 

So - let's kick things off when our trip began in Asheville: 

MONDAY: 

• My mom and Parker's girlfriend, Emily, came to a Pure Barre class that I taught! So fun to have everyone there. 
• We met up with the guys and went to Mayfel's in downtown Asheville.

• After breakfast, we loaded up in the giant SUV my dad rented to accommodate all six of us (plus Tom Hanks, in this case) and drove to Max Patch, where it was THE MOST PERFECT DAY. 

• Though we probably should've taken naps, we came home, had a cocktail, rallied, and got ready for our fantastic dinner at Limone's. I wish I had pictures, but, tragically, I do not. Just imagine it. 

TUESDAY. 

• The next morning, we piled into the SUV and headed to Charleston. Arrived at our beautiful hotel, Zero George. If you have plans to visit Charleston anytime soon, I cannot recommend this hotel enough. It is the most charming place - everything about it is lovely. The hotel itself is beautiful - eye candy around every corner - the rooms are spacious and cozy, and the staff is incredibly attentive. I really can't say enough about it - it's a "can't miss" and is hands-down my favorite hotel of all time. 

• We traipsed around Charleston for a bit - visited Battery Park, looked at the historic homes - came back, the girls put on our robes and enjoyed our champagne and cheese boards, courtesy of the hotel. I mean...are ya kiddin' me? I was basically pretending I was Beyonce at this point. 

• Quickly dressed for dinner at Le Farfalle. Don't have any pictures from here, either, but this is a newer restaurant in Charleston (has only been open 9 weeks). It's a great, romantic setting - house-made pasta. Jordan had a squid ink dish, and I had the housemade spaghetti in butter sauce, pictured below. Both were delish. (Thanks to their website for these pics!)

• We capped the evening with cocktails on the rooftop of The Restoration Hotel. So delicious and great service. I continued drinking my new favorite - grapefruit juice, Tito's, St. Germaine, and a splash of soda. To my immense disappointment, this drink already exists and is called a Greyhound. I'm still going to pretend I made it up. 
• Arrived back at the hotel to discover turn-down service and chocolates had been deposited in our room as a late-night treat. 

WEDNESDAY.

• Enjoyed a completely picturesque breakfast at the hotel. Zero George has lovely indoor and outdoor seating along with a breakfast that makes you feel like you've been teleported to France. I'm telling you, everything about this hotel is just drool-worthy. 

• The kids decided we were up for a bike ride, so we rented bikes from the hotel and cruised around the city for about an hour. 

• Had lunch at Chez Nous, a teeny tiny restaurant in Charleston that you can totally miss if you aren't looking for it. One of the best meals I've ever eaten, and I think everyone would agree. The restaurant itself is a tiny space, well-decorated and beautifully lit, and the (handwritten) menu is traditional French cuisine. The chefs create two options per course, so the quality is just out of this world. 

• We basically staggered out, woozy with total delight, and tried to window shop. Ended up waving the white flag and returning the hotel for pre-dinner naps. 
• I have no pictures of dinner - suffice it to say it was delicious. 
• For dessert, we headed to Peninsula Grill (a famous and very old-school Charleston restaurant) for their iconic coconut cake. We had a slice for every two people - the girls drank champagne, the guys drank cognac, and we tried to act like adults but were really giddy and giggly. Dad had to keep us in line as we grew louder and louder. 
• We came back to the hotel and played what has become a staple of family game night - a game I'd like to tell you about right now: 

1. It's called Telephone Pictionary, and here's how you play. 
2. Start with a stack of small sheets of paper - there should be one sheet for every player in your group. 
3. On the top sheet of paper, you write a phrase. It can be anything - the more nonsensical, the better. For example, one of mine was, "Mom tries to wink" (we'd been trying to teach her how to wink on this trip to hilarious failure). 
4. You then pass your entire stack, not just the top sheet, to the person to your left -- the person to your right passes their entire stack to you.
5. The clock is set for one minute. You read the phrase on the top sheet, then move that sheet to the bottom of the pile. You then have one minute to draw a depiction of whatever that person's phrase was - in this case, Emily had to draw, "Mom tries to wink." You can't use words - only pictures. 
6. After a minute, the whole stack gets passed again -- only this time, the next person has to write a description of the drawing they received. 
7. And so on and so forth, until your stack makes it back to you. The best part is the end, where you get to reveal what you actually wrote and how convoluted and strange it got by the end. I can guarantee that you will die laughing every time. 

• Part II tomorrow - we head to Kiawah! 

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