Heavy metal.
Woooo boy, Chris Harrison really whiffed an interview with Rachel Lindsay, a former Bachelorette and the first Black lead in the franchise’s history (which is still a wild sentence to type, since that happened within the last 5 years). Lindsay is now an anchor at the Extra news desk, so she had Harrison on to talk about the season and the new allegations coming out against one of the cast members, Rachael Kirkconnell.
I won’t delve into the craziness of it all except to briefly recap: Kirkconnell, who is white, is being accused of racist behavior. Allegedly, she’s of made fun of a classmate for “liking Black guys;” went to an Old South party at her college; dressed up in as an Indigenous person at a party. Harrison came in hot, clearly upset about the idea of “cancel culture” and how harshly the Internet has dealt with Kirkconnell in the last few weeks.
Of course, like with many things, the Internet mob has gone too far in some places, digging up Kirkconnell’s parents’ voting record and declaring that because they’re Republicans, she must be a racist. So he’s not wrong (even Lindsay agreed there).
That said, the things being discussed are relevant to the moment we’re in as a country - and particularly so, because the lead of this season is Matt James, the franchise’s first Black male lead.
I think this conversation is worth watching, because in many ways, this is a case study in what not to do as a white person when discussing this sort of stuff. And by the way - I’m coming from a place of great humility in saying this, as I myself have been schooled again and again on my own mis-steps (and will 100% make more in the course of my lifetime). While he references the “love,” “respect,” and “grace” in his relationship with Lindsay and off-camera, all we see as an audience is Harrison steam-rolling a Black woman in a conversation about race.
At one point in the interview, Lindsay expresses that she thinks the reason it’s become a big deal is that Kirkconnell hasn’t spoken out or given a statement, despite having had six weeks to do so. There is a marked tonal shift, and Harrison, visibly upset, responds:
“When do you jump in? When is the time? And who is Rachel Lindsay, and who is Chris Harrison, and who is whatever ‘woke police’ person out there - who are you? And I’ve heard this a lot: ‘I think she should ______,’ ‘I think he should _____,’ - who the hell are you? Who are you that you demand this?” (5:20ish minutes)
Later in the interview, Lindsay asks if the Bachelor franchise will make a statement about any of the allegations. Again, angry*, Harrison responds:
“I don’t think it is incumbent upon the Bachelor franchise to speak out on everything that everyone wants to hear about on social media. …We’re not in the business of dealing with every problem that you have. That’s not how this works. We don’t have the time of day to handle everything that comes up on social media.” (12ish minutes)
Maybe the worst moment is when he launches into a monologue about whether “erasing history” is a good or a bad idea, then talks about how we should “give people time” to make statements:
“The ‘woke police’ is out there and this poor girl Rachael, who has just been thrown to the lions - I don’t know how you are equipped when you’ve never done this before, to be ‘woke’ enough, to be eloquent enough, to be ready to handle this. My guess is, this woman needs a little time. …We don’t give people time to have some perspective and try to drink this in for a second, see how this affects their life, and then speak on it.” (5:30ish minutes)
Certainly, people should have a moment to acknowledge what they’ve done wrong and to change some behavior. But what Harrison is missing there is the impact these things have on Black people, who are never given the luxury of “time” to deal with it. And it’s especially tone-deaf to say this to Lindsay, who had to deal with an openly racist cast member…on her own season. Someone whose social media made that clear, and who should’ve been filtered out of the pool of candidates from the beginning.
To get into the technicalities, I think what we’re seeing here is Harrison being hamstrung by the fact that he can’t discuss that Kirkconnell won the season and can’t speak on anything because, typically, contestants don’t issue any kind of statement about what has happened on the show until it’s finished airing - an unspoken rule that saves the drama for The Women Tell All or After The Final Rose, the only live shows within the season. I sense that his frustration is that she simply can’t address it, and so he’s stepping in as her proxy. He has a franchise to defend, and, to my ears, a winner to defend (why else would he be getting so worked up if Kirkconnell isn’t Matt’s final selection?).
BUT.
