Welcome to a SPOOOOOOOKY edition of The Final Countdown!! We're smack in the middle of week 33 and things.
are.
getting.
REAL.
My face is huge, my back is aching, everything about pregnancy is starting to hit in full force. I've finally started expanding sideways in addition to front-ways. It's...not as cute as it was.
But stare at me for 10 minutes anyway!
One of the things I love to do more than anything on this earth is host visitors in our house. I was always so concerned in the months before we made this move that we'd be largely alone in Asheville, but it turns out we get to see our friends and families more here than we did in Alabama, in some cases!
Particularly in the fall, Asheville is covered up top-to-bottom with tourists who we call "leafers," in town to watch the Blue Ridge Mountains change from this
to this:
(I know, right? Pretty spectacular).
So I thought it'd be the perfect time of year to talk about little things I learned from my mom that I like to do when hosting guests, besides putting out fresh towels.
Buying flowers can get expensive, so lots of times I source the blooms from my yard, or even just use the greenery. A little bit of "living thing" in a room totally changes the feel. I try to put two large arrangements in the den, kitchen, and guest bedroom, and small arrangements (usually in Mason jars) in each bathroom.
As you can see in the background of this photo, the first weekend we moved up here, we had a big arrangement of wildflowers in our den. Also very funny to look back on this decorating from three years ago. We've come a long way, baby.
This is another direct result of growing up in my mother's house, but we usually have bowls of treats (my signature is seasonal M&M's) all over the place. One in the kitchen, one in the guest room, and one on the table in front of the TV.
I know. It's an issue.
Really, it's less about candy specifically, and more about having something for people to easily reach for. I've found that if you ask your guests, "Are you guys feeling hungry?" the answer is always, "Not really!" because no one wants to put you out or make you work.
But if you just MAKE the food and put it out ANYWAY, it always mysteriously gets eaten...funny how that works. ;)
So just put it out! I always have a cheese board ready when people are coming in from out of town, just so folks can immediately have something to nibble on and don't feel like they're inconveniencing me. I also like to play a fun game with myself to see if I can remember people's favorites and buy them in advance - favorite beer, favorite kinds of cheese, favorite chips, etc. I may or may not have a running list in a drawer. Don't tell.
Normally I cook a full breakfast (eggs, bacon, yogurt, granola, berries, OJ, etc.), but this is a perfect quick option: Sister Schubert cinnamon rolls served with fruit and carried out onto the front porch to enjoy the fall temps.
Another "my mom" touch. We bought these glass bottles for about $5 each Michael's a few years ago and they have paid for themselves about 1,000 times over with how many times we've put them to use.
When we have company, each guest has a glass bottle filled with water and fresh, clean glasses on their nightstand. If I'm REALLY doing a good job, I make sure to go up and re-fill the water bottles at some point during each day.
We also happened to have an extra Keurig, because Jordan's sweet parents got us a Ninja coffeemaker for Christmas two years ago. So we moved our old Keurig to the guest room, stocked a glass canister with pods of coffee and tea, and I always stick an extra mug or two up there in case our guests are super-early risers (as in, before 6 AM) and want to have a cup of coffee without waking the whole house up.
No photo to go along with this one, and this may be showing my cards too much, but when guests are coming for a weekend, I like to sit down with a legal pad and map out the trip. It's helpful for my type-A brain to go ahead and plan what we're going to do, because there is SO MUCH in Asheville and often we only get one full day with our guests, as Friday and Sunday are travel days.
One of the most important things I've found is to also include rest time in the "plan." The perfect weekend tends to balance activities and downtime. As much of an extrovert as I am, I also really need time to be quiet and re-charge - so if I'M feeling tired or overexerted socially, I know my friends are. Laying around on the couch and drinking makes for some of the best memories anyway, don'tcha think?
Like so.
Okay, so I only made it to four things. Sue me. Hopefully that inspires some ideas and makes you want to call your friend to invite them over! These little touches really are so fun to do and are all about thanking people for driving to see us. So - how comfortable can you make your guests?
