5 Small Ways To Eat Better.

I'm sure many of you, like me, are trying to do a little better in 2017. A new year always wipes the slate clean and gives us the chance to improve a bit - and I don't know about you, but I can always stand to do a better job with healthy eating. 

With that in mind, here are a few easy ways to clean up your diet. 

1. Watch added sugar. 

More than ever, experts are sure that sugar, not fat, is the culprit in so many American health issues like heart disease. And added sugar is everywhere -- from obvious places, like sugary cereals, to sneaky ones like pasta sauce and mayonnaise. Being mindful of the ingredients in what you eat can be a game-changer for your energy level, skin, and weight. This one can be especially important when reaching for something that sounds healthy, like an organic fruit popsicle, and then realizing that each individual pop has 18 grams of sugar. (Not that this happened to me this week. Oh wait. It did.)

2. Snack plan. 

Just like meal planning (which we'll get to), snack planning is something people rarely consider, but should. Back when I did The Whole30, I had to learn how to snack plan because there was so little I could "legally" eat. When I got hungry, I needed something immediate in my pantry or fridge to provide a little relief between meals, and I needed that thing to already be prepared - otherwise, I would head straight for the chips. When you get home from the grocery store, go ahead and make yourself a few little pre-portioned containers of snacks you can be proud of, like carrots and Greek yogurt, a small bag of grapes, or a container of nuts. It takes so little time and the payoff is HUGE. I actually bought the snack containers featured in the photo above and filled them up with snack food that I know I won't hate myself for eating. It's ready to grab in the fridge whenever I need it.  

3. Swap desserts for fruit. 

Ugh, I know. This one is annoying. And for the record, I don't mean you should do this 100% of the time because dessert is the best and sometimes you just have to go for it. But if you're anything like me, you eat dessert because you want something sweet at the end of a meal, and sometimes that means eating a dessert that isn't really that good. When we eat at home, I rarely make a dessert. Instead, Jordan and I have some plain Greek yogurt with granola and berries, or a couple of clementine oranges (that he makes me peel for him because he can't do it #marriage). It sounds like something on the truly skinny say, but it's a fact: fruit satisfies your sweet tooth. If it doesn't right away, give it some time - you'll be surprised how much you crave it. And if your sweet tooth doesn't ever completely go away, keep a secret stash of dark chocolate covered raisins in your cabinet that you don't tell your husband about. 

4. Meal plan. 

This one is similar to snack planning, but it lasts the whole week. I actually wrote a post on the benefits of meal planning that you can read here - suffice it to say that I'm a big fan. In addition to organizing your entire life and making your grocery store experience pleasant, it also allows you to be intentional about what you eat. I am definitely a grazer - I walk around the house eating a little of this and a little of that until I've accidentally spoiled whatever meal is next. Meal planning prevents that from happening because you aren't wondering, "What's for dinner??" 

5. Sit down and eat. 

Jord and I were talking about this just last night - making a meal an occasion is something we really try to prioritize. If I'm cooking (and I'm trying to cook at home at least 4 nights a week), then we set the table: placemats, napkins, cutlery, pitcher of tea or water on the table. We sit down, say the blessing, put on some music, and have dinner. Granted, we don't do this every time - we're still working on it - but on the nights we do, we both agree that it's so pleasant and a reminder that food is meant to be enjoyed and savored, not scarfed down or binged on. Sharing a meal with someone is really a holy experience, and it's so easy for me to forget that in the busyness of life. 

SO. Are you working on eating better? Tell me what your game plan is. I always need some tips. Come on, Eileen. Spill.

Fetch or Wretch? Golden Globes 2017.

PLUNGING NECKLINES! 

...sorry, reflex. In case you missed it, there were about 50 of them last night. 

Let's get right to it, shall we? 

Fetch. 

Evan Rachel Wood. 

I will always be wild about a well-fitted suit or jumpsuit on a woman. She is slaying this and I want to borrow it. Mmkay, ERW? But leave that freaky robot personality at home. Thanks. 

Lily Collins

This isn't something I would choose, but she is wearing the hell out of it. I'm realizing that this "lots of lace, frippery, maybe-looks-like-someone's-drapes" trend is really kind of everywhere this year, so I'm embracing it. With bad head styling, this could've been dated and terrible. But it wasn't. 

Annette Bening

I mean she just looks damn good. 57 years old and, radiant, statuesque. Get it, girl. 

Emma Stone

Again, not something I would've chosen, but it works perfectly on an actress who's selling a movie-musical about a whimsical fantasy world. Emma Stone is just off-beat enough to pull this off. Though I'm not wild about the color. 

