5 Things: Prayers for the Stanford Case

It is very early. I'm sipping my first cup of coffee as the pink light glows through my window. Today's going to be busy - lots to see and certainly lots to do. But even in this early hour, thoughts are bouncing around in my head.

I'm not foolish enough to think that there hasn't already been enough said - and said better than I could say it - on this topic. I mean, gosh, Joe Biden wrote a beautiful response that everybody should just re-post. The women of Girls made a powerful infomercial about it.  

So in the stillness of this morning, what I've got are prayers. 

For the people at the center of news stories - the villains, the antagonists. For those whose darkest parts have bubbled to the surface; whose names will forever bring to mind a tragic story. Receive our indignation, but make us humble. Help us to wholly and loudly condemn their actions; help us to keep our stones uncast in our pockets. Close our mouths when hateful words are leaping out; keep us mindful that beneath all our floorboards lives a part of ourselves we try to keep hidden, even from You. Narrow our focus on defending those in need; soften our hearts so that we remember that we are in need of so much. Keep angry name-calling out of our words; turn that holy fire into acts of love and prayer. Make the unrepentant penitent - especially when the "unrepentant" includes us. Turn our begrudging hearts to those we don't want to look at directly, who now face the wrath of an unforgiving world. We pray for redemption, for clean hearts, for the brokenness of a world in which acts of violence (and defending those acts of violence) are simply the horrible expressions of the most confused and angriest among us. Make us unrelenting defenders of justice. We pray to the Lord. Lord, in Your mercy - 

For the victims - dragged into the spotlight with no choice in the matter. Our hearts ache. Make us not just spectators, detail-collectors, or gossips - make us people of action. Make us people who say, "I am listening. I am here." We hold these wonderful, blameless, brave, everyday people in mind - we honor their struggle and their tears; we celebrate their triumphs and their speaking out. We don't understand, but open our eyes and our ears to Your children. Help us to be wise enough to know this chapter has been written on the souls of these women, but that they are not this chapter alone. We ask that your presence be known among them, that in their waking and sleeplessness and crying and laughter alike, in their loneliness, whether they've told their stories or locked them away, that they are loved and cherished. We pray to the Lord. Lord, in Your mercy - 

For the cyclists - and the cyclists in all of us. For the Samaritans who stopped and spoke out. These are the people You've called us to be- unafraid of getting entangled with an undesirable situation, and, instead, hurling ourselves toward the center of where it hurts. Forgive us for the many opportunities we've missed, and keep our eyes wide open to see them in the future. However tiny, however huge, we know that "love" is an action verb. Cover us anew with a higher regard for our fellow man than for ourselves. Amplify the voice within each of us that whispers, "How can you help?" Make our days testaments to the love we have shown, because walking alongside You means we stop at every chance we get. Strip us of our money, our clothes, our energy, burn our wicks down for our brothers and sisters. We pray to the Lord. Lord, in your Mercy - 

For women - navigating a world that is unsafe. For women who clutch their keys while walking through a darkened parking lot, who carry a weapon on a walk around the neighborhood, who accidentally leave their pepper spray in the car and feel uneasy all night because of it. For women whose closest friends have become the source of their deepest wounds. For women who have been made to feel that their behavior or their attire was consent enough. For the complicated relationship women have with their bodies after someone has tried to lay claim on it. For the women whose stories go untold because of their color or sexual orientation, and the women whose stories aren't trusted because of their gender. We ask for light in the blackest corners of our world, so that no one has to suffer in anonymity. We pray to the Lord. Lord, in Your mercy - 

For every person who has encountered this story - stumbling across it online or hearing about it on the news. Break our hearts in despair. Sit with us as we cry in confusion. And then, in our sadness, turn our faces toward our sons. In our grief, make us teachers. Give us strong words to use. Speak through our fumbling and discomfort. Use these moments of awkwardness around the dinner table as stakes in the garden; as a strong foundation around which the lives of our children can grow and thrive. Snap us to attention so that we sing the worth of every person at every opportunity. Make "humility" and "respect" and "consent" fall out of our mouths so often that we're met with rolling teenage eyes because they've heard us say it so many times before. Make us blessedly redundant. We pray to the Lord. Lord, in Your mercy - 

Hear our prayer. 

 

 

 

The Newlywed Game: Jordan and Me

Earlier this week, I saw someone post these questions on Facebook as a really fun way to pass the time on a roadtrip. Well, we accidentally forgot to do them on the way back from Tulsa, so we're doing them now.

We both answered these sets of questions separately and without discussing them or cheating, then read our answers out loud to each other. Jordan did a lot better guessing mine than I did guessing his. Ha! Hope these make you giggle! 

