Top 5 Gilmore Girls Characters

Recently, Jimmy Fallon revealed that he'd been marathoning Gilmore Girls for the first time in preparation for the November 25th. 

(By the way NOVEMBER 25TH IS SO CLOSE OMG OMG OMG I'M SO FREAKIN' EXCITED.) 

He ran down his Top 4 characters, excepting the actual Gilmore girls Lorelai and Rory (because, duh). In case you don't have time to watch it, his were 4. Taylor, 3. Luke, 2. Kirk, and 1. Paris. 

Solid list. Solid. He also revealed that he's #teamJess, which is fine, because he isn't even through season 4 yet. Give it time, my son. Give it time. 

SO, I decided I'd do a "5 Things" on this very subject. Along with excluding Lorelai and Rory, I'm also excluding Emily, who is technically a Gilmore girl and would also easily be in my top 5.

 5. Kirk. 

When you think about threads running consistently through the show, Kirk is one of those threads. He's had about 85,000 different jobs in Stars Hollow and is a staple of the kind of off-beat, but overall harmless, eccentricity of that town. Favorite Kirk moments of mine include his weird and creepy "evolution of man" dance at Miss Patty's anniversary show, and Luke and Lorelai's first kiss being interrupted by Kirk streaking down the stairs with night terrors. Not to mention that Sean Gunn, the actor who plays Kirk, is seriously funny and committed to all his physical comedy gags. That guy knows how to play a weirdo really well. 

4. Logan. 

"And that's how we do it at THE DAILY NEWS!" One of my all-time favorite moments in the series. Listen, don't get me wrong - all the boyfriends served their purpose at the time they were supposed to. We just happened to catch Logan in a particularly adult season of his life, so it's not really a fair fight. At this point, Jess had turned out to be a decent person, so I get it. Jess doesn't suck either. But Logan's Logan. Love how he loves Rory. LOVE that he'll be back in the re-boot. For more on why Logan is the best, click here. 

3. Paris. 

Paris has all the qualities of an unredeemable character with one special quality that keeps us from hating her: we are her. Everyone has a little Paris in them - whether it's her totally inflated sense of self, her ruthless ambition, her bossiness, her suspicion that everyone is out to get her, her impatience - on our worst days, we all have one or more of these traits. Which is why it's so satisfying to see a character who is totally, unapologetically herself in every situation. And for all her undesirable moments, she's the only peer who can keep pace with Rory. Favorite Paris moments: her slovenly speech after getting rejected from Harvard, her pitch that "everything looks better in leopard," and her entire relationship with Doyle. 

2. Sookie. 

Of course we can't leave this list without Melissa McCarthy! Who knew that from Sookie St. James, we'd get that character in Bridesmaids? Thank you, Gilmore Girls, for launching this career. Seriously though, Sookie is such a long-suffering friend. And I mean that sincerely - Lorelai tends to be kind of a condescending ass to Sookie. She's so precious and bubbly, and, once again, we have to give some props to Melissa McCarthy for the insane physical comedy chops. Favorite Sookie moments include her date with Jackson's cousin Roon, she and Jackson smuggling bags of weed through the town, and her collaboration with Luke to throw the going away party for Rory. 

1. Richard. 

Why am I crying?!?!?! 

Ugh. Okay. I mean, this would be the case whether or not sweet Edward Herrmann had died. Richard and Emily are my favorite non-Rory and Lorelai characters for many reasons. I think maybe it's because, as the oldest grandchild on both sides, I've gotten to watch my own grandfathers go through a similar evolution to Richard's: initially, not entirely sure how to handle young children/girls again; eventually, softer-hearted than their wives. Richard loves Rory and Lorelai so much that it actually hurts me to watch. Favorite moments include "only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch," his speech to Lorelai in the last episode, him enveloping Rory in a hug when she comes to see him after quitting Yale...basically everything he ever did. 

OH CRAP I FORGOT LUKE. Okay stick Luke in there somewhere. Damn. This is harder than I thought. 

How excited are we, people!? It's almost here. We've been waiting so long and it's SO CLOSE. Just a few more days. 

