Fetch or Wretch: The Oscars

Normally I just go straight into fashion commentary, but I have to say a few things about last night's Oscars: 

1. After weeks (months, really) of depressing, upsetting news, this awards show was feel-good moment after feel-good moment. No sarcasm. 
2. #oscarssowhite is officially a thing of the past. 
3. Jimmy Kimmel did a fantastic job. 
4. What happened with Best Picture? That was real crazy. 
5. There were so many metallic dresses on the red carpet that my eyes started to bleed a little bit. 

Okay, let's get on with it. To be honest, the red carpet was not nearly as polarized it typically is, with a wide chasm between "fetch" and "wretch." Last night, it was more "fetch" and "less fetch," with a few bonus categories near the bottom.
 

FETCH:

Jessica Biel

I have minor quibbles with the dress (the distressed detailing on a metallic gown is weird to me), but overall, I think this is a knockout look. Jessica Biel usually doesn't strike the right chord when it comes to fashion-y things, but she has a killer face AND bod, so I always wonder how she manages to get it so wrong. Hair, makeup, everything - good job, girl. 

Emma Stone

I was on the fence about this until I saw her walk in it and figured out that the entire bottom half is fringe. I thought this was perfect for so many reasons: it fits her like a dream, the head styling is perfection, she's dressed like the award she eventually won, and she's doing it all while giving a nod to the old Hollywood glam of the movie she starred in. Get it. 

Janelle Monae

I mean, capital D A M N. I LOVE this dress so much. I love that she looks like a Roman gladiator space princess. I love that she is posing like her life depends on it. I love that she stayed true to her black and white style while adding just the slightest bit of metallic color. I love that it was the only "moment" on the red carpet last night, as everyone else's dress was #typical. Thank you, Janelle, for allllllll of this dress. 

Nicole Kidman

This almost doesn't work because it's exactly her skin tone, but this is another one that after I saw her move in it, I changed my opinion. A bold red lip was the way to go to make sure it didn't wash her out completely, and the dress itself is delicate and gorgeous. It wouldn't have killed me if she had a tiny bit of a tan, but as a fellow pale girl/vampire skin, I get it. 

Ruth Negga

Apparently this is unpopular, but I loved this look. First of all, the fit is gorgeous and Ruth has been wearing unusual gown after unusual gown this awards season, which I love. Secondly, the color offsets the ACLU ribbon placed prominently on her chest, which I'm sure isn't an accident. Love the hair, love the dark lip. 

The Rock

Blue *clap* velvet *clap* blazer. If THE ROCK can find a jacket (and by find, I obviously mean "have made") tailored to absolute perfection, then no man on this planet ever has an excuse for ill-fitting clothing again. Mmkay? Bye! 

Leslie Mann

People were hating hard on Leslie Mann for having a "Belle" moment, but...this is the Oscars?? This is the very place to have whatever "moment" you want. I think she looks fabulous and that this dress was made even more adorable when she was enthusiastically fan-girling over JT in the opening number.  

Viola Davis

BAM. That is all. 

Ava Duvernay

Not originally on my list, but the more I looked at this, the more I liked it. Lace is a huge trend that's been all over the runways at fashion week, and I really like this icy gray color. Not to mention it fits her perfectly. 

All right. Line up the poor souls who didn't quite nail it. 
 

LESS FETCH:

Brie Larson

This made lots of people's Best Dressed lists, but I just can't. This isn't the best photo, but the dress has a huge flounce in front that kind of takes over when she walks. It looks like she's being slowly eaten by her dress. And if that's the case, she's gonna spend her last night on earth with really bad hair. If she was going for old Hollywood waves, then she should've brightened up the color or made the style more dramatic. As it is, she looks like she just got out of the pool and let it air dry. 

Octavia Spencer

This one was another source of major debate in my head. I LOVE Octavia Spencer (duh, who doesn't?), but this dress is just too...avian. The top is fine, neckline is pretty, but then you get to the bottom and it's just FEATHERS!!!! Or, if I'm being less generous, I'd say it looks like a pattern of bacteria slowly streaking across a petri dish. Color is great and she loved it which made it work on the red carpet, but...nope. 

Ryan Gosling's Shirt

For your convenience, I have blacked out his head, since, as we all know, it's impossible to look at Ryan Gosling and say anything bad about him. Just focus on the shirt. I get it, retro, blah blah blah, but...nah. The rest of the tux fits like a dream, so it's really a shame. Also, he's clenching that fist pretty hard...maybe he hates it, too? 

