Gilmore Gab.

Oh, Gilmore Girls. You're coming back. And I am REALLY EXCITED. 

People have a love-hate relationship with Gilmore Girls. And by that I mean that people either love it or hate it. It's a very polarizing piece of entertainment. Jordan calls it "Kill-more Girls" because he is so worn out by the constant rapid-fire dialogue the show is famous for. 

He's a "hate." I'm a "love." 

Though the release date for the four new movies hasn't been announced, the promotional photos have begun circulating. And for that reason, it seemed appropriate to do a post about Gilmore and company. I have too many thoughts about this show to possibly craft this post into a theme, so I'm just going for it: rapid fire, all over the board. Some will be big thoughts, some will be dumb.

Ready? Let's go. 

1. Logan is the best of the boyfriends.  

Anyone who knows me well know that I really have a thing for tall guys. And that's putting it gently. So this declaration about Logan may come as a surprise to people who've heard me say things like, "Sean Penn is only 5'8''?! EW!!!" But I stand by it, despite the fact that Matt Czuchry is reportedly only 5'9''. 

Logan, though panned by many for being a silver-spooned-spoiled-brat, was the best of Rory's three long-term relationships. I think we can all agree that Dean, while charming (except for when he CHEATED ON HIS WIFE) was nice and all, but he was too small-town for Rory's career aspirations. Jess, the moody, emotional, artist, was probably her best match in terms of likeness and compatibility. 

But LOGAN. 

Logan was a Huntzberger, which meant that Rory would have married into opportunity. Into open doors. And sure, he was petulant and childish a few times - but every single time that he made a mistake, he owned up to it. And by the end, he was absolutely dripping with charisma. That scene where he comes to Stars Hollow with Rory and ends up having late-night, real talk with Lorelai over pie?? (Wait, you don't remember that scene because you have a life and didn't just watch the entire series straight through AGAIN?) It's the best. He's also very smart, despite the fact that he didn't have to be. He knows what he wants, he can articulate it, and he goes after it. 

I'm not saying she should've accepted his proposal -- I think she was smart to put her career first. But I wish that Logan had kept his promise to "factor her in," and I hope that this reboot includes them finding their way back to each other somehow. 

2. Lorelai is kind of the worst. 

WE KNOW. 

WE KNOW. 

Listen, friends, 'cause this next part is important: Lauren Graham is NOT the worst. She's the best. She's wonderful, and she perfectly portrayed the character that was written for her. Lorelai Gilmore, on the other hand, is really tough for me to take as an adult. 

When you watch this show as a child, you think, "MAN, how great would it be to have a mom like that? A mom who's your best friend? Who stuffs you full of junk food and then you just veg out on the couch together gabbing about boys?" (...okay, well I have a mom like that, so I personally didn't think that, but you get my point. Also, happy birthday, Mom!!) 

My point is that she's the Manic Pixie Dream Girl of moms. She is the unattainable ideal. But with that spontaneous joie de vivre comes A. LOT. of downsides. Over the course of the show, she:

  • Relentlessly patronizes and minimizes Sookie, her supposed best friend. 
  • Starts dating Rory's teacher, accepts his proposal, then dumps him. 
  • Secretly dates her father's business partner, one of the things ends up torpedoing her father's company. 
  • Passive aggressively stews over Luke postponing the wedding because of April, instead of just TALKING IT OUT. 
  • Casually sleeps with Christopher, RORY'S DAD the night she and Luke break up. 
  • Marries Christopher on a freakin' whim without Rory even being there. 
  • Trots Christopher out in Stars Hollow and plainly tells him she's worried people won't like him very much. 
  • Dumps Christopher mere months into their marriage, potentially damaging Chris and Rory's relationship forever. 
  • Gives a drunken toast at Lane and Zack's wedding reception accusing them of being too young to get married.
  • Publishes a magazine article crucifying her mother, then asks Emily to just forget it ever happened.
  • Doesn't tell her parents (either time) she gets engaged. 

I'm quite certain there are dozens that I'm leaving out. More or less, she's a pretty self-absorbed pain in the ass that's fun to watch on TV. But if you're like me, and the people on TV end up becoming real people in your lives (there has to be some kind of psychotic name for this condition), then Lorelai Gilmore is one of the most annoying ones around. 

3. Alexis Bledel is a chronic huncher. 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAND UP STRAIGHT

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAND UP STRAIGHT

This one has bothered me for years. Probably most obvious in the episode where Rory goes to that dance with Dean, and Lorelai makes her a blue off-the-shoulder dress that is basically a neon sign saying, "CHECK OUT MY BAD POSTURE." I have actually googled "Alexis Bledel scoliosis" to see if anything turned up, because obviously I don't want to be offensive if this is some sort of medical condition. (It isn't.)

It gets better as the seasons go on, and Alexis Bledel happens to be (in my humble opinion) one of the more visually stunning actresses out there. But girl? I'm about to snatch that hair up and MAKE you stand up straight. 

4. The costume designer should be fired. 

This has bothered me for so long that this is a screenshot from summer 2015, when I was watching an episode (and also trying to find a house in Asheville for us to live in, and making cauliflower pizza, apparently) and was ARRESTED by the lack of well-fitting options with which Lauren Graham was provided. So I screenshotted it. 

Y'all. 

Those pants just do not fit. Look at the contour of her body. And that is not Lauren Graham's fault. She's a trim person! Give her clothes that fit, for the love! This costuming mistake of putting Lorelai in skin-tight clothes really isn't remedied until the final season, when the costume designer must have gotten canned or discovered Diane von Furstenburg. We see Lorelai in a four or five DVF wrap dresses and it is PERFECTION. Hopefully we're sticking to the more polished aesthetic. 

(I also hope someone threw all the flat irons away, because these ladies need volume). 

5. I am really going to miss Edward Herrmann.

Emily and Richard Gilmore serve as anchors for this show. The solid steadfastness of these characters are what allow Lorelai and Rory's lives to be as whimsical and free-form as they are - as viewers, we can handle the girls eating Pop Tarts for dinner, because we know that at some point during the week, they'll be balanced with Friday Night Dinners. 

I loved the chemistry that Edward Herrmann and Kelly Bishop (Emily) had. They really were a dream team. He was a fine actor and seemed like such a sweet man, and just brought this special kind of gravitas to the show. He wasn't a "Gilmore girl," but he was important, and I'm sad he died. 

6. This show is a feminist dream. 

Of course this show is about Lorelai and Rory. But it's also about a third Gilmore Girl - Emily. Almost every single episode features Lorelai's complicated relationship with her parents, or Rory's sweet and healthy (mostly) relationship with them. At the heart of this show, the story is about women - mothers, daughters, grandmothers, granddaughters, best friends, business partners - all supporting, loving, and showing up for each other. 

It's wonderful that the relationships are complex, because that's how real relationships among women are. The stories are meaty, heartbreaking, triumphant - they're real. Emily, Lorelai, Sookie, Rory, Lane, Paris...all the women on this show are completely different from each other, but tied together in friendship or by blood (or both). Gilmore Girls is a shining brick in the house of entertainment for women. It says, "Whatever you want to be is okay. Be the best at it." Punk rock Seventh Day Adventist turned mother of twins? Do it. WASPy corporate wife with a mind of her own? Yes. Independent, snarky, Manic Pixie Dream Girl who should weigh 3,500 pounds? Absolutely.

It's about family - they family you're born with and the family you make. 

MAN I can't wait for these reboots to come out. I'll be blogging them, but of course.