New York Trip 2016

Every once in a while, I get focused on writing social/entertainment commentary pieces and forget I can sometimes write a post about something totally personal! So here's one of those. 

We went to New York - from the Saturday after Thanksgiving to Wednesday of last week - and had a BALL. Jordan had some continuing education work to do up there, so I got to tag along with his practice. 

I've been fortunate to go to NY many times, but this trip was really different. Every other time I've been, it's been with family or with a group of some sort. This time, though, Jordan spent a lot of the day in his classes, so I had hours and hours to myself. 

It. Was. Heavenly. 

Not because I don't love Jordan, but because I had never gotten to explore the city on my own! Everyone is like this - left to your own devices, you can linger as long as you want in a store, spend as much time reading about something totally weird, and do things like...drive to Carrie's Brownstone and pay homage. 

Not that I did that. (I did that.) 

Our "Secret Single Self" behavior, if you will. 

So I got to do several new things: brunch at Sarabeth's, where I enjoyed 6 uninterrupted chapters of Hillbilly Elegy and lemon ricotta pancakes; wandering through Barney's; a cookie at Magnolia Bakery; writing in Central Park. 

This was also Jordan's first trip to NYC ever, so we did a few things that are NY staples! Here's an onslaught of low-quality iPhone pictures: 

SATURDAY: 

NY Public Library
Natural History Museum
Central Park
Cookshop (dinner)
Milkbar (dessert)

Highlights this day: Jordan's reaction to all things New York was pretty great. The museums/library are always spectacular no matter how many times I see them - beautiful architecture and content.

Dinner that night was at a restaurant in Chelsea called Cookshop, recommended to me by one of my very coolest friends. We sat down at our table and looked over to our right to find that Lea Michele of Glee fame was having dinner next to us. Welcome to New York! 

SUNDAY:

Pilgrimage to Carrie's Brownstone
Le Pain Quotidien (brunch)
Meatball Shop (lunch)
9/11 Memorial and One World Trade Center Observatory (more to come about that in a separate post)
Eataly (dinner)

This was the first morning I had to myself, and I lived. it. UP. I walked to Carrie's Brownstone, which was such a special experience for me as I am an ENORMOUS SJP fan and had never gotten to do this. There were a couple of other very timid fans who were there, so we all kind of quietly took each other's pictures and then went our separate ways. Very strange and wonderful kinship. 

We went to Eataly for dinner and Y'ALL. Holy WOW. It's basically a labyrinth of Italian food. The front part of the space is a specialty market which sells any Italian food you can imagine. They pull their own mozzarella in house. I was dying. We went to La Pizza and La Pasta, which, if you couldn't decipher from the name, serves house-made pasta and pizzas. I basically left my body. It was mind-blowing.  

SUNDAY:

Sarabeth's (brunch)
Walk through Central Park
Walked to and around Chelsea
Phantom of the Opera with the dental practice
Midnight pizza

Sarabeth's was a true delight. On Yelp, several people mentioned that the service was bad or that they were rushed out of their table. That may have been the case for them, but the service I received was second-to-none. These guys were so attentive, without hovering, and I had to ask for the check. I sat and read a ton of my book and just watched all the different kinds of people drift in and out. Heavenly. 

That night, Jordan's practice took everyone to see Phantom of the Opera! I am traditionally not a huge Andrew Lloyd Webber fan, but there is absolutely nothing like being in a theater on Broadway with a live orchestra in the pit. It is really electrifying. The performance was lovely, and, as an extra special cherry on top, the cast announced after curtain call that this was the 12,000th performance of that show. How insane is that?? 

TUESDAY:

Russ and Daughters (brunch) 
NBC Studio tour
Public (dinner with Emily and Kevin!)  

Per another great recommendation, we journeyed to Russ and Daughters, a famous Jewish deli-turned-restaurant, and had our minds blown. If you've never had a real New York bagel, you are missing out, my friend. They are just better. So for brunch, we had matzoh ball soup, latkes, cream cheese and lox and bagels, and raspberry blintzes for dessert. Please just kill me now 'cause I'm dead. 

