DNR - JTI: Other People's Submissions

As usual, credit for this idea goes to the fab Mollie Erickson. 

Last night, one of my best friends sent me a message with a Do Not Respond - Just Take It from her day, which inspired me to solicit them from my family and whoever was at the top of my text message pile. 

The results were pretty entertaining. We'll start with the one that inspired them all. 

From Ginny Tyler Meadows: 

Dear Lady at Belk in the pantyhose section, 
Thank you for keeping me from buying the ankle-bunching hose you claimed would embarrass my grandmother at church on Sunday. My budget of as close to $10 as possible seemed tricky, but you understand that my struggle is real. Your teaching me how to test the multitude of hose colors by sticking my hand in the samples kept me from looking like I was having a race identity problem as I interview for pharmacy residencies. I appreciate hearing about your niece who may be in college somewhere in Alabama studying something like pharmacy, but I really do need to be going. Yes, I am pretending not to hear you asking about my potential salary and why I'm not working for CVS. Hopefully, I will not rip these and have to come back. DNR - JTI. 

From April McAnnally:

Dear Joanna Gaines,
I know you love your family ('cause who wouldn't - they are precious) and you think Chip is darling ('cause he is) and you are living your dream on HGTV, but seriously. Now you have a furniture line, custom paint colors, a Magnolia Store, and a book coming out. You also have perfectly shiny hair cascading down your back at all times. Could ya just slow down? You're making the rest of us feel bad. DNR - JTI. 

From Katie Glenn:  

Dear People who Talk About Millennials and How Terrible We Are,
Literally every generation ever has always thought the subsequent generations were shit. Even Socrates talked about the generation following his. You're exhausting us and your points are generally terrible. DNR - JTI. 

From Parker McAnnally: 

Dear Birds Outside My House at 3 AM, 
Please stop yelling. That streetlight is not the sun. I will shake you out of your tree if you continue in your ways. We can peacefully coexist, but not if you sing me your song in the middle of the night. I'll see you in the morning when it's time for you to be loud. DNR - JTI.

From Sid McAnnally: 

Dear Lady Grantham,
I love my wife, and to prove it, I've worn my teeth down through years of your cow-eyed, stage whispered, "Oh, Robert's" and "Poor Edith's." Enough. Please accept my goodbye in advance of your March departure. DNR - JTI. 

From Victoria Harr: 

Dear Backseat Drivers,
No, I do not want to know 42 facts about hydroplaning, the impact high beams have on traffic signs, and the exact speed I should go when there are emergency personnel on the shoulder. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Quietly. DNR - JTI. 

A couple of my own: 

Dear Misting Spray in the Produce Section,
I love everything about you. I love when the thunder sound comes on to warn us that the mist is imminent. Other shoppers may decide to come back later, but I will always stick around. I love watching that water spray float through the air and onto my vegetables, giving them the air of "fresh from the farm." It feels like a ride at Disney World that I didn't even have to pay for. I think you're magical. Don't ever change. DNR - JTI.

Dear Approx. 10-year-old Boy in Said Produce Section Loudly Singing the Praises of Spinach,
I find you to be totally charming. The way your regular t-shirt completely overwhelms your skinny frame is completely endearing. I overheard you say that you "have a hard time with iceberg lettuce," and I get that. Spinach is much easier to eat. Also, thank you for loudly explaining to your mom that grocery stores often try to rip us off by placing the higher-priced items at eye-level. I hope that you always stay this delightfully nerdy, and that no one makes you feel like you should be anything else. You're my new favorite part of the grocery, even over the produce misters. DNR - JTI.

...and one more from my sweet dad: 

Dear Mary Catherine's Readers,
Can you believe this? Bachelor in one breath, insightful spiritual observation the next? In one person? I've been watching it for 27 years and I still don't have it figured out. And you should meet her mother. And brother. It took me too long to realize, the best play is: DNR - JTI.