ROUND ONE: I ask and Jordan answers. 

Me: What is something I always say to you? 
Jordan: You call me "Stink!" a lot.  
My answer: "Stink!'

Me: What makes me happy? 
Jordan: Food.
My answer: You and Tom Hanks! And food.  

Me: What makes me sad?
Jordan: Mean people and sad things. Um, more specifically, like...hurt animals and/or dead animals; being away from people you love (or Tom Hanks). 
My answer: Feeling like I'm career-aimless right now. 

What was I as a child?
Jordan: Angsty. 
My answer: You'll say I was angsty. 

How old am I?  
Jordan: How what? You're 27. Of course. 27 years, 4 months, and 14 days old. 
My answer: 27. You better get this right. 

What's my favorite thing to do?
Jordan: *Gives me a look as if to say, "Is this gonna be okay if I say it out loud?"* then says, "Eat? I mean, I'm sorry, but that's true. Also people - you love people." 
My answer: Watch bad TV and hang out with you guys. And blog. And sing. And eat, honestly. 

How tall am I? 
Jordan: Are't you like 5' 5 3/4'' and you tell people you're 5'6''? 
My answer: 5'6''. 

What do I do when you're not around? 
Jordan: Watch bad TV and, uh...text. Um, chores: groceries, cleaning, other inside chores. I guess, also work. 
My answer: Chores and watch trashy TV.

If I become famous, what will it be for?
Jordan: I think writing, honestly.
My answer: Maybe singing or writing? 

What am I good at?
Jordan: What are you good at? You're good at a lot of things, that's not very fair. I mean, how do you start listing, alphabetically or chronologically? (He then went on to say about 5 minutes' worth of REALLY nice things that made me glad we got married.) 
My answer: I guess singing and writing, and maybe cooking? 

What makes you proud of me? 
Jordan: You take really good care of our family. And everyone that meets you loves you! And when you say something really funny. 
My answer: You like that I'm a good cook and that I'm a generally nice person. 

What is my favorite food?
Jordan: Mashed potatoes. 
My answer: Mashed potatoes.

Where is my favorite place to eat?
Jordan: Dining room table. Oh, sorry, I misunderstood. Any Mexican place or any pizza place. Or somewhere expensive. 
My answer: Mexican or pizza. Doesn't really matter where. My standards are very low. 

Where is my favorite place?
Jordan: Home, but that to you is still your parents' house.
My answer: Anywhere my family is. 

How old was I when we met? 
Jordan: 25. Wait. No. 24. 
My answer: 23.

When is our anniversary?
Jordan: August 2nd. 
My answer: 8/2/14

If I could go anywhere, where would it be? 
Jordan: Is it Italy where you want to go so bad? 
My answer: Greece or Italy. 

Do you think you could live with me forever?
Jordan: Yeah, that's what I signed up for. Right?? 
My answer: You're contractually obligated to, so this question is null. 

How do I annoy you? 
Jordan: Do you want the list chronologically or alphabetically? Haha!
My answer: With games like this. 

What is your favorite thing about me?  
Jordan: Your personality. I just like you. 
My answer: You'll say something like, "Your butt - I mean, heart!" 

 

ROUND TWO: Jordan asks and I answer.  

What is something I always say to you? 
Mary: "Mary..." (in a warning tone because I'm about to accidentally hurt myself somehow.)
Jordan's answer: "Unbelievable."

What makes me happy? 
Mary: Tom Hanks and me. And fishing.
Jordan's answer: Being outside and in the woods. And my little family.

What makes me sad?
Mary: People who can't defend themselves from being picked on or bullied. 
Jordan's answer: People who can't defend themselves getting taken advantage of.

What was I as a child? 
Mary: Independent. 
Jordan's answer: What does this even mean? I've been sitting here for like 5 minutes and can't figure that out. Probably good sometimes and bad sometimes, happy, sad, fun, mean, loud, quiet, etc...

How old am I?  
Mary: 28. 
Jordan's answer: I'm 28. <who the hell doesn't know that IN THE NEWLYWED GAME?! Their own age or their NEW spouse's?!>

What's my favorite thing to do?
Mary: Be outside in nature. And fish. And hang out with us. 
Jordan's answer: Hiking and/or fishing with MC and TH.

How tall am I? 
Mary: You are exactly 6'0''. 
Jordan's answer: 6'0"

What do I do when you're not around?
Mary: Fly fish, mostly. Or watch bad sci fi movies that you know I'll hate.
Jordan's answer: Fish, read, hike... you know, stuff.