Afterwards, it was pouring rain, so we decided to do an indoor activity: a tour of NBC studios. I highly recommend it if you ever get the chance. We weren't allowed to take pictures, but we got to tour Jimmy Fallon's studio, Seth Meyer's studio, and (my Holy Grail) the SNL studio. Y'ALL. It is SO MUCH SMALLER in person. So that's probably the only time I'll be in that room in my life. I soaked in every minute. 

The highlight of the trip was getting to have dinner with my great friend from high school, Emily, and her charming boyfriend, Kevin! There's nothing like being in a city full of strangers, only to cap the experience with a long, boozy, laughter-filled dinner with people you already know. 

And yes, I did wear those pants two nights in a row. Sue me, okay? It was New York and I needed to wear my ridiculous crushed velvet wide leg pants a lot of times. ;) 
 

Can't wait until next time! 

The Skimm.

If you don't know about this already, let me blow ya' mind. 

I'm going to list out a few problems, and you tell me if you identify with any of them. Are you: 

Constantly nodding and smiling when your co-workers discuss current events, when, in reality, you have no idea what they're talking about and hoping that no one asks you a follow-up question?
Overwhelmed and saddened by how depressing the evening news is?
Too busy to sit down and read a newspaper? 
Getting your news from Facebook, which has been proven to accidentally run as many fake news stories as real ones? 
Ambivalent about the goings-on of the world, but wish you knew just a little more? 

Mmhmm. I thought so. There's a solution to this. 

theSkimm. 

So a little personal background: 

I really like staying informed, but I'm not someone who reads the newspaper. I was feeling like a sorry excuse for an adult, because I'm also not a news junkie, nor do I follow political blogs or watch CNN at night. So this service, theSkimm, has really changed things for me. 

theSkimm is a newsletter specifically designed for millennial women. It was founded by these two cuties: 

Carly Zakin and Danielle Wesiberg. 

Carly and Danielle started their careers working as producers for NBC News and eventually collaborated to solve all of the above problems. They wanted to make news quick, accessible, and fun to read.

It's called "theSkimm" because it's just that: the equivalent of skimming a major newspaper and getting all the highlights. 

Some of my favorite things about this publication: 

1. It is delivered to my inbox by 7 AM every morning, so no matter how early I'm up, I can read it before I start my day in earnest. 
2. It is a pretty unbiased news source. It doesn't lean terribly left or terribly right. 
3. It reports on issues I care about: a solid mixture of pop culture, sports, and actual hard-hitting policy news. 
4. Their reporting is succinct and simply put. In fact, there are fun pop culture references scattered throughout each piece. 
5. If they're reporting on a complicated subject that I'll need a deeper understanding of an issue to grasp, they offer a link to a more in-depth explanation of said subject. 

Allow me to walk you through my Skimm from this morning with badly drawn footnotes: 

1. Cute and cheeky heading. 
2. Early delivery, as promised. 

3. They always tell us what they're doing while they were writing the next morning's post. This post, it happens to coincide with their advertiser. But other issues have featured "Skimm'd while marathoning Gilmore Girls" or "over a few bottles of wine." #relatable
4. They always feature a Quote of the Day. It usually doesn't pertain to anything else in the e-mail, but it's something culturally relevant and fun. Like this one. Thanks, Bob Dylan. 

Okay, so let's review how they report the news: 

5. They cite their sources. Throughout each section, you can click to find out more. 
6. They give you an introduction to the topic. On more complicated topics, they'll usually include a link that's titled, "Remind me?" and you can go back and read more about the issue.
7. Provides the most recent update. 
8. If you're too busy to even read a few paragraphs, if gives you the highlight in the section called "theSkimm."

This is only one of the four major stories they report on each day. The other stories discussed in today's issue were Philando Castile's murder trial, Facebook's recalibration of how it deems news stories "real" or not, and airstrikes in Aleppo. They also a few other short news blurbs. 