Happy hosting!
So it's 3:10 in the afternoon as I'm starting to write this down. I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a bowl of white and orange mini-pumpkins carefully arranged in a piece of servingware at the center of the table. There's a fall themed candle burning to my right, and a stack of children's books gifted to my impending newborn on the left. It is 67 degrees and I am looking at the fiery leaves of the Blue Ridge Mountains through the window of my house.
And I am crying big huge tears.
Why?
I don't know that I really know, to tell you the truth.
I think it started because I was feeling really overwhelmed about whether or not I chose the right car seat.
But from there, I started thinking about the baby that will be sitting in that car seat, and how excited I am. And then how much I hope that everything goes well with its delivery and first few days on this planet.
And then I started to worry a little about this planet, because everything just seems to be exploding around us.
I can't reconcile the actions of the President. I don't think anyone can. I think there are people who voted for him and are so sorry they did, and if they aren't, then I think they probably know they ought to be sometimes. I know there are people who aren't ever sorry and who don't think they should be even an iota of sorry, and it makes me sad and scared that some folks in the country think everything he says is good and right. I don't recognize the country around me, and I don't know who I can talk to about it because a great majority of people I know helped elect a man who is devastating me.
I feel so heavy, wanting to talk about the bad things, but not knowing what to say. I'm so grossed out by Harvey Weinstein. I'm so supportive of the Black athletes who are taking a knee, and of the White players who have spoken in favor of those actions. I want politics to stop being driven by what special interest pays our elected officials the most money and to stop ruining the optimism of our young politicians. I think gun reform should be easy and common sense. I don't understand why it hasn't been. Puerto Rico is something we should all still be talking about. And what about education reform, and animal abuse, and homelessness, and normalizing mental illness, and gender inequality?
And then I see people just screaming into the void on Facebook and Twitter, unwilling or unable to listen to anyone but those who agree with them, the progressives and hardline conservatives spiraling themselves deeper down the wells they're into which they're shouting. I throw out my two cents on Twitter and almost always wish I hadn't.
I kind of hate my phone. I kind of hate Instagram. I hate the compulsive need to check in with what's going on in a robot lightbulb box of doom.
I watch too much reality TV but it's because I feel like engaging is so hard sometimes. I want to learn to meditate and yet I fear what would bubble to the surface. I am against animal cruelty but I had McDonald's for lunch.
I don't think I'm the only person feeling this way in the world. Or even on my street. I think we all have the "cry about nothing, then about everything" moments in the privacy of our bathrooms or showers or closets or cars. There is a lot to deal with and dealing with it, even in the smallest degrees, scrapes layers off our hearts that are removed more quickly than they are regenerated. Optimism gets shaved down a bit at a time, and courage along with it.
So I'm going to go get a tissue (or more likely the hem of my shirt) and go outside for a little while, which always makes me feel better. And I'm going to keep doing the things that a person does, like water the plants, and reminding myself that my life is actually so ridiculously good in all the ways that count. And I'll cut myself a break for crying at my kitchen table, because, if nothing else, I'm 32 weeks pregnant, so I get a pass.
It doesn't mean I don't believe good is greater, because I do. Crying doesn't mean I've given up, because I haven't. Simply that I needed a moment to sit here in this stillness and really feel all the things the world needs to toss at me, instead of running from the rip tide of all the bad news. Now that I've done it, I think it's necessary, not weak.
But I have to go change the laundry now, and I can't be here for long. The problems will be here when I get back. And by then I'll have found something new to offer in response, likely sourced from the smell of the detergent that's cleaned these impossibly tiny baby socks. This is how we recover, and re-engage, and decide that the world is beautiful and terrible, and that we won't be afraid, after all. Next week, the clothes will be dirty again. And I'm going to wash them.
Goooood morning!