Us on Black Friday while the rest of the world is shopping: 

Beauty and the Beast Trailer

Let me start by saying that yes - there are a million things related to the election we could talk about. But my last three posts have been about the election, and this isn't a political blog. Gotta talk about other things from time to time. 

And what better thing to talk about than a video that had me in tears yesterday? 

In case you've been living under a Disney rock, Beauty and the Beast has been re-made into a live action movie with Emma Watson perfectly cast as Belle. 

Belle is, as many of you know, my favorite Disney princess by about a thousand miles. This is my favorite Disney movie of all time. I had a reeeeeeeeally high bar for what the new version should look like, and I wasn't disappointed. Not even a little bit. 

My original idea for this post was to do a shot-for-shot comparison of the trailer to the old animated movie, but upon logging into Facebook this morning, I discovered that my friends over at moviepilot.com (we're not friends, I'm just trying to sound cool) had already done that. So here's a tip of my hat to their fine work that I am about to steal and comment on. 

First, the trailer by itself: 

RIGHT? RIGHT?? DID YOU DIE???? 

Okay I know. It's so good. Everything is perfect. But follow me, nerds, as we take it a step further. The video below will take you through the entire new trailer shot-for-shot with the original movie. 

EVEN BETTER, RIGHT?? 

Proof that the Internet can still be a wonder place. 

Let's talk some stills for a moment, shall we? 

In the new movie, it looks like Maurice gets locked up for picking a rose from the Beast's rosebushes. Great casting here, as this guy 100% looks like he'd wander onto an abandoned, spooky ass property and start messing around with things. 

AMAZING. There's something about seeing these things in live-action that gives the the movie new life. Sure, it's easy to imagine talking furniture and appliances when it's animated, much like it's easy to imagine talking animals or talking toys. But when Lumiere and Cogsworth really look like a candlestick and a clock, then they start TALKING?? Enchantment is the only word. I just gave myself goosebumps. I am SO EXCITED. 

Along those same lines, MRS. POTTS, YOU GUYS. How perfect is that?? They even nailed the frilly edge along the top of the pot! I can't!! 

Sidebar, I also love that it sounds like they're taking a lot of the original movie verbatim into the new one. It's every 90's girl's dream.

Nailed it. 

Okay but really, NAILED IT. How can a human being capture the exact expression of an animated character? How? Tell me. All I know is he did. 

Now for the ones that choked your girl up.

WHO didn't love this scene in the original?? This is basically every nerdy girl's dream situation. It's the most spectacular. Emma Watson gets all the good parts. Also, in the same way we miss the true magic of talking furniture, we forget that the Beast actually has straight-up horns growing out of his head until we see them on a real life version. 

But seriously, the grandeur of the castle, the kind of dusty-light-through-the-windows...everything about this new movie seems pitch-perfect. 

Me when this part of the trailer came on: 

I'm just overwhelmed and SO excited that it looks like they've gotten it so right. Every choice they made in terms of casting, costuming, set design - it's all transporting us to a real-life version of this world we all wish actually existed. This is the epitome of Disney magic. 

WHY MUST WE WAIT UNTIL MARCH?! 

What do you think?? Do you love it or do you love it? 

(If you don't love it you gotta go somewhere else). 

I knew it. You loved it. 

5 Things: Podcast Roundup.

What should you be listening to? Allow me. 

A few people have asked me to do some podcast recommendations on the blog. In February, I made a list of five (This American Life, Serial, WTF with Marc Maron, Stuff You Should Know, and my podcast with Jordan - shameless, I know). Here's five more you can delight your ears with this weekend. 

In no particular order: 

1. The Moth 

Genre: Storytelling, nonfiction. 

What's it about? The Moth is recorded live, which makes it especially dynamic because there's an actual audience. There's a loose theme presented, then people tell stories related to that theme. It started out as an actual show, packing small rooms all over the country, before transforming into a podcast. 

What would it be rated? Anything from G to R - it depends on the storyteller. The same is true for the overall effect - some of these stories are hysterical, while some of them rip your guts out. I can vividly remember driving home one afternoon while listening to The Moth and having to pull over because I was in tears. It'll getcha. 