I'm just realizing that I failed to mention the VERY best part, which is that IT'S FO' FREE. FREE. NO MONEYS. 

Subscribe to theSkimm by clicking that photo below and never be clueless at the water cooler again. Being informed is sexy. So, you know, get informed. 

Fetch or Wretch: CMA Red Carpet.

The biggest night in country music, people! If you haven't already seen it, the best thing to come out of that awards show is this Beyonce/Dixie Chicks performance. If you grew up in the 90's, this will make you get up and dance. Trust. 

I shouldn't have led with that - the rest of this post will be a let-down. 

But, we press on. 

You guys know the drill, so let's just get down to it. BRING ON THE WHITE PEOPLE! 

Fetch. 

 

Nicole Kidman

Okay yes, this is a little too "on-the-nose" literal, but I think she's making it work. The color is beautiful on her, the fit is great, and poor Nicole has had a history of making bad head choices. Her head looks great here! Nicole found her some country music gays to floof up that hair. I'm proud of her. 

Kacey Musgraves

A few things. First of all, I'm probably being blinded by my love for Kacey Musgraves (who is super talented and you should listen to her stuff if you haven't already). Her whole schtick is to wear very "frou-frou" clothes and then sing songs about trailer parks. Traditionally, I loathe pickup skirts or tiered skirts like this, but I think I love it here because it's so exaggerated. She really does look like one of those Barbies shoved in the top of a birthday cake. She also has the best people in town doing her makeup, because she is actually poreless.

My only real complaint is that the bust is too full. It looks like she's trying to smuggle something into the venue in her bodice. Whatcha got in there, girl? Booze? Puppies? A few McDonald's cheeseburgers ('cause I sure would). 

Carrie Underwood, I GUESS. 

Country Music Barbie. My eyes are rolled all the way back in my head. Everything she wears is princess-y and neutral. Don't believe me? 

...right. So. As I was saying. 

Okay, okay, she looks pretty and the dress fits and her head styling looks great. But would some color KILL HER? I think not. 

Gymnasts! 

Laurie Hernandez, Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Madison Kocian, and Gabby Douglas. 

Of course there are some basic things that could be fixed (don't love the length of Gabby's dress + a train; Laurie Hernandez is underdressed a bit), but overall, I think these ladies look great. They're having fun, they're stepping out - and you know what? They're athletes. They're not red carpet celebrities. So they get a more lenient hand in the judging process. Fetch! Fetch for all! 

Reba

Wouldja just look at 'er? She's so cute! Great job choosing something age-appropriate, flattering, and formal. Her hair and makeup look great - I would cosign on this look any day. Go, Reba!! And she's 61, so, you know. #werk 

...that pretty much does it for the good ones. The bad ones, I'm afraid, are much more worse. 

Wretch. 

Sharon Stone

Number one: Whatcha doin' at the CMA's, Sharon Stone??

Number two: Sharon here, only 3 years younger than Reba, opted for a very different route. Look, girl, we all know your brand is SEXY, but you have to know when to pump the brakes. It looks a little like you were pledging a sorority, got drugged, had half your head shaved in the car, then got shoved out of a limo in this dress. Sharon, do you need help? Blink twice if you're being held here against your will. 

Faith Hill

Ohhhhhhhhhh, Faith. 

It's been a long, slow descent ever since this moment: 

I really don't know what to say about this look because I can't figure out where to start. This is a perfect example of a Franken-dress (copyright Tom and Lorenzo) - it can't figure out what it wants to be. Sparkly! Sleek! Peplum! Shiny! Matte! And speaking of people who look like they're being held against their will...yikes. Faith, go home. Put on a mask. Sink into a bubble bath. Have Tim McGraw give you a shoulder rub. You need a day off. 

Miss America, Savvy Shields

... 

... 

...

Can't wear a pageant dress on the red carpet, Sav. Also, don't look behind you, but your dress is being slowly eaten by another dress. Run away, girl!!! 

Elle King

I AM I, DON QUIXOTE, THE LORD OF LA MANCHA!! 

But seriously. 