If I become famous, what will it be for? 
Mary: Inventing something or being a great teacher later in life. 
Jordan's answer: Probably something dentist-y but I wish it was something more interesting. <Jeez, I can't even be creative in my own fantasy. My power of flight! Oh wait, did I just say that out loud?>

What am I good at? 
Mary: Eye roll because you're good at (and know you're good at) a lot. But I love how good you are at crazy crafting/woodworking, I love your curveball skill of being a great sketch artist, and obviously you're a very good doctor.
Jordan's answer: This is a loaded question - pass.

What makes you proud of me?
Mary: I love how great you are with other people - you can always make a situation fun and make everybody in the room feel comfortable. You're very funny (don't let it go to your head), and I really do admire you as a medical professional. You're very gentle and kind to your patients, but still execute at a very high level. 
Jordan's answer: She sometimes mentions: how hard I work, that I try to be nice to people, <All of these questions seem so ego-stroking. Eesh.>

What is my favorite food? 
Mary: You don't really have favorite food like I do, as in you don't really crave anything ever. But you do love my cooking (tomato soup particularly) and cheesecake. 
Jordan's answer: Don't have one but I enjoy pretty much everything. Maybe just 'good food.'

Where is my favorite place to eat?
Mary: Outside? I don't know. 
Jordan's answer: Same as above. Depends.

Where is my favorite place? 
Mary: Around your family. 
Jordan: Home (in Asheville).

How old was I when we met? 
Mary: 24.
Jordan's answer: 24. 

When is our anniversary? 
Mary: 8/2/14
Jordan's answer: August 2, 2014

If I could go anywhere, where would it be?
Mary: Probably a tour of the National Parks. You would love that. 
Jordan's answer: Some amazing national park with amazing views, but not one specifically. Maybe the Patagonia/Andes of Argentina. Or Switzerland. If domestic, Yosemite National Park or British Columbia.

Do you think you could live with me forever? 
Mary: As you said when we got married, "These rings are like tiny handcuffs." 
Jordan's answer: That's what the contract says.

How do I annoy you?
Mary: You sometimes come and mess with me while I'm cooking, which I hate because I'm too spastic to be trusted not to horribly injure myself. But my big one is BEARD CLIPPINGS IN THE SINK. 
Jordan's answer: I'm grouchy when I'm tired/hungry, I hate traffic, I don't sit-still-and-not-do-things very well.

 What is your favorite thing about me?
Mary: You are kind and tender-hearted despite your acerbic wit and attempts at looking callous sometimes. Hehe! And your height.
Jordan's answer: Hopefully my personality or something along those lines. Also, I'm tall(ish).

 

HA! Hope you enjoyed this goofiness. Try it out on your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend - it's actually kind of hysterical. 

Happy Thursday! 

 

Puppy Birthday Cake

I can already see your eyes rolling. I know. It's bad. The obsession has reached critical mass. 

But if you're like me (have no children and love your dog more than just about anything), then you probably get it. 

On the 27th, our little pup turned two! Can't believe it's been two years since we took him home when he was four weeks old. He was SO teeny, and we weren't sure his little snub nose was ever going to pop out. Turns out he got to be pretty handsome. 

4 weeks old in this picture. I mean, come on.&nbsp;

4 weeks old in this picture. I mean, come on. 

Since we were in Tulsa for his actual birthday, I made him a cake yesterday and thought I'd share the recipe in case you fellow Crazy Dog People ever need it. It's so simple and, with a bundt pan, can be so pretty! 

Ingredients:
1 cup carrots
1 t baking soda
1 large egg
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
1 cup flour (if your dog has a grain allergy, you can use almond or potato flour here) 
1/4 cup cooking oil
(And one dog toy stuffed monkey for good measure.) 

Directions: 

1. Preheat oven to 350. Give your carrots a rough chop so they look something like this. 

2. The rest is purely measuring and dumping. In a large bowl, add the carrots and remainder of your ingredients: 

3. Stir mixture together until well-combined. Spray a bundt pan (or 9x9 cake pan) with non-stick cooking spray and add mixture. 

4. Pop that bad boy in the oven for 40 minutes, then remove to cool. If you're extra insane like me, you can make a melted frosting out of peanut butter while it's still hot by adding a dollop of peanut butter to an icing spatula. And add candles, of course. Because we might as well.

After the cake has cooled, ask your husband to video. But definitely cut it up, because otherwise your dog will be confused. And your husband will probably make everyone a little sick by turning the camera sideways mid-way through the video. And make sure your bra strap is hanging out. All necessary ingredients. But your dog? Your dog will LOVE IT. 