Where do I start? Just choose one and jump in. You can get a little taste for what it's like by watching this clip from the season finale of Girls last year. Disclaimer: This clip is pretty foul. Not all stories on this podcast are like this. Not even most of them, really.

2. Beautiful Anonymous

Genre: Well...any and everything, really. Confessional? 

What's it about? Okay. This is such a cool idea. There's this comedian named Chris Gethard who hosts a weekly call. Anyone can call in to this particular phone line, and if he answers, then you have up to an hour to talk about whatever you want. The catch is, he doesn't want to know your name or any specific identifying details about you, beyond what you choose to offer up. He stays on the phone until the one hour mark, then the call is over. He can't hang up until you hang up. 

What would it be rated? Again, anything from G to R. There is some intense stuff discussed on this podcast, as can be expected given that it's anonymous. There's also some truly hilarious stuff. It's a grab bag. It's also a pretty new podcast - he's only recorded 35 episodes - so it's fun to watch him find his footing. 

Where should I start? My favorite one so far has been this conversation between Chris and a guy in his 30's - they start out talking about passports and end up talking about the details of Judaism. It's called Passport, Exodus. 

3. TED Radio Hour

Genre: ALL THE THINGS. 

What's it about? I can practically hear the voice of Guy Raz as I type this. So TED (which stands for "technology," "entertainment," and "design,") is an organization that hosts talks all around the world. I'm sure you've heard of it. Brilliant people get up and explain something awesome. On TED Radio Hour, the host, Guy Raz, takes those same speakers and talks more with with them. You get to hear both clips of their talks and interviews with them, plumbing the depths of their subject. 

What would it be rated? G or PG, mostly. He'll tell you if otherwise. 

Where should I start? How We Love, Maslow's Human Needs, What We Fear, 7 Deadly Sins...you can't go wrong. Visit the page and start falling in love here. 

4. WTF with Marc Maron

SO I'm cheating and listing this one again because I listen to it every week.

Genre: Interview, comedy. 

What's it about?  Incredibly foul comedian and TV star Marc Maron sits down with celebrities and interviews them for an hour. He does a little "bit" at the beginning of each episode, which is always funny and usually self-deprecating in a disarming way (but if you're short on time, skip it). The interviews are poignant, interesting, and (of course) hilarious. You'll learn lots about your favorite actors, authors, and musicians that you didn't know before. 

What would it be rated? PG-13 or R. And it's not even because the content is mature, it's because Maron has the such a filthy mouth. I mean, the "f" word is part of his title, for the love. 

Where should I start? There are so many good ones here that it's hard to list. Sarah Jessica Parker was just interviewed, hers is great. President Obama was on this podcast and it was brilliant. Louis CK did a two-parter. You can't go wrong. Start listening here. 

5. Fresh Air

Genre: Interview, informational. 

What's it about? Oh, it's just about my favorite freakin' person Terry Gross interviewing newsmakers. She is so brilliant and so smart - lots of people of import are on the show, and lots of people you've never heard of are on the show. Either way, you leave with a deeper understanding of whatever it is she's asking about. And I promise you, you'll love her. This is also #11 on the iTunes podcast chart, so, you know. It's no slouch. 

What would it be rated? G! It's public radio, after all. 

Where should I start? Well, Stephen Colbert was interviewed a couple of days ago and he was fantastic. Start there! He actually made Terry LOL several times, and when the normally-staid-and-professional Terry Gross gets tickled, it's just delightful. 

Happy listening, folks! Play them on your walks, runs, grocery store trips, car rides...podcasts are the very best. 

Fetch or Wretch: CMA Red Carpet.

The biggest night in country music, people! If you haven't already seen it, the best thing to come out of that awards show is this Beyonce/Dixie Chicks performance. If you grew up in the 90's, this will make you get up and dance. Trust. 

I shouldn't have led with that - the rest of this post will be a let-down. 

But, we press on. 

You guys know the drill, so let's just get down to it. BRING ON THE WHITE PEOPLE! 

Fetch. 

 

Nicole Kidman

Okay yes, this is a little too "on-the-nose" literal, but I think she's making it work. The color is beautiful on her, the fit is great, and poor Nicole has had a history of making bad head choices. Her head looks great here! Nicole found her some country music gays to floof up that hair. I'm proud of her. 