I have no idea who this person is, but she obviously slept in her Halloween costume from a few days ago. Part of me wants to give her credit for having the stones to wear this on the red carpet, but the other part of me is too busy recovering from the series of eye-twitches I collapsed into after seeing this combination of fringe and corset. I mean...you do you, sister. But for me, this one's a miss. 

Gretchen Wilson

I seem to remember this woman telling us in no uncertain terms that she "ain't no high class broad," and yet, somehow that still doesn't excuse wearing a t-shirt and leggings (maybe even tights, actually) to a black-tie event. 

Listen, Gretch: if you're invited somewhere thousands of people would kill to be, show a little respect. At the very least, put on some pants. You are officially the wretchest of them all.

That does it, people. May we all go forth and make good style choices. Amen.  

Charleston and Kiawah Travel Guide, Pt I.

Well HELLO! 

Didja miss me? 

I missed you!

It feels like it's been much longer than a week and also much less than a week since I've written. Let me fill you in! 

Last Christmas, my parents gave us kids a trip as our big gift. My dad planned a week long trip starting in Asheville, then moving on to Charleston, heading to Kiawah Island, and then back to Asheville. We spent about two days in each place. It was easily one of the best trips I've ever taken - not only because the scenery, accommodations, and food were MIND-BLOWLINGLY GOOD, but because my whole family was present. Laughing with my family is one of the greatest things there is. 

So - let's kick things off when our trip began in Asheville: 

MONDAY: 

• My mom and Parker's girlfriend, Emily, came to a Pure Barre class that I taught! So fun to have everyone there. 
• We met up with the guys and went to Mayfel's in downtown Asheville.

• After breakfast, we loaded up in the giant SUV my dad rented to accommodate all six of us (plus Tom Hanks, in this case) and drove to Max Patch, where it was THE MOST PERFECT DAY. 

• Though we probably should've taken naps, we came home, had a cocktail, rallied, and got ready for our fantastic dinner at Limone's. I wish I had pictures, but, tragically, I do not. Just imagine it. 

TUESDAY. 

• The next morning, we piled into the SUV and headed to Charleston. Arrived at our beautiful hotel, Zero George. If you have plans to visit Charleston anytime soon, I cannot recommend this hotel enough. It is the most charming place - everything about it is lovely. The hotel itself is beautiful - eye candy around every corner - the rooms are spacious and cozy, and the staff is incredibly attentive. I really can't say enough about it - it's a "can't miss" and is hands-down my favorite hotel of all time. 

• We traipsed around Charleston for a bit - visited Battery Park, looked at the historic homes - came back, the girls put on our robes and enjoyed our champagne and cheese boards, courtesy of the hotel. I mean...are ya kiddin' me? I was basically pretending I was Beyonce at this point. 

• Quickly dressed for dinner at Le Farfalle. Don't have any pictures from here, either, but this is a newer restaurant in Charleston (has only been open 9 weeks). It's a great, romantic setting - house-made pasta. Jordan had a squid ink dish, and I had the housemade spaghetti in butter sauce, pictured below. Both were delish. (Thanks to their website for these pics!)

• We capped the evening with cocktails on the rooftop of The Restoration Hotel. So delicious and great service. I continued drinking my new favorite - grapefruit juice, Tito's, St. Germaine, and a splash of soda. To my immense disappointment, this drink already exists and is called a Greyhound. I'm still going to pretend I made it up. 
• Arrived back at the hotel to discover turn-down service and chocolates had been deposited in our room as a late-night treat. 

WEDNESDAY.

• Enjoyed a completely picturesque breakfast at the hotel. Zero George has lovely indoor and outdoor seating along with a breakfast that makes you feel like you've been teleported to France. I'm telling you, everything about this hotel is just drool-worthy. 

• The kids decided we were up for a bike ride, so we rented bikes from the hotel and cruised around the city for about an hour. 