Happy birthday, my sweet buddy!! I love you so much! 

5 Things: Reasons I Love Traveling with Jordan

This week, Jordan and I are at a beautiful resort hotel in Myrtle Beach, SC. He's doing some continuing education work, but we're still getting to spend lots of time together! Yesterday while the weather was cloudy, I stayed inside and watched Downton Abbey for about 4 hours. And I'm not even sorry. 

Most of the time when we travel, we're with people and/or only gone for the weekend. This is the first trip since our honeymoon where we've had several days in a row getting to relax and spend lots of time together, and I am gobbling it up. 

So, in honor of that, here are five things I love about traveling with my husband. 

1. He will eat anything. 

I don't mean he has low standards, I mean he'll try anything. Weird, cultural foods are his jam. He loves to try something new if the occasion calls for it, and that's one of my favorite things about him. Last night at dinner, he had the waiter choose for him (because he likes almost everything). The guy brought him salmon Rockefeller and he gobbled up every bite. I think the reason I like this quality in him so much is that it speaks to his low maintenance personality - he's just here to have a good time. 

2. He doesn't sweat the small stuff.

I am the planner in our marriage. I know what's happening, when, how long it will take to get there, what the attire is, who'll be there - I RSVP, send the gifts, and book the plane tickets. That is my role. But since this is his trip, I took a backseat and decided to just show up and go with it. True story: we drove here (a little over 5 hours), and about 30 minutes before we arrived, at 11:15 PM, I confirmed the hotel with Jordan. "Yeah, that's right," he said, "But text someone to make sure." (His entire dental office is also down here, so that's who he was getting confirmation from.) Turns out, we had the wrong hotel. I, of course, was basically bleeding into my brain stem that it was almost midnight and we didn't know where we were staying. But he was fine and we got it figured out within minutes. In the scheme of life, having every plan perfectly nailed down isn't that important. Jordan reminds me that we all have to loosen the hell up sometimes. 

(To be perfectly clear, I will still want to know what hotel we're staying in well before we arrive in the future. Just in case you're reading this, Jord.) 

3. He'll take pictures with me. 

I know that many men are pretty irritated the minute their wives pull out their cell phone and try to snap pictures. Rightfully so - I don't blame them. We take too many pictures. We can't help it. Though Jordan definitely has his limit (example: selfie, take a picture of me by myself, now take a picture with me again, oh wait my hair was doing something weird, etc.), he is almost always such a good sport about posing for as many pictures as I want to take. He says, "It may not be my favorite thing, but I'll want to remember this at some point." 

4. He is happy first thing in the morning. 

I don't know about you, but I am a groggy, nasty wreck first thing in the morning. I'm not one of those, "Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee," people, but it definitely takes me a second to get up and moving. Jordan, on the other hand, is happy right when he opens his eyes. For example, this morning he woke up, snuggled up to me, and started laughing at me because I'd put my pajama pants on backwards last night. #classic Even in the middle of the night if I have to get up for some reason, he's so pleasant and unbothered. This makes traveling a breeze - no grumpiness to fight through, just happiness. 

5. He is a big, curious nerd. 

Any of you who know Jordan personally know that he is a giant nerd. If we go to a park or zoo, he loves to read every SINGLE placard in the joint - all the details about the specific types of trees and/or animals. If we're stargazing, he loves to talk about star death. And if we're beach walking, like we were yesterday, he loves to search for shark teeth (for his dad) and identify every living creature we see along the way. It's a precious habit and always reminds me that stopping to be curious about the natural world pays off in fascinating little bits of information. 

SO let me go ahead and use all the cliches about him: "I love doing life with you!" "THIS guy." "So happy to be in a beautiful place with my favorite person." 

...but really, he is my favorite person. And I'm really glad we got married. 

My kids.

I'm not a mother, but I have approximately 160 kids. 

After I graduated college, I was placed in York, Alabama teaching middle school social studies. Despite living in Alabama my whole life, I'd never heard of York as long as I lived. But that's where I taught some of the greatest people I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing. 

I don't talk a lot about my experience with Teach For America - not in any depth, I mean. It's one of those things that's hard to sum up in a little pearl over dinner, or explain in depth to someone who hasn't lived it. I even have trouble articulating it well to my husband, who I met near the end of my two-year commitment. 

This Friday, my 8th graders from the 2011-2012 school year will graduate high school. It's so hard to believe that four years have passed, and that those 13 and 14 year olds are now 17 and 18 year olds. I'll be in South Carolina that week on a trip with Jordan, so in lieu of making it to their graduation, I drove to York this past weekend and hugged their necks. 