Kacey Musgraves

A few things. First of all, I'm probably being blinded by my love for Kacey Musgraves (who is super talented and you should listen to her stuff if you haven't already). Her whole schtick is to wear very "frou-frou" clothes and then sing songs about trailer parks. Traditionally, I loathe pickup skirts or tiered skirts like this, but I think I love it here because it's so exaggerated. She really does look like one of those Barbies shoved in the top of a birthday cake. She also has the best people in town doing her makeup, because she is actually poreless.

My only real complaint is that the bust is too full. It looks like she's trying to smuggle something into the venue in her bodice. Whatcha got in there, girl? Booze? Puppies? A few McDonald's cheeseburgers ('cause I sure would). 

Carrie Underwood, I GUESS. 

Country Music Barbie. My eyes are rolled all the way back in my head. Everything she wears is princess-y and neutral. Don't believe me? 

...right. So. As I was saying. 

Okay, okay, she looks pretty and the dress fits and her head styling looks great. But would some color KILL HER? I think not. 

Gymnasts! 

Laurie Hernandez, Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Madison Kocian, and Gabby Douglas. 

Of course there are some basic things that could be fixed (don't love the length of Gabby's dress + a train; Laurie Hernandez is underdressed a bit), but overall, I think these ladies look great. They're having fun, they're stepping out - and you know what? They're athletes. They're not red carpet celebrities. So they get a more lenient hand in the judging process. Fetch! Fetch for all! 

Reba

Wouldja just look at 'er? She's so cute! Great job choosing something age-appropriate, flattering, and formal. Her hair and makeup look great - I would cosign on this look any day. Go, Reba!! And she's 61, so, you know. #werk 

...that pretty much does it for the good ones. The bad ones, I'm afraid, are much more worse. 

Wretch. 

Sharon Stone

Number one: Whatcha doin' at the CMA's, Sharon Stone??

Number two: Sharon here, only 3 years younger than Reba, opted for a very different route. Look, girl, we all know your brand is SEXY, but you have to know when to pump the brakes. It looks a little like you were pledging a sorority, got drugged, had half your head shaved in the car, then got shoved out of a limo in this dress. Sharon, do you need help? Blink twice if you're being held here against your will. 

Faith Hill

Ohhhhhhhhhh, Faith. 

It's been a long, slow descent ever since this moment: 

I really don't know what to say about this look because I can't figure out where to start. This is a perfect example of a Franken-dress (copyright Tom and Lorenzo) - it can't figure out what it wants to be. Sparkly! Sleek! Peplum! Shiny! Matte! And speaking of people who look like they're being held against their will...yikes. Faith, go home. Put on a mask. Sink into a bubble bath. Have Tim McGraw give you a shoulder rub. You need a day off. 

Miss America, Savvy Shields

... 

... 

...

Can't wear a pageant dress on the red carpet, Sav. Also, don't look behind you, but your dress is being slowly eaten by another dress. Run away, girl!!! 

Elle King

I AM I, DON QUIXOTE, THE LORD OF LA MANCHA!! 

But seriously. 

I have no idea who this person is, but she obviously slept in her Halloween costume from a few days ago. Part of me wants to give her credit for having the stones to wear this on the red carpet, but the other part of me is too busy recovering from the series of eye-twitches I collapsed into after seeing this combination of fringe and corset. I mean...you do you, sister. But for me, this one's a miss. 

Gretchen Wilson

I seem to remember this woman telling us in no uncertain terms that she "ain't no high class broad," and yet, somehow that still doesn't excuse wearing a t-shirt and leggings (maybe even tights, actually) to a black-tie event. 

Listen, Gretch: if you're invited somewhere thousands of people would kill to be, show a little respect. At the very least, put on some pants. You are officially the wretchest of them all.

That does it, people. May we all go forth and make good style choices. Amen.  

The Top 5 Halloween-Themed Episodes of TV

I don't know why, but I have come to love Halloween. It probably has something to do with my husband, who loves to dress up and think of smart ways to execute a costume. This morning, for example, his dental practice is dressing up with a barnyard theme in mind. He decided to go as Old McDonald, so, naturally, he made himself a new nametag: 

Cute, right? 