Taraji P. Henson

Man I really didn't mean to be dragging the stars of one of the best movies of the year, but...gotta keep on. Taraji is violating the old rule of "either boobs or legs, but not both." The whole thing just reads as tacky to me, and she normally nails it on the style front. Lately, though, her choices have looked so cheap and underwhelming. Did you get a new stylist, girl? Tell us the truth! We'll help you! The velvet was on point but the rest of this is too try-hard, which Taraji P. Henson certainly does NOT need to do. She's fabulous already - but this overtakes even her best "face."

Keith Urban's Highlights

Once again, for your convenience, I've removed Keith Urban's extremely likable face from the equation. Look at Nicole, and then look at that haircut next to her. You guys. Come on. WHEN is he going to get rid of the 90's chunky highlights and the mom mullet? This looks like what Kate Gosselin would've done had she been a musician. KEITH CAN YA HEAR ME? Time to move it along. "You'll Think Of Me" has taken on new meaning. I'll think of you, all right. Think of you haunting my nightmares with a head from 1994.

Naomie Harris

Yet another MAJOR internal struggle for me, so I'll just tell you what I loved and hated about it. I loved the color, the material (sequins), the head styling, and the jewelry. Didn't love the shoes or the fact that the bralette being separate from the skirt really skews her proportions in an unflattering way. It almost looks like the top is too small, even though it isn't - it's just tricks of the eye because the bottom half is so heavy relative to the top. This looks like a pageant dress to me, not an Oscar gown. 

Alicia Vikander's Spray Tan (and dress) 

What, what, what are you doing. First of all, the dress is bad. I am opposed, 100% of the time, to a pickup skirt or a tiered skirt. I HATE them. I think it's such a lazy design element and it looks really dated. That being said, WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS SHE SO ORANGE. And if you don't think she looks that bad...

Exactly. 

Charlize Theron

I may be in the minority here, but I hated this. Earrings were amazing, but the dress gave her a pin head. 

Kelly Ripa

...giant butterflies have landed on her dress. Need we carry on? 

Now for a little extra fun! 

Who wore it best? 

Michelle Williams v. Emma Roberts:

TBH I'm not wild about either of these dresses. Emma Roberts' neckline is super wide and I don't love that, but the details on that gown just beat her competitor. I love the lace detailing in the bodice. Michelle Williams' gown just looks a bit frumpy to me, especially when she usually tailors and fits her gowns within an inch of their lives. Disappointing, especially for someone nominated in a major category. 

Ruth Negga v. Ginnifer Goodwin

I don't even think this is a contest. Ginnifer Goodwin's gown is too "prairie." Also yikes, showing up to an awards show in essentially a worse version of the dress a major category nominee is wearing. 

Special commentary:

Halle Berry

That dress is a mess. That hair is fabulous. But THE BITCH. DOESN'T. AGE. Halle, please lead us to the fountain of youth. 

Dakota Johnson

If she had done without that weird front seashell-shaped panel (try saying that three times fast), it would've been a 10. Well...and if she'd steamed it, it would've been a 10. 

Hailee Steinfeld

Everybody's freaking out over this and I just don't care. Is that mean? It's just like...translucent grandma bedsheets. 

Isabelle Huppert

Girl, I GUESS so. 

Meryl Streep

She didn't wear her granny glasses on the red carpet, so that's about all we can ask. It's Mother of the Bride in every way, but it's also #meryl. Who got a standing ovation in the first 10 minutes of the show for no real reason. Because YES. 

Fetch or Wretch: Grammys 2017.

The Grammys, similar to the VMA's, marks the time when famous musicians let their freak flags fly. Boobs, sideboobs, underboobs, bellybuttons, underwear - we get to see it all! 

In honor of that, there will be no Fetch or Wretch columns this morning (because almost everyone is Wretch - spoiler alert!). Instead, there will be drive-by commentary on almost everyone. 

Let's get to gettin': 

Adele: 

Looks great and was totally endearing last night. Her acceptance speech where she basically Kanye'd herself into thanking Beyonce was precious and probably kept her from getting dragged in the blogs this morning since everyone with ears knows Beyonce should've won Album of the Year. Anyway, Adele, you nailed it. Would've liked a bolder lip, but that's it. 