It is really easily to get self-congratulatory when talking about Teach For America. On its face, the program looks prestigious on a resume and is something recognizable to say that you're doing after college. It is hard, hard work - likely the hardest work a person will ever do - to teach in a failing school district. People consider it an "accomplishment" to have done so.

But the truth is, there are career teachers who show up to work every day in classrooms like the ones I taught in - not for two years, but for thirty. And the students who fill those classrooms and defy statistics by graduating high school and going on to college - THAT is an accomplishment. THAT is something a person deserves congratulations for - yes, indeed, they do. 

When I went to York on Saturday, every single kid I saw is graduating high school and attending college. And many of the ones I didn't get to see are, too. They worked so very hard, made great grades, and will graduate with every bit of prestige and honor they deserve. The odds were against them, and it didn't matter. They crushed it. My heart is bursting. 

There are, of course, students who chose to drop out for one reason or another, and it is those students who have been truly failed by education in this country. Those students will now move through the world without a high school degree, when a four-year college or technical degree is not just an asset, but a requirement, to find gainful employment -- those are the students for whom we should all be in prayer, as we should be in prayer for our governments and systems that see them slip through the cracks each year, unnoticed, unmourned, and underserved. It's not in me to place the blame for something like that on the shoulders of my kids. Can't really do that. 

If you're reading this post, you probably don't know my kids. You most likely never will. So let me introduce them to you: they are hysterical, they are sharp as tacks, with wittiness and genuine comedy chops that would bowl you over. They are resilient - some came to school hungry, or with devastating family issues, or worse - and fought through it to get an education. They are kind and supportive of one another and of me, when I was their teacher. Their dreams span across becoming legislators to Army police officer, welders, forensic analysts, attorneys, doctors, nurses, athletes and musicians. They will knock you dead with their fabulousness.  

There are few that I love more fervently and intensely than I love my students. I could never be more proud of anyone, until I have children of my own, than these wonderful people. 

Below is a picture of my precious kids at their 8th grade graduation from York West End Junior High School. I can't WAIT to see their photos from their "real" graduation this Friday. Their grades, their plans, their hopes, their triumphs - they are spectacular. I was just glad to be their backup dancer. 

Congratulations to the class of 2016 - there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Love y'all so, so much. 

Some Thoughts on Downton Abbey

Hi, I'm Mary Catherine, and I'm late to the party. 

I just started watching Downton Abbey a couple of weeks ago. I've already burned through season one and am about midway through season two. Here are some thoughts so far. (No spoilers, don't worry.) 

  • Cora Crawley's voice is so annoying that I can barely watch this show. Elizabeth McGovern's complete refusal to open her mouth any wider than the height of a raisin is infuriating beyond words. I did a long rant on Snapchat a few days ago about this, and it seems a lot of people agree. 
  • The clothes are just magnificent. I like that the wardrobe department made the choice to let us see outfits over and over again, instead of treating the characters as though they have bottomless wardrobes. I like that we see dresses repeated. 
  • I get that Mary and Edith hate each other, but DAMN they're so mean to each other in season one! Woof. 
  • I love the love story between Anna and Mr. Bates, but they're such a physical mis-match that it's kind of unbelievable to me. I don't know why I feel that way. But I do. 
  • Otherwise, they've done such a good job casting people who physically represent the roles they play. One look at any of these folks and you know whether they're aristocracy or servants; heroes or villains. 
  • Matthew Crawley's character went from cringe-worthy to romantic hero in a matter of episodes. Kind of impressive. 
  • Not that I expected any different, but Maggie Smith is for sure the best part of the show. 
  • Thomas and Mrs. O'Brien are almost too evil. It's like comically evil at this point.
  • Lady Sybil is so beautiful it's distracting. That girl has a face like a Christmas ornament. 
  • There are moments that are so soap opera-y and cheesy that it's hard to watch sometimes. Like at the end of a scene when a character will say something very cryptic and then the music will swell and it will cut to another scene. This is like watching Days of our Lives, which I've never watched, but you get the point. 
  • I wish someone had done a tally of how many times Lady Mary's hand flies to cover her mouth as she breaks down in tears. Spoiler: it's a lot. 
  • Besides being eye candy with its gorgeous landscapes and period dress, Downton Abbey is interesting as a bit of historical fiction. I'd honestly never considered what happened to families in the upper echelon of society during wartime.   
  • Even if this show devolves into ridiculousness, as least it's pretty to watch. 

What do you think? Have you watched it? Is it worth sticking with?