Janelle Monae

Okay, okay, I know, hot take. I just think this is SO FABULOUS and super fun. It's kooky, yes, but it's also perfectly styled and perfectly her. Even her toenails are black and white! Get outta here! I love it. It's okay to hate it. But I love it. 

Viola Davis

LOTS of canary yellow on the red carpet last night, but this was my favorite. This is the epitome of "BAM." Everything about Viola Davis makes me want to sit at her feet and learn her ways, but this look is particularly powerful. You can't miss her, and thank God. 

Reese Witherspoon

Certainly not as striking as Viola, but this is a case study in doing it right. Every single detail - hair, makeup, jewelry, the fit of the dress - is perfectly tuned. Werk that old Hollywood glam, Reese! 

Natalie Portman

The last of the bright yellows, Natalie serves up some serious Jackie Kennedy realness. And who doesn't need that? Also, SHE'S PREGNANT. So, yeah. She wins. 

Naomie Harris

Just plan gorgeousness. Doesn't get any better. Not in love with the plunging neckline proportionally, but everything else is pretty freakin' on point. 

Honorable Mention Fetch: 

Mandy Moore

It's pretty fabulous, don't get me wrong. That neckline is just a SKOSH too wide and too deep for me. I don't know what it is, but it's making my eyes bleed. Everything else is so lovely - 70's vibes with the hair, the dress, the makeup...could also be that I have a pre-existing prejudice against Mandy because in the early aughts she BUGGED SO MUCH. 

Sarah Paulson

hm worst kerry.jpg

Dressing like the award she eventually won. It's not my favorite dress I've seen her in, but I love this lady too much to leave her out. Get it, Sarah Paulson, you fabulous creature. You earned it.

 

...but enough with the pretty. Ladies and gentlemen, we're gathered here today to discuss the 

Wretch. 

Anna Kendrick

worst anna kendrick.jpg

Oh, Anna Kendrick, how I wish you had not worn this. This dress, along with some unfortunate posing, gives the illusion that Anna is a mannequin who was assembled incorrectly. Her legs are facing square to the camera, her torso is turned to the side, and her head is facing back at us. Third graders across the country should study this photo as one of those Magic Eye images. This was so close to being good, but just...wasn't. 

Nicole Kidman

Shhhh. Nobody scare her. Everyone stand still. Nicole? (I'll handle it, she spooks easily.) Nicole, honey? Hey, it's okay, girl! It's okay. Shhhhh. I've got ya. I'm just gonna walk you over here into this limo and send you home, and when you wake up, this will all seem like a bad dream. 

Really, though, WHAT is happening. Free association with this dress: glitter baby shredder saloon STOP IT WITH THE NAKED DRESSES. 

Priyanka Chopra

8 pounds of makeup, a dress that is going to cause millions of "Is Priyanka Chopra pregnant" searches, and squished boobs. Girl, ya done missed the mark. 

SJP

I can't talk about this for reasons of loyalty, but for the sake of impartiality I had to include it. Anyway, next. 

Sophie Turner

Sad boobs. Right? Wasn't that your first thought? Asymmetry + droopy lines = sad. I cannot wait for this sheer dress trend to die. Why won't it die?? It's like the Hydra in Hercules - we manage to wrangle one sheer dress and three more pop up in its place. 

Sofia Vergara

hyrda.gif

Anna Chlumsky

I have a running theory that Anna Chlumsky has offended every gay man in Hollywood somehow, because I have yet to see her show up to an awards show looking her best. Everything about this, from the slick ponytail down to the chunky black peep-toes, is so terribly unfortunate. But I was always taught to say something nice instead of something mean, so...the color goes really well with the plants in the background? 

Blake Lively

I see where she was trying to go, but this is such an aging look. She looks like Elizabeth Taylor: The Later Years. You can do better than that, Blake. 

Carly Steel

I have absolutely no idea who this is, but WOW WOW WOW. Wow. I liked free association last time, so let's try it again: 

Bump-it, snake-neck, babyheads, mother of the bride. 

Fun! 

Felicity Jones

Just so I'm clear, are those ruffles at the top and on the sleeves sewn on/not real? I think so. And the ones at the bottom that look like sad little black palm trees. TOO MUCH. When did Toddlers and Tiaras become a design motif? BOWS! FRILLS! LACE! SMILE AT THE CAMERA HONEY! NOD YOUR HEAD! NOW DO A POUTY FACE AND WAG YOUR FINGER AT THE JUDGES! 