J Lo

Giving us Angelina Jolie leg and looking like she put an Easter dress through a life-size shredder. J Lo, you're better than this dress. WAY better. But as always, you're also giving us #face. 

Katy Perry

Caterpillar! Half-worm! Cousin It! Snake while molting! Partially digested pipe cleaner! 

In other words, what the hell, Katy Perry?? 

Rihanna

She looks like the official spokesperson of Halloween. She's also one lift of her arms away from exposing both her bare breasts, as that top has no underwire and is just laying on her body. Riri, I love you girl, and I'm all for your bold choices, but this is a mess. Send that top back to an NFL cheerleader where it belongs. 

Lady Gaga

And speaking of underboob, WOW. She's really carrying that whole "shoulderpads only" thing from the Superbowl into her schtick. And if anyone gets too close, she can just shoot them with one of the poison darts on her forearms. 

Solange

Well this is pretty fabulous. Giving me "under the sea" vibes. Next. 

Demi Lovato

Somebody please wake me up with the naked dress trend is over. I feel like my eyeballs are rotting. It's been three years of this stuff. I mean, your bod looks great, but I'm distracted by the dark spot in your crotch where your bodysuit ends. And I don't think "I'm distracted by the dark spot in your crotch," was the reaction you were hoping for. 

Cee Lo Green

Taraji P. Henson

I think we should just all agree to pretend this never happened. Taraji honestly doesn't even look like she knows where she is. We know you are much too fabulous for this cheap looking, too-tight thing, girl. We'll keep walking and we'll never speak of this again.

Chrissy Teigen 

Like I said, wake me up when this is over. 

Andra Day

I have no idea who Andra Day is, but this is some serious old lady styling. Starting with the random flowers in her hair, I'm getting Phaedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta at her baby shower (anyone? anyone??), followed by a sherbet colored dress that makes me want some ice cream, and then some slippers everyone's grandmother has. Her head screams Priscilla Presley but her feet scream, "Murder She Wrote!" 

Lea Michele

Shhhhhhhhhhhh. Everybody lower your voices. Don't look directly at her. This is a Lea Michele, and it's really a treat that we get to see one today. They're very rare. Normally, Lea Micheles wear lots and lots of makeup and have sex hair, but it seems today we've found one that is going for a natural look. Without her makeup, she's very vulnerable and frightened, so no sudden movement. You can take pictures, but make sure there isn't a flash. She also seems to be unaware that her dress is see-through and her black underwear is pretty prominent. Good, everyone. Now, walk away slowly...

Charli XCX

🎶 You’ll love David’s Bridal! 🎶

Halsey

...P!nk? Is that you? 

Erika Jayne

QUEEEEEEEEN. I love her so so so so so much. I'm not even mad that she's yet another person wearing a Balmain dress with a topknot. I don't care. LOVE YOU GIRL CAN'T WAIT 'TIL THE RECORD DROPS!! 

Kristen Cavallari's Sternum

That's all. 

Giuliana Rancic

Can't decide if she wants to be a saloon girl or Kim Kardashian. And neither is working. 

Enya

That's right, ENYA's ass is still around. Why did I think she'd be a lot younger than this? Mother of the bride. Who also wore white and now the bride hates her. Sail away, Enya. 

Joy Villa

Let's hope whoever this is is making an ironic political statement? This is hideous. 

And to close with some truly crazy:

Girl Crush

No idea who this is but I appreciate the fact that she WENT FOR IT. Even her bag has gumballs on it. Get it, weirdo. You are the reason this is fun. 

Also, 

Bow. 

Down. 

Bitches. 

5 Things: Valentine's Gifts from the Heart

I don't know about you, but Valentine's Day is a little like New Year's Eve to me - lots and lots of expectation for a reason no one really knows. I love the opportunity to tell people i love them, but I loathe the cheesy card/teddy bear/dozen roses cliché. It's just not my style. 

Jordan's and my Valentine's tradition is to write each other a letter, then spend the evening gorging on pizza, champagne, and playing board games. It sounds a little trashy, but it gives us the opportunity to enjoy spending the day with each other without getting wound up in the gift-getting part of things. (It's also because both our birthdays are in January, so the idea of doing a gift per month for three months in a row is a little excessive. Ha!) 