• Had lunch at Chez Nous, a teeny tiny restaurant in Charleston that you can totally miss if you aren't looking for it. One of the best meals I've ever eaten, and I think everyone would agree. The restaurant itself is a tiny space, well-decorated and beautifully lit, and the (handwritten) menu is traditional French cuisine. The chefs create two options per course, so the quality is just out of this world. 

• We basically staggered out, woozy with total delight, and tried to window shop. Ended up waving the white flag and returning the hotel for pre-dinner naps. 
• I have no pictures of dinner - suffice it to say it was delicious. 
• For dessert, we headed to Peninsula Grill (a famous and very old-school Charleston restaurant) for their iconic coconut cake. We had a slice for every two people - the girls drank champagne, the guys drank cognac, and we tried to act like adults but were really giddy and giggly. Dad had to keep us in line as we grew louder and louder. 
• We came back to the hotel and played what has become a staple of family game night - a game I'd like to tell you about right now: 

1. It's called Telephone Pictionary, and here's how you play. 
2. Start with a stack of small sheets of paper - there should be one sheet for every player in your group. 
3. On the top sheet of paper, you write a phrase. It can be anything - the more nonsensical, the better. For example, one of mine was, "Mom tries to wink" (we'd been trying to teach her how to wink on this trip to hilarious failure). 
4. You then pass your entire stack, not just the top sheet, to the person to your left -- the person to your right passes their entire stack to you.
5. The clock is set for one minute. You read the phrase on the top sheet, then move that sheet to the bottom of the pile. You then have one minute to draw a depiction of whatever that person's phrase was - in this case, Emily had to draw, "Mom tries to wink." You can't use words - only pictures. 
6. After a minute, the whole stack gets passed again -- only this time, the next person has to write a description of the drawing they received. 
7. And so on and so forth, until your stack makes it back to you. The best part is the end, where you get to reveal what you actually wrote and how convoluted and strange it got by the end. I can guarantee that you will die laughing every time. 

• Part II tomorrow - we head to Kiawah! 

Unsubscribe.

*Puts on best Billy Mays/Informercial voice:*

ARE YOU SICK OF RECEIVING E-MAILS FROM LISTS YOU NEVER SIGNED UP FOR? 

IS YOUR INBOX CLUTTERED AND FULL OF GARBAGE? 

ARE YOU OVERWHELMED BY HOW MANY TIMES YOU CLICK "UNSUBSCRIBE"  A DAY? 

THEN I HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU! 

But seriously, I do. 

Unroll.me is about to change your life. 

First off, let me be clear that this is not a paid advertisement. The fine people at Unroll Me have no idea who I am. I am just a huge fan of their product, so I had to share it with y'all. 

Unroll Me works like this: you give it third party access to your e-mail, and it scans every e-mail you've ever gotten. Every. Single. One. For me, since I got my Gmail account when I was 14, that was about 9,500 e-mails. (I'm a saver, not a deleter, okay? Shut up.) 

After it's scanned through them, Unroll Me identifies all of your "subscription" e-mails. All that means is that if the sender is an organization or company, rather than an individual, Unroll Me will recognize that. 

It then places all your subscription e-mails in alphabetical order and lets you decide what you'd like to do with them. You have three options for each: Add to Rollup, Unsubscribe, and Keep in Inbox.

(This is not from my Inbox, just a dummy image I found. I don't know James Willard, I'm afraid.) 

Unsubscribe: If you tell Unroll Me to unsubscribe from a newsletter or listserv, you will NEVER HEAR FROM THAT PERSON/COMPANY AGAIN. It's the most magical thing of all time. To date, I have unsubscribed from 314 e-mails. 

...did you hear me? Three hundred and fourteen. Holy. COW. That's 314 e-mails that would've been in my inbox otherwise. 

Add to Rollup: If you choose this option, Unroll Me adds that particular e-mail to a daily newsletter you receive in your inbox. All your "Rollup" e-mails will come to you in one, nice, neat package - instead of in seven separate e-mails like they would have before. You can see all the headlines of the e-mails right away instead of clicking on them individually. It's aesthetically and organizationally delightful. (Below is my newsletter from yesterday.) 