Chrissy Metz

chrissy metz worst.jpg

Let me be clear RIGHT upfront that this has nothing to do with Chrissy and everything to do with Christian Siriano, who designed this look. Listen, I gotta give it up for my boy Christian Siriano, who I LOVE: he has taken on the clients that other designers are too snooty for. When Leslie Jones complained that no high-level designer had offered her any gowns for the Ghostbusters premiere, Christian Siriano stepped up and designed for her. He loves "non-traditional" body types. But this is a design failure. Instead of highlighting Chrissy's assets, Christian made her look like a frumpy purple rectangle. Disappointing. 

UPDATE: It seems that, though this was billed as a Christian Siriano, it wasn't. Apparently he'd designed two custom gowns for her, and she chose to wear another designer's dress at the last minute. Whew. That's a relief. Sorry, Christian! Your track record is still sparkling. 

...and now for the very WORST. Worst worst worst. Worst. Can't even believe it happened. 

THE WRETCHEST OF THEM ALL...

CUBA GOODING, JR.! 

What what WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 

Is that your son's suit? 
Did you have a romp with someone and accidentally switched jackets with her in the backseat of the limo? 
Did you spill wine on your coat and had to trade with your doorman who is also a little person? 
Are you trying to raise awareness for some group of people whose clothes don't fit? 

Truly awful. 

But let's leave on a happy note, shall we? 

...close enough.

DNR - JTI: Retail Edition.

As usual, credit for "DNR - JTI" ("Do not respond, just take it") goes to the fabulous Mollie Erickson whose idea I totally plagiarized. 

When Jordan and I moved to Asheville in the summer of 2015, I had no jobs and no friends. I decided to take a part-time gig at a national retail chain (whose name I can't share for legal reasons -- theirs, not mine). I'd never worked retail, and I'd always kind of wanted to.

I've been working there almost a year and a half. I've learned some things. And I've seen some things. And today, I'm gonna share. 

Dear Shrill Woman Bossing Your Husband Around,
Hi. Over here! Right. I've been fifteen feet away from you for the past few minutes and have heard every single marching order you've yelled at this poor man. I think the whole store has overheard, actually. We really don't need to know that you think your husband lacks a butt to hold his pants up because he's "so weirdly shaped, like a potato with toothpicks." Also, please stop digging into the back o his pants to see what size they are. You literally have both your hands in the man's pants. We're all RIGHT HERE. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Middle Aged White Women,
You've done a really good job creating witch hunts about people of other races and ages being thieves, but now I know better. YOU are the thieves. I see you casually perusing the sale section, eyes darting around, before you stuff that bangle into your purse. I SEE YOU. I know what you're doing when you take too long in the fitting room. We see the tags you've cut out all over the floor. You assume no one would ever suspect you. Middle aged White women, you've pulled the wool over the world's eyes. But NOT ME. Prepare to be profiled. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Woman in the Fitting Room,
Are you doing okay in there? Anything else I can get you? OH. OH. Oh my goodness. You've opened the door and you're pants-less. And you're 90. You're now in the middle of the store yelling and asking why no one came to check on your sooner. You're having an Elaine Stritch moment and you're burning my retinas. Back into the fitting room with you. Shhhh. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Adult Man Who is Sweating Profusely and Shifting his Weight from Side to Side,
Yeah, we have a bathroom. Yikes, dude. Come on. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Teenager Messing Up a Perfect Pile of Sweaters,
I know you just saw me fold those. I know you did. I watched you watch me. And now you've not only knocked the stack over, you're going through each individual sweater, holding it up, and checking it for size. Cut the crap. You're not buying a sweater. You're 14 and you're carrying a skateboard. GET OUTTA HERE, KID. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Disgruntled Customer,
When you asked me to get different sizes of shoes for you to try on, it was my pleasure. Truly. It's my job.  When, however, after five tries, you decided that you "just aren't going to pay that much for flats," it got a bit irritating. On a similar note, I neither designed nor priced these shoes, so your disapproving glances are wasted on me. Hope you find what you're looking for, Cinderella. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Window Shoppers,
UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. DNR - JTI.

Dear Well-Intentioned Man,
It is so supremely thoughtful that you are going to buy your wife a gift with the leftover money from the return you just made. We've got some beautiful jewelry and some nice silk tops. But the spaghetti strap XXS black crushed velvet peplum top that you've chosen, while certainly fashionable, is going to miss the mark with your 45-year old wife who just had a baby and you told me is 5'11. I'm trying to help, here. Nope? Gonna buy it anyway? Mmk. DNR - JTI. 

Dear That Man's Wife,
Got a return for us? Yeah. I know. I tried to tell him. Let me show you the jewelry. DNR - JTI.