Fetch or Wretch: Met Gala 2017

It's that time again, people. Running down the celebrity styles, because you KNOW they care what we think. 

The theme for this year's Met Ball is Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons. Rei Kawakubo is one of (I think) only two designers ever to have been honored in their lifetimes at the Met Gala. As I'm writing this, it's Monday evening and I'm watching the outfits roll in. We should expect, per the theme, to see a lot of architectural and abstract looks. If there's ever a time to get crazy, now is the moment. 

A note: We at DHDG do not feature Kardashians or their spouses anymore. We're sick of them and they never wear anything worth noting. 

LINE 'EM UP! 

Fetch:

Gisele Bundchen

People, this one BARELY made the cut. Not because Gisele isn't a perfect human specimen (she is) or because the dress doesn't knock me out with fit and taste (it does), but because Gisele is one of the hosts of the party this year. And THIS is what she chose to wear on an evening celebrating avant garde designs?? I'm snoring. Next. 

Lily Collins

Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. You werq that freaky goth Barbie ballerina of your nightmares baby doll wig, Lily! Perfect fit, perfect execution, perfect girl to wear it. 5 stars. 

Katie Holmes

Don't worry, I was surprised as you were that THIS name is on the Fetch list. I have had a longstanding, irksome feeling toward Katie Holmes and her stoke mouth-speech, probably precipitated by this bastardization of one of my all-time favorite Broadway tunes. Ugh I just made the mistake of re-watching that and somehow it's even worse than I remember. Anyway this dress is good I can't say any more about her, good job escaping from Scientology, see ya. 

Elizabeth Banks

I will never know if I actually like this or if I've just been hypnotized into believing I do. But for now, I'm so all over this checkerboard nonsense. Pretty hair, pretty makeup, pretty dress. 

Lena Dunham

Another one that I can't believe I'm including in this category, but it is so rare that Lena gets it even in the BALLPARK of right that we need to celebrate her choices. Even if she does look like a Scottish marm. 

Riley Keough

Feel like this would've been better suited for last year's theme, Manus x. Machina, but still. Cool, high-impact, well-fitted, and worn by a freaky girl. Do I know this person? What has she been in? 

Emmy Rossum

That bust line could be just a teeeeeny tiny bit higher to balance everything out proportionally, but that big ridiculous bow is the stuff of Southern girls' dreams. Keeping the styling understated was wise. 

Katy Perry

Okay this is very stylized, insane, almost difficult to look at, but I have decided that I like it. Katy Perry is also hosting the evening, and as I said, if there's ever a time to get weird, it's now. And Katy Perry is weird all the time. And her third eye is looking at you, so don't say anything mean. 

Zendaya

SHUTTING IT DOWN. 

J Lo

Yeah, it's boring, but she's still J Lo and she still looks amazing. 

Tracee Ellis Ross

YES. WEIRD. FASHION, BABY. Could've gone with a different shoe in my opinion, but I also just think Tracee is SERVING. She's had a great red carpet streak lately and it makes me happy. Although if you look at it just right, it looks like she put her coat on backwards. Or maybe even sideways. But no matter. 

Sean Combs

I couldn't care less about that dress over there, so please re-direct your gaze to Diddy, who is literally lounging on the steps in a CAPE.

Rihanna

Don't think about it too hard. Just love it. 

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

Shhhhhhhh. No sudden movements. What we have here is a rare sighting of two New York specimens, old women at a young age, scary and fascinating all at once. They are THE ILLUSIVE OLSEN TWINS and they believe the camera steals their soul. (Just the one soul.) 

Blake Lively

This is crazy and I love it. Glad she chose something that wasn't too tight. I think this works really well on her and the blue feathers are everything. 

Cara Delevingne

Unlike fake British person Dorit Kemsley (you're either laughing at this reference or totally confused), real British person Cara Delevingne's metallic hair is FABULOUS.

Ruby Rose

Am I crazy for loving this?? Dead on the theme and I love that her tattoos are visible. I think it's cool. She looks great. 

WRETCH. 

Claire Danes

Let's play word association: sexy pirate hooker shirt from Seinfeld missing eyebrows barmaid. ...none of those words go together, girl. Whatcha got on your body?? 

Priyanka Chopra

I feel like I'm going to be in the minority of people who pan this, but I just...can't. She gets points for drama and impact, but that footwear is just plan wrong and the dress feels like weird cross between flasher and prom dress made by the weird girl at school. And it's a shame because Miss Priyanka usually turns it out. 

Rose Byrne

So close, and yet...not. I LOVE me some Rose Byrne, but this is just unflattering and bad in many ways. Although I am really here for that hair. Seriously. 

Sophie Turner

Off the rack at David's Bridal. 

Hailee Steinfeld

Do you think she looked in the mirror and thought, "YES. Nailed it. Overtly sexy, mildly culturally offensive baby. Exactly what I was going for." 'Cause, you know. that's what she got. 

Kerry Washington

That girl in the background is basically mimicking my exact facial expression. Girl, WUT?  

Celine Dion

Celine is self conscious so she's wearing a t-shirt over her bathing suit. Or, rather, under. 

Solange

Okay I wanted to like this so much. I sat here staring at it, trying to make it work. But I hate it. I just do. The puffer coat train is what did it for me. 

Nicki Minaj

NO.

Thandie Newton

CHIQUITA BANANA I LOVE YOUR WORK! 

Step Away From The Cellular Device

Last week, I was in Birmingham for a project that I'm working on with some of my former students. Ginny Tyler, one of my best friends and my host for the week, and I went to a cute restaurant downtown called Feast and Forest. We got our coffees and beautifully plated meals, and settled into our table. 

And then I watched a crazy thing happen. 

A group of four young girls, probably around 22, strolled in. They were dressed to hipster perfection: dark lipstick, topknots, denim cutoffs, mirrored sunglasses, ironic band t-shirts, tattoos of birds prominently displayed on the back of one of their thighs. To be fair, they were dressed more appropriately for the restaurant - Ginny and I looked like the lame young moms had arrived in our Lululemon. 

It was what happened next that blew my mind. 

Before they even ordered, one of the girls (we'll call her Sunglasses, since she wore them indoors the whole meal) made her way to a vacant table and started posing behind it. Another of the girls, Topknot, started snapping Sunglasses' picture. And not just one. Several. Maybe a dozen. Different poses, different angles. None of them included the girl looking at the camera -they were all candid. 

Ginny's back was to this scene, but my brow furrowed and I watched in disappointment as this experience became more about what they were going to post on Instagram than enjoying each other's company. It was far from over. 

The four girls sat at the table together, on their phones, waiting for their food to arrive. Not a one of them looked up or spoke to each other. One of them took a call and I realized that they were actually on vacation. This was how they were spending it: without interacting.

When the food arrived, like robots, all four girls took out their phones and started photographing their food. Once they were satisfied with those pictures, Sunglasses looked at Topknot, who wordlessly picked her phone back up. Sunglasses posed with her coffee: coffee cup on the table, coffee cup to her lips, coffee cup mid-way between table and lips while looking wistfully into the distance. 

Topknot easily took 30 pictures of Sunglasses before either of them actually took a sip of their drinks or a