Keep in Inbox: This option allows you to keep those e-mail in your inbox just as you would any other e-mail. For example - I like to keep my notifications from any doctor's office or bank in my inbox, rather than adding it to my daily rollup. I use my daily rollup for things like retail - that way, nothing gets missed! 

"But Mary Catherine, what happens when I inevitably get signed up for new e-mail subscriptions??" 

Glad you asked. 

You will notice, inside my perfectly drawn red circle, that at the top of each day's rollup, Unroll Me provides a new list of e-mails it has recognized as "subscription" e-mails. Every day, you get the opportunity to go back in and choose what you'd like to do with the new e-mails you're getting - unsubscribe, keep them in your inbox, or add them to your rollup. 

It is the most satisfying thing. It's like the technological equivalent of this GIF:

...did I mention the whole 314 e-mails thing yet? I did? Okay. Just checking. 314 e-mails is a lot of e-mails, people. 

Unroll Me is absolutely free, secure, and reliable. I've used it for a year and couldn't love it more. Visit unroll.me or click the picture below to get started - you won't regret it. 

Disclaimer: This post is not in any way sponsored by Unroll.Me; all opinions are my own. 

Grease. Or, Not Washing My Hair Every Day.

Man, oh man, have I had an embarrassment of riches this week. First, Jordan took over the blog with his epic rafting/Deliverance tale, and now my precious friend Mary Frances is taking over to tell a slightly less adventurous, but equally as harrowing, tale. I bet most women who read this blog will relate: the process of training your hair to not be washed every day. 

Since the pictures of her in this blog post are...we'll say "less than flattering," I pulled some pictures from her website so you can see how adorable she is (and how adorable her dog, Porter, is. I mean, COME ON with that). 

Mary Frances is a jewelry designer whose studio is in West Asheville (visit her incredible website here). Jordan and I met she and her boyfriend, Hobbs, at church one Sunday. Since then, Fran (as she's called by the cool kids) and I have bonded through our three-times-a-week Pure Barre dates. One day a couple of weeks ago, a few of the PB girls were discussing hair care regimens. I'll let her take it from here. 

-------

I wash my hair every day, or at least every time I shower. Apparently it’s not good for your hair. At my last haircut, the stylist gave me a big “shame on you” speech about how I shouldn’t. What.Ever. Sometimes I skip a day, but honestly, it’s rare. Unless I’m camping or without access to a shower, these locks get shampooed almost every single day. I have pretty thick hair, or so I think, so you’d think it wouldn't get greasy easily - well, you’d be wrong.

For a while now (okay, like, a week), Mary Catherine and a friend at Pure Barre have been telling me that they wash their hair just a couple times a week. So, I decided to try it. I washed my hair the night before “Day 1” began.

Day 1. 

7:30 AM - Hear alarm go off. Look at the clock and realize it’s too late to get up, get dressed, pour coffee, feed the dog, take said dog to daycare, and get to Pure Barre by the 8:30 class. Look at PB app and see Mary Catherine is teaching the 9:45 class. Book it and roll back over.

9:40AM - Get to Pure Barre.

10:00AM - In the middle of plank position, remember what MC and I had talked about last week. Decide today’s the day I’m going to try it - I won't wash my hair every day this week. I figure, I’ve got nothing to do this week, so why not? I mean, let’s be real, I work for myself, usually from home - who do I have to impress?

12:00PM- Take a shower post-PB. Stand there wondering what the heck I’m supposed to do in here if I can’t wash my hair. Wash my body twice for good measure.

12:46PM - Text MC asking what she suggests I do in the shower since I can’t wash my hair. She tells me to stand there unmoving and then buy dry shampoo.

4:40PM - Feel my hair that I decided to air dry and notice that it’s still not dry. Text MC again.

View fullsize

5:00PM - Pick up dog from daycare and discover that he somehow has gotten some poop on his back. Remember that Porter only shampoos his hair when he gets groomed, which is only every 6 weeks, and his hair is angel soft. Thinking more and more about how that stylist may have been right. Consider bathing Porter when we get home to remove said poop. Remember that we just moved into an apartment that is mostly carpeted and decide against it. 