So, in that vein, here are some ideas for the sweetheart in your life that won't break the bank and didn't come from the Hallmark section of the grocery  store: 

1. 52 reasons. 

This idea actually comes from something I saw my brother's girlfriend do for him a few years ago. It's THE CUTEST and so thoughtful! You write a reason on the back of each of 52 playing cards, then bind them together by hole-punching each card as you go. Your Valentine is left with a handmade booklet personalized by you. It's so sweet. 

2. Cook a meal. 

My mom's kitchen as she cooked our New Year's meal three years ago.

I mean, this one's a no-brainer, right?? Cooking for anyone is so romantic and such a labor of love - especially cooking something you don't particularly enjoy eating yourself. The other night, I made Jordan a bone-in ribeye because he is a steak person occasionally and I am a steak person absolutely NEVER. I think he appreciated that meal more than most I've cooked because he knew that I'd gone so far out of my way to do something he enjoyed. If cooking isn't in your comfort zone, branch out and give it a shot - more than ever, there are easy, healthy recipes all over the Internet. 

3. Plan an experience together. 

One of my favorite "experiences" with Jordan - wine tasting! 

Of course, this experience could be expensive (you could choose a concert or a trip), but it could also be something as simple as planning an entire day of activities for you and your sweetheart. Maybe you wake up, eat a diner breakfast, pack a lunch, go on a hike, have a picnic, sneak a glass of wine, come home, play a board game, and watch movies by the fire. IDEAL. The point is, you've put thought into what the recipient would enjoy doing and taken the "Well, what should we do now?" out of the equation. After all, you remember the memories you make, not what the other person spends.

4. Write a letter. 

Confession: I am a letter hoarder. If you've EVER written me a letter (or even a note in middle school, I'm sorry to admit), I probably still have it in a box in my basement. Jordan regularly threatens to put them all in a yard sale because they take up so much space, but I can't part with them! Something about the placement of pen on paper is so romantic to me, even if it's not a love letter. Writing a letter to your Valentine, whether it's platonic or filled with gooey sentiments, is a timeless gift. The act of sitting down and creating mental space in order to put your thoughts on a page is so thoughtful and special, this one is a knockout gift every time. 

5. Sweeten the deal. 

Photo c/o my fabulous friend Caroline, the pastry chef who made these. 

Okay, I know I already listed "cook a meal" as one of them, but come on. We have to talk about dessert. Hand-rolled truffles are some of the most fun (and messiest) things to attempt, especially with a friend or partner. It's worth a shot. In the end, even if your truffles look like they were made by a hyena, they'll still taste great and you'll both be covered in chocolate. If that's not a win, I don't know what is. 

However you celebrate, I hope you jam-pack your Valentine's Day with extra gratefulness for the loves in your life, whether they're romantic loves, Galentines, buddies, or sweet members of your family. You're certainly one of mine, reader! 

XO. 

Fetch or Wretch? Golden Globes 2017.

PLUNGING NECKLINES! 

...sorry, reflex. In case you missed it, there were about 50 of them last night. 

Let's get right to it, shall we? 

Fetch. 

Evan Rachel Wood. 

I will always be wild about a well-fitted suit or jumpsuit on a woman. She is slaying this and I want to borrow it. Mmkay, ERW? But leave that freaky robot personality at home. Thanks. 

Lily Collins

This isn't something I would choose, but she is wearing the hell out of it. I'm realizing that this "lots of lace, frippery, maybe-looks-like-someone's-drapes" trend is really kind of everywhere this year, so I'm embracing it. With bad head styling, this could've been dated and terrible. But it wasn't. 

Annette Bening

I mean she just looks damn good. 57 years old and, radiant, statuesque. Get it, girl. 

Emma Stone

Again, not something I would've chosen, but it works perfectly on an actress who's selling a movie-musical about a whimsical fantasy world. Emma Stone is just off-beat enough to pull this off. Though I'm not wild about the color. 

Janelle Monae

Okay, okay, I know, hot take. I just think this is SO FABULOUS and super fun. It's kooky, yes, but it's also perfectly styled and perfectly her. Even her toenails are black and white! Get outta here! I love it. It's okay to hate it. But I love it. 

Viola Davis

LOTS of canary yellow on the red carpet last night, but this was my favorite. This is the epitome of "BAM." Everything about Viola Davis makes me want to sit at her feet and learn her ways, but this look is particularly powerful. You can't miss her, and thank God. 