Coming to you live from between weeks 31 and 32, we're talking today about all the things people tell you not to do during pregnancy, how much those things are based in fact, and the insane myths that somehow are still perpetuated (like "Don't sleep on your back," or "Any amount of alcohol is going to give your baby FAS."). Also discussing all the things I'm ready to do again post-pregnancy (spoiler alert: club. SAMMICH).
Please ignore my knife skills in this video, as they are horrible and upon watching this back, I'm realizing I need to go to culinary school. Yikes.
Music used: Rockabye Baby!
Songs: Don't Stop Believin'
Here Comes the Sun
Can't Stop the Feelin'
I do not own this music - just purchased it on iTunes!
I feel like I am getting so spoiled during the month of October. Jordan is transitioning from one practice to another, and in between, he took three weeks off. We've been to Tulsa, to Santa Fe, have gotten to spend TONS of time together (beginning each morning with him waking up before me and bringing me coffee - #winning!), and last weekend, we got to see so many friends and family members in Birmingham.
Most of my family still lives in Alabama, so when it came time for a baby shower, Birmingham made the most sense as a host city. My sweet Aunt Dana, Mom's youngest sister, volunteered to host! She'd just re-done her beautiful kitchen in Homewood, and it was the perfect location to have a little party. The theme was "Mary's Little Lamb" - how cute is that?!
I wanted to keep the guest list small because I like the idea that the people in attendance will really be a part of this baby's life in a meaningful way. Despite the nasty hurricane weather, I was touched that friends and family gathered to celebrate the arrival of this baby. Moments like these make me want to fall on my knees in gratitude for the love, encouragement, and support I always receive from the people closest to me.
Every gift I received was SO generous, but a couple of highlights stood out from my two grandmothers: my dad's mom, who I call "Nonnie," gave me a pair of baby booties that my dad wore when he was an infant. So special!! My mom's mom, who I call "Gee Mommy" (I know, I made it up as a child, it works for us), gave me the Christening gown that all my cousins on my mom's side have been Christened in, beginning with me. I was the first grandchild on both sides, just like this baby will be, and so it was a really neat moment to think about the legacy of this beautiful gown.
Another really unique thing about this time in life is that one of my best friends on earth, Ginny Tyler, is pregnant and is only THREE WEEKS behind me. How insane is that?! Totally by accident, we're pregnant together. What makes this even more significant is that Ginny and I have photos of us together as little babies, and now OUR babies will be friends! It makes me cry. I can't.
Jordan saw that baby picture of us and asked if my hair had been burned in a fire. Um, NO THAT'S JUST HOW I LOOKED AS A BABY, thank you, Jord.
Extra great was that my grandfathers came to pick up my grandmothers, so I got to see and love on the important men in my life, too! I'm missing one sweet grandfather, Hank, but he was there in spirit!
Thank you so much to everyone who made this day memorable for us - I already count it as one of the sweetest parts of pregnancy to be able to spend time with such an incredible group of women.
Jordan and I (okay, just I) saw this great web series that Whitney Port (of The Hills fame) did during her pregnancy called "I Love My Baby But I Hate My Pregnancy." Each week, she did an update about kind of a "real girl's pregnancy," with all the yucky stuff no one likes to talk about but everyone experiences.
I haven't had as rough a time as Whitney Port, but I did love the idea of documenting a little bit of this process in an honest way because it's so special and once-in-a-lifetime. I love looking back on old photos and video, so more for Jord and me than for anything, I thought it would be fun to have some tape of these last 10 weeks.
Here's installment one, where he and I talk about The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of this process. If you've ever had kids, I'm sure you can relate to lots of this - because, let's be honest, pregnancy is all of those things.
Also, somehow we end up talking about comic books. And the time I tooted on Jordan's foot.
Hope you enjoy this early morning, no-makeup look! (The lighting gets better, I promise.)
Yellow, The Space Between, and Landslide are copyrighted by Rockabye Baby! and are not my property.