Even his salient points are muffled by the mis-steps he made in constantly talking over a Black woman about issues of race, making constant, sneering remarks about "woke-ness,” and an overall tonal failure. It stopped being about Kirkconnell and became about how, in having a conversation where he encourages the country to treat her with nuance and grace, Harrison exhibits neither.
The real star is here is Lindsay, who kept her cool completely, listened, and extended generosity to her friend, showing Harrison exactly what he should have been doing all along. Especially poignant to note that as a Black woman, and a would-be victim of Kirkconnell’s alleged racism, she’s the one being forced to care for the white person in the conversation.
It’s a great learning opportunity for all of us white people, and a reminder of how ugly we can look when our own overconfidence and defensiveness gets the better of us when we feel personally slighted.**
*And also if a woman had acted this angry and defensive the Internet would be treating her like she was unhinged.
It’s difficult to see how The Bachelor, a franchise that’s beloved, is going to survive when it’s already had a fair share of controversy surrounding sexual assault, racial misfires, and cyber-bullying in the extreme. It’ll have to be a major pivot, but how to do that without sacrificing the show’s core conceit? I really don’t know.
**A post-post note, updated Monday, 2/15: Chris Harrison has stepped aside from the franchise for an undisclosed amount of time. The issue is more complicated than I originally understood, and it’s clear that the thoughts Harrison expressed in this interview weren’t just flippant, but representative of more deeply held beliefs and biases that perpetuate systemic racism. He’s now issued two apologies and I hope for the best in his learning and experience moving forward as, hopefully, an advocate for anti-racism.
Indie pop.
On to happier things, like GALENTINE’S DAY ON SATURDAY!!! Y’all, Galentine’s has become a much bigger deal to me than Valentine’s. If you’re like me, Valentine’s Day is stuffed with all these weird expectations. You don’t want to be “that girl,” who expects a lot of frilly, frothy, cutesy stuff and a lot of attention, buuuut…aren’t you always slightly disappointed if you don’t at least get a bouquet of flowers? Anyone?
Jordan and I remedied this expectations death trap a while ago by declaring that Valentine’s Day was “pizza and board game night,” which is always really fun. But Galentine’s? Now that’s a holiday I can get excited about.
Galentine’s Day started on the show Parks and Recreation, where Leslie Knope, a feminist icon of joy and transformative optimism, founded February 13th as the day when we celebrate the women in our lives and what they’ve brought to the world.
I’m gathering (outdoors, distanced, and masked) on Saturday with a few of my nearest and dearest women to celebrate the joy that is female friendship. I hope you’ve got plans, even if it’s a group text where you name specifically what you love about each other.
GIRLS ARE GREAT! If you’re a Galentine reading this, I love you and I’m so glad you’re here. You bring so much to the table! Go eat a heart-shaped pizza to celebrate yourself!
Pop culture corner.
I, like many of you, watched Framing Britney Spears on Hulu this week. It’s an important watch, I think. There are so many elements that still ring true today, and so many ways the culture has shifted since the early aughts. For those of us who grew up with Britney as the queen she is, it’s chilling to see all the tabloid stuff laid bare. Especially for anyone who’s transitioned into motherhood, watching a 25-year-old new mom be hounded by paparazzi while battling postpartum depression in an extremely public way is truly devastating. The Justine Timberlake of it all and the constant conversation around her virginity was so gross - I wrote a little about that in an essay series I did on teenage sex and purity culture, which you can read here. Justice for Britney.
Part One of the RHSLC reunion was just. absolutely. everything. This franchise is giving me life. Thank you, Bravo. And thank you, Vanessa Bayer.
My follow recommendation for the week is a podcast! I know there are a lot of fellow Office fans out here. Have you listened to the Brian Baumgartner (AKA Kevin Malone) podcast “An Oral History of The Office” on Spotify? It is a fantastic listen, with interviews with every major cast members, creator, show runner, and director. It will put a lump in your throat and a smile on your face, guaranteed. Listen if only to hear Kevin not sound like Kevin.
Happy weekend, friends - I hope you spend the weekend celebrating the love in your life, both big and small. I’m certainly grateful for you. ❤️