Reese Witherspoon

Certainly not as striking as Viola, but this is a case study in doing it right. Every single detail - hair, makeup, jewelry, the fit of the dress - is perfectly tuned. Werk that old Hollywood glam, Reese! 

Natalie Portman

The last of the bright yellows, Natalie serves up some serious Jackie Kennedy realness. And who doesn't need that? Also, SHE'S PREGNANT. So, yeah. She wins. 

Naomie Harris

Just plan gorgeousness. Doesn't get any better. Not in love with the plunging neckline proportionally, but everything else is pretty freakin' on point. 

Honorable Mention Fetch: 

Mandy Moore

It's pretty fabulous, don't get me wrong. That neckline is just a SKOSH too wide and too deep for me. I don't know what it is, but it's making my eyes bleed. Everything else is so lovely - 70's vibes with the hair, the dress, the makeup...could also be that I have a pre-existing prejudice against Mandy because in the early aughts she BUGGED SO MUCH. 

Sarah Paulson

Dressing like the award she eventually won. It's not my favorite dress I've seen her in, but I love this lady too much to leave her out. Get it, Sarah Paulson, you fabulous creature. You earned it.

...but enough with the pretty. Ladies and gentlemen, we're gathered here today to discuss the 

Wretch. 

Anna Kendrick

Oh, Anna Kendrick, how I wish you had not worn this. This dress, along with some unfortunate posing, gives the illusion that Anna is a mannequin who was assembled incorrectly. Her legs are facing square to the camera, her torso is turned to the side, and her head is facing back at us. Third graders across the country should study this photo as one of those Magic Eye images. This was so close to being good, but just...wasn't. 

Nicole Kidman

Shhhh. Nobody scare her. Everyone stand still. Nicole? (I'll handle it, she spooks easily.) Nicole, honey? Hey, it's okay, girl! It's okay. Shhhhh. I've got ya. I'm just gonna walk you over here into this limo and send you home, and when you wake up, this will all seem like a bad dream. 

Really, though, WHAT is happening. Free association with this dress: glitter baby shredder saloon STOP IT WITH THE NAKED DRESSES. 

Priyanka Chopra

8 pounds of makeup, a dress that is going to cause millions of "Is Priyanka Chopra pregnant" searches, and squished boobs. Girl, ya done missed the mark. 

SJP

I can't talk about this for reasons of loyalty, but for the sake of impartiality I had to include it. Anyway, next. 

Sophie Turner

Sad boobs. Right? Wasn't that your first thought? Asymmetry + droopy lines = sad. I cannot wait for this sheer dress trend to die. Why won't it die?? It's like the Hydra in Hercules - we manage to wrangle one sheer dress and three more pop up in its place. 

Sofia Vergara

Anna Chlumsky

I have a running theory that Anna Chlumsky has offended every gay man in Hollywood somehow, because I have yet to see her show up to an awards show looking her best. Everything about this, from the slick ponytail down to the chunky black peep-toes, is so terribly unfortunate. But I was always taught to say something nice instead of something mean, so...the color goes really well with the plants in the background? 

Blake Lively

I see where she was trying to go, but this is such an aging look. She looks like Elizabeth Taylor: The Later Years. You can do better than that, Blake. 

Carly Steel

I have absolutely no idea who this is, but WOW WOW WOW. Wow. I liked free association last time, so let's try it again: 

Bump-it, snake-neck, babyheads, mother of the bride. 

Fun! 

Felicity Jones

Just so I'm clear, are those ruffles at the top and on the sleeves sewn on/not real? I think so. And the ones at the bottom that look like sad little black palm trees. TOO MUCH. When did Toddlers and Tiaras become a design motif? BOWS! FRILLS! LACE! SMILE AT THE CAMERA HONEY! NOD YOUR HEAD! NOW DO A POUTY FACE AND WAG YOUR FINGER AT THE JUDGES! 

Chrissy Metz

Let me be clear RIGHT upfront that this has nothing to do with Chrissy and everything to do with Christian Siriano, who designed this look. Listen, I gotta give it up for my boy Christian Siriano, who I LOVE: he has taken on the clients that other designers are too snooty for. When Leslie Jones complained that no high-level designer had offered her any gowns for the Ghostbusters premiere, Christian Siriano stepped up and designed for her. He loves "non-traditional" body types. But this is a design failure. Instead of highlighting Chrissy's assets, Christian made her look like a frumpy purple rectangle. Disappointing. 