5:15PM - Get home and use baby wipes leftover from my niece’s visit a few weeks ago to wipe away poop (it was just a tiny bit, I swear!). Decide beyond a doubt that Porter will not sleep in the bed with me tonight.

10:50PM - Look at hair one more time in the mirror. Decide that tomorrow, I'll dry my hair post-shower rather than air dry and see if it makes a difference.

11:00PM -Throw hair on top of my head. Snug with Porter in bed.

Day 2. Woof. 

7:30AM - Wake up raring to go. Snug the pup one last time before getting up and dressed for the 8:30 PB class.

7:45AM - Check hair in the mirror. Notice “cute” top knot from previous night has turned into a top knot mullet. Take hair down to brush + redo for PB and see large crease in hair a few inches from my forehead. Cringe. Throw hair back up in top knot.

8:45AM - Midway through plank, remember I’m not allowed to wash my hair in my post-workout shower. Cringe again.

10:00AM - Go to “Luke’s” with Mary Catherine.

11:00AM - Get home, ready to shower.

11:25AM - Lay on the floor with Porter remembering that he only washes his hair every 6 weeks. Try to convince myself that this is actually a good idea. 

11:45AM - Turn the shower on and get a little sad remembering that I’m not allowed to wash my hair again. Consider doing it anyway because #yolo.

11:47AM - Get in shower and decide against the shampoo. Stand under the water wondering, once again, how people who don’t wash their hair every day waste the appropriate amount of time in the shower.

11:52AM - Get out. Kidding - I stood, unmoving, under the hot water for at least 10 minutes.

12:15PM - Begin drying hair. Get halfway through and realize that it’s not drying. Oh, right. Grease. Throw it back up in a top knot, half dry and all.

12:17PM - Notice hat in the corner of room and decide that should I choose to go in public today, that hat will most certainly be on my head.

12:30PM - Consider buying dry shampoo. Forget and go to work.

12:45PM - Get to work and remember I forgot the hat. Hope I don’t see anyone I know today.

4:45PM - Feel face and realize that not only is my hair greasy, but somehow my face is as well. Remember I washed my face in the shower this morning. Consider if it’s possible that grease from hair has traveled.

5:30PM - Get home, see roommate, hope she doesn’t notice the greaseball on top of my head.

10:15PM - Examine hair one last time before confirming that tomorrow will be the day I stop this nonsense. Remember that dry shampoo was supposed to be a key element in this experiment. Forget about it and go to bed.

Day 3 - Shampoo Day. Holler. 

7:30AM - Wake up, look in mirror, see greasy top knot mullet, and wonder if it’s weird to shower before a workout class. Decide that yes, that would most certainly be weird.     

8:30AM - Get to Pure Barre. Sit next to a woman who tell me she just ate a donut before class. Make a mental note to be this woman’s friend.

9:15AM - In the middle of plank (when apparently I do all my serious life-contemplation) remember that today I get to wash my hair. Smile. Then fall out of plank and go back to my huffing and puffing until class ends.

10:00AM - Race home. Take a quick pic of my greasy hair for all you dear readers.

10:02AM - Jump in the shower. Wash, rinse, repeat* for approximately 20 minutes while dancing and singing aloud to Leon Bridges, confirming that this is 100% worth a second noise violation from my overly finicky downstairs neighbor.

*I understand the whole wash rinse repeat thing is a huge marketing ploy to get oblivious consumers to use up their shampoo supply quicker therefore having to buy it more often. #what.ever. I am their ideal consumer.

10:15AM - Brush hair and realize it still feels a little greasy. Understand that it may take a few days of going back to my wasteful hair-washing-every-day routine for said hair to lose all grease.

11:58AM - Finish writing blog post and come to the conclusion that washing my hair only a few times a week is not the life for me. I'll leave it to the rest of Asheville’s hippie population. Though maybe next time I’ll actually buy the dry shampoo. 

The end.