As always, credit where it's due to Mollie Erickson who invented DNR - JTI on her much funnier blog, found here.
Dear Mother Nature,
I feel like I've been pretty cool about this whole "real winter" thing you do in the mountains. I've lived with 3 or 4 months of totally grey skies and not complained too much. But you gave me spring, girl. Ya gave me SPRING. Flowers and warm weather and meals on the front porch. I put all our sweaters into a giant trunk. And then the temperature dropped 30 degrees. There were actually snowflakes yesterday. NOT COOL. Get right. DNR - JTI.
Dear Ladies at Pure Barre,
I'm coming to see you today for the first time, and I'm really nervous. I don't know how to "tuck." I don't have barre clothes. I do not have a ballerina body. Please go easy on me and my big athletic thighs. I feel like it's the first day of middle school all over again. DNR - JTI.
Dear Steven Spielberg,
Over the weekend, my husband suggested that we watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Now, I'm all for a classic movie, so I settled right in. Little did I know that this movie would drag on FOR THE LENGTH OF A BIBLE and only be compelling in the last 15 minutes. And don't even get me started on how Richard Dreyfuss just BAILS ON HIS FAMILY and joins the aliens. What the hell?! No. No, Steve. Swing and a miss. DNR - JTI.
Dear Tom Hanks the Dog,
You are seriously the best. Your ears are soft, you're fun to hang out with, and you seem to really like me. Your beard is such a people-pleaser. I freakin' love you so much. DNR - JTI. (But you wouldn't have responded anyway.)
Dear Ninja Coffeemaker,
Thanks for turning me from a one-cup-a-day person into a four-cups-a-day person with your convenience and deliciousness. You really brighten my morning and, though I know the crash is coming, the caffeine high is so great while it lasts. Keep doing you. DNR - JTI.
I'm sorry we haven't had groceries in our house for the last few days. I convinced myself that I could cook meals out of scraps/whatever we had in our pantry, zombie apocalypse style. And yet, all we ended up doing was ordering out. It was wasteful, but you were really patient and a good sport about eating pizza last night. And today for lunch. In your lunchbox. Spoiler alert. I love you! DNR - JTI.