UPDATE: It seems that, though this was billed as a Christian Siriano, it wasn't. Apparently he'd designed two custom gowns for her, and she chose to wear another designer's dress at the last minute. Whew. That's a relief. Sorry, Christian! Your track record is still sparkling. 

...and now for the very WORST. Worst worst worst. Worst. Can't even believe it happened. 

THE WRETCHEST OF THEM ALL...

CUBA GOODING, JR.! 

What what WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 

Is that your son's suit? 
Did you have a romp with someone and accidentally switched jackets with her in the backseat of the limo? 
Did you spill wine on your coat and had to trade with your doorman who is also a little person? 
Are you trying to raise awareness for some group of people whose clothes don't fit? 

Truly awful. 

But let's leave on a happy note, shall we? 

...close enough.

5 Shows I Started, 4 I Dropped

Jordan and I made the decision when we got married to opt out of having cable. We have Netflix, Hulu, and HBO, and we feel like we have access to everything we need to watch. Here in the age of instant streaming, it's easy for me to sit down in front of the computer and mindlessly watch something for hours. But I'm resolved not to do that this year, and I've been slowly paring down my television choices so that they're more intentional. 

Don't worry - I'm still watching The Bachelor. God help us. 

So, beginning with the shows I stopped watching: 

Narcos

Available on Netflix.

I don't have a grand explanation for this choice besides that season two of Narcos just didn't grab me in the same way that the first season did. S1 of this Netflix original was so compelling and watchable, albeit violent and sometimes a little upsetting. The acting was fantastic and, as someone who is only peripherally familiar with the story of Pablo Escobar, it was compelling and kept me on the edge of my seat. But S2E1 just didn't deliver. We watched an episode when the new season dropped and then genuinely forgot about it. Maybe we'll return sometime in 2017, but I doubt it. 

Bloodline

Available on Netflix.

This was another great, promising Netflix original whose second season just missed the mark. Bloodline, though, was different - I actively disliked this second season, rather than being just ambivalent about it, as with Narcos. SPOILERS AHEAD - At the end of S1, Danny Rayburn, arguably the most interesting character, is murdered by his siblings. S2 was so overwrought and dark as the remaining Rayburn children try to cover their crime - it was all drama furrowed brows and no substance. Pass.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

I don't even know what channel this comes on. 

Well, I finally did it. As a latecomer to KUWTK (I started watching 2 years ago), this was easy to give up. I made a decision last year that I wasn't going to support anything to do with the Kardashian/West clan, including clicking on random Buzzfeed articles written about them or reading their tweets. I unfollowed them on Instagram, and this was the last piece of the puzzle. Because I can only vote with my choices, right? Either way, as the drama has gotten even more ridiculous than usual, I have never been happier to NOT be Keeping Up. 

unREAL

Available on Lifetime.

This was the most disappointing for me. unREAL was a brilliantly conceived show, designed as a mock-The Bachelor and created by a former assistant director of ABC's juggernaut reality series. While the first season was twisted, edgy, and definitely pushed the boundaries, the second season did all that and more, except with the first Black "suitor" (AKA bachelor) at the helm. SPOILERS AHEAD: the season ended with a police shootout between the Black contestant and his manager, who is also Black. unREAL may be a dark satire, but this was all too real and made viewers across the nation say, "Too soon." I appreciate what they were trying to do in the way of relevant and timely social commentary, but they had plenty of juicy subject matter (feminism, how women are treated in positions of power, what The Bachelor says about its viewers, what people are willing to do for fame) without dipping their toes into this particular pool. I'm not arguing those issues shouldn't be brought to light; I am arguing that dropping them in as a sensationalist plot point on a show about reality television is in poor taste. So sad to bid adieu to this show whose first season I was wild about. 

Moving on to shows I've picked up this year: 

Black Mirror

Available on Netflix.