I have had such fun plans the last two Halloweens - two great parties - and this year, we don't have anything going on. So tonight, we'll be turning on the spooky sound effects, entertaining trick-or-treaters, getting chocolate wasted, and marathoning these shows. 

There's nothing better than a few fun episodes of TV to get you in the mood. 

Let's start with 5 and work our way up. 

5. Slutty Pumpkin - How I Met Your Mother

Look, it's not groundbreaking television, but it features one of the more well-known jokes that runs throughout HIMYM. If you're a fan of the show, you'll be treated to some classic Barney tricks, an over-the-top gooey Ted pep-talk, and some Lily and Marshall cuteness. Blessedly, this episode is in Season 1 of the show, so although HIMYM hasn't quite hit its stride, it also hasn't become completely over-the-top unbearable. Yet. Available to stream on Netflix.

4. Halloween - Modern Family

Back in Modern Family's early days, I was still watching each episode as it aired, and I remember this one specifically from that era. First of all, Gloria's sub-plot is that she is frustrated with her accent ("baby cheeses" becomes "baby Jesus") and that alone is worth the watch. But Claire and Phil's love for all things spooky and corny is to die for. I think Jordan and I might accidentally become them at some point. It's not available to stream, I discovered, unless you click this link. Then it is. (You're welcome.) 

3. Community - Epidemiology

Another Season 2 triumph. Community is not a show with which you're familiar, let me solve that problem right now. This show is pretty hilarious, and this episode is a great one to start with. At a big Halloween party, guest after guest starts exhibiting zombie-like symptoms. I won't spoil it for you, of course, but it's a hilarious and sometimes even a little spooky episode of television. Available on Hulu. 

2. Halloween - The Office

If you know me well, you know that The Office is my "cult-level-following" TV show. This show actually boasts a handful of great Halloween episodes, but this is my favorite. There are about a million great costumes here -- Michael's two heads, Dwight's Sith Lord, Three-Hole Punch Jim, etc. In YET ANOTHER Season 2 Halloween episode, Michael's been saddled with laying off an employee, but doesn't want to because he fears it will make him unpopular. There are a lot of gems here - Jim and Pam cuteness, some FANTASTIC Dwight Schrute moments - you'll have to watch for yourself. Available on Netflix. 

1. Parks and Rec - Greg Pikitis

And yet, as much as I love The Office (and I do, an unhealthy amount), this episode takes the cake. If you can only watch one Halloween-themed episode of TV, this is your winner. In what I'm another of beginning to feel are a totally suspicious amount of Season 2 Halloween-themed episodes, this one from P&R wins. Local teenage punk Greg Pikitis loads this episode with a special kind of awesome. Inside, you'll find: the birth of Andy Dwyer's alter-ego Agent Bert Macklin, a guest appearance by Louis CK, some of Aziz Ansari's finest work, and an irrational, vengeance-seeking Leslie Knope with whom all of us can identify. It is laugh-out-loud funny the entire way through. We watched it last night and will watch again this evening. Two words: peach pit. Available on Netflix. 

Hope everyone saw/wore some great costumes this weekend. Happy Halloween! 

...and please, make sure to give trick-or-treaters some teeth-rotting goodies tonight. Do your partto keep your local dentists in business. 

50 Thoughts About the Gilmore Girls Trailer

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS. 

I said that out loud in a very emphatic voice when someone tagged me in this glorious new trailer yesterday.

Also, can we talk about how the marketing people at Netflix are really knocking it out of the park? Between the first trailer, the pop-up Luke's at coffee shops nationwide, and this gem of a teaser, we are all more or less salivating at this point. 

This trailer certainly offered more than the previous one did - we got to see all the characters, learn a little about everyone's lives, flash through various sets in Stars Hollow that we all know and love. It was a doozie. Let's get to gettin'. 

I will narrate my thoughts as they occurred: 

1. I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
2. Oh they're talking about food. This pleases me. They ate so much they don't remember what they watched. #beenthere 

3. ...did this actually happen? *Googles* It did. HOW did I not know that Tori Spelling made herself a human wonton?? 
4. Rory has officially graduated from talking in that kind of semi-baby voice that she used when she was a fetus. And she learned to stand up straight.
5. WHY aren't those coffee cups from Luke's?! 

6. Lorelai's pink coat. *hearts appear in eyes* It's not exactly the same coat as before (that one had gold buttons), but I have to believe they want it to be a deliberate call-back to the pink coat she wore in the photo above (and many other times throughout the show) because fans LOVED that coat. So this new version is a bit more polished and grown up, but it's still Lorelai's pink coat. 
7. Why does her kitchen look so different?? 
8. Oh, it's been renovated! Even since the big renovation in later seasons, she's done more to it. Interesting. The cabinets are now painted mint instead of white, the refrigerator has been updated, etc. (Sorry for the grainy "before" photo.) 

9. One thing that hasn't changed at all: LUKE. And I'm here for that. 
10. I'm already gonna have a hard time with Edward Herrmann/Richard Gilmore's death. I don't like it and you can't make me. 
11. This. Of course Emily did this. 

12. Okay NOW we're getting some details. So Rory is job-less? Hmm.
13. So we know that she went on the campaign trail with then-Senator Obama (hey, that worked out pretty nicely for her) - are we to believe she hasn't nailed down a job since then??
14. Or is this some kind of interim period between a couple of jobs? 
15. OR is she secretly moonlighting as a cosplayer and doesn't want her family to know about her secret dreams?? (Probably not that one.) 

16. Why the hell is KIRK at Friday Night Dinner?? 

17. Kelly Bishop (Emily) looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Either she doesn't age, or she's had some pretty incredible work done. Have your people call my people, girl. 
18. GILMORE GUYS SIGHTING. 

19. Are Lorelai and Luke in couple's counseling?? 

20. Oh. It's just her.
21. ...is she in therapy about her relationship??
22. Have we waited all this time just to figure out they're going to break up?!?! 
23. I really don't know what I'm going to do about this. 
24. Is it irrational to have actual anxiety over a TV show that hasn't even aired? 
25. YOU SHUT UP, I KNOW IT'S IRRATIONAL. 
26. EMILY GILMORE IN A T-SHIRT AND JEANS, EMILY GILMORE IN A T-SHIRT AND JEANS. 

27. Even better: Emily Gilmore in a t-shirt and jeans Marie Kondo-ing her house. I'm dying. This is so brilliant. 
28. Leave it to Amy Sherman-Palladino to find current pop culture references to integrate into the show. 
29. I honestly feel scandalized looking at Emily's upper arms. I feel like I should look away - like it's indecent somehow. 
30. That being said, once again, go Kelly Freakin' Bishop. Lookin' like a million $$! She's 72, y'all!!
31. Oh my gosh. My heart.  

32. Just take me now, Jesus. I can't handle Richard's funeral. 
33. But Richard, you PROMISED.  

34. I don't know why I just did that to us because of course I'm crying. Okay but back to this photo: 

35. Some genius at Buzzfeed caught this and I'll just link it here instead of trying to re-explain it. All of this to say, the level of detail being included in this re-boot is what makes Gilmore Girls the show that it is. 
36. RORY AND JESS. 

37. Where are they?
38. Does one of them work in a newspaper or publishing house? 
39. Is he interviewing her for a job? 
40. Is she interviewing him? 
41. Why do they have so much chemistry? Why does Jess have Dean's old haircut? Why are they drinking scotch at work?
42. Are they just commiserating about life? 
42. WHERE'S LOGAN??
43. Taylor!  

44. PARIS!!!! (Who is...a teacher/HEADMASTER at Chilton????? AMAZING.) 

45. ...Dean. More like BEAN. Prob'ly still works at Doose's, where all the CHEATERS work. 

46. LOGAN. 

47. MICHEL!!

48. A tiny teacup pig!!! 

49. Babette and (skinny!!) Miss Patty! 

50. ALL OF THIS (including Melissa McCarthy who better be in this show for longer than a scene, or so help me...):

51. Okay this is going to be freaking incredible. I CANNOT WAIT. I have so many feelings. 

Exactly.