Black Mirror and I have a complicated relationship. Unlike many Netflix shows, it's not binge-able. I watch one episode every two weeks or so. After turning the S1E1 off mid-episode because I was so horrified, I was reticent to give it another shot; I'm so glad I did. Since then, I've only watched two episodes - S3E1 starring Bryce Dallas Howard and S3E4, titled San Junipero. This cutting edge imagination of a not-too-distant future will pull you in, make you think, and challenge the way you see the world. Because it's a mini-series, you can watch each episode without having seen any before or after. It really is a beautifully shot, well-acted, INCREDIBLY written show. Give it a shot. 

Fargo

Available on Hulu.

And I've only seen one season. Jordan and I watched Billy Bob Thornton's season of this show on Hulu and were basically riveted to the television. An adaptation of the Coen brothers' movie of the same name, this show is show in film quality and you'll forget you're watching TV. I don't want to say too much in the way of describing it to save the fabulous plot for you, but trust me - this one's a must. 

Westworld

Available on HBO.

Okay okay, so I haven't technically started this one yet. But all my smartest friends are in love with it, and Jordan and I plan to start next week. So it kind of counts, right? 

Divorce

Available on HBO.

If you know anything about me, you know that SJP is my icon in all things. This new HBO show starring SJP and Thomas Hayden Church (who I remember best from George of the Jungle as Lyle - where are my 90's kids at?) explores the story of a couple navigating a divorce in all its stages; politeness, acceptance, revelation, honesty, catharsis, rage, ambivalence. I'm not totally sold on it, but I'm going to keep watching it because #SJP. I'll at least give it another season. 

This Is Us

Available on Hulu.

DAMN YOU, THIS IS US. I had a friend text me a few months back and insist that I start watching this show. I told her that I was giving up crappy TV for the most part, and she told me that was an unacceptable answer and I had to at least give it one episode. So did, and now I'm 100% in. This Is Us feels like one of those shows that is too good to be true and will lose its magic after the first season, but I'm going to be there to see it because I am TOTALLY HOOKED. I don't want to say too much, but watch the first episode all the way through and if you're not intrigued, I'll pay you $10. Plus we get to watch hottie HOT Milo Ventimiglia (Jess from Gilmore Girls) and the brilliant Sterling K. Brown (who wowed me in American Crime Story: The People vs. OJ Simpson).

---

SO.What about you? What TV have you bailed on, what are you still watching, and what are you looking to start? 

Gift Guide: For the Chef.

I thought it might be fun to suggest a few gifts for different kinds of people as we approach Christmas. To me, buying for someone who loves to be in the kitchen is not only simple, but really fun. There are so many gadgets and crazy kitchen tools at this point that you'll never run out of options. 

Most of these recommendations are smaller gifts, so I thought they'd group nicely together for kind of a bouquet of kitchen-related gifts! 

1. Food scraper

I use this almost every time I cook for anything from transferring chopped veggies to a pan to scraping the excess biscuit dough off of my cutting board; If you know someone without this, it's a must. Buy it here.   

2. Specialty salt

My mom gave all of us this heirloom salt from a family mine in West Virginia last year in our stockings. We've used it sparingly, so it's still around! Y'all, let me tell you - hand-mind salt just tastes better. It's so nice to have it around when you're hosting a dinner party or just feel like adding a depth of flavor to a weeknight meal. It really does make a difference. Buy it here. 

3. Cast iron skillet

Every cook needs a cast iron skillet. It's a kitchen non-negotiable. They cook evenly, go from your stovetop to your oven seamlessly, and last a lifetime. This 10.25 inch skillet from Lodge Cast Iron is available for $25 - and free shipping! Scoop it up here. 

4. Cheese board

Most people who love to cook also love to host. Having something pretty to put out on the countertop for a little pre-dinner nosh makes all the difference in the world. A polished, pretty cheese board, like this one from Williams Sonoma for $40, is a great gift and starts any party off right.

 5. Chef's knife

Context for this one: when Jordan and I got married, we forgot to register for knives. So for almost three years, I've been using his bachelor-pad knife set that couldn't cut through a sheet of paper. Can't count the number of times I've almost sliced off the tips of my fingers because I was pressing down so hard to chop a potato or an onion. Enter: my new best friend. 

Jordan was so precious and got me a "big girl" knife set for Christmas this year. GAME CHANGER. I immediately ran to the kitchen and chopped a potato - totally different experience. I barely applied pressure and was able to slice the potato so thinly that I could see through the slivers. If you know someone who's using a dated, awful knife set, I can guarantee this will bring them hours and hours of joy and satisfaction.

Happy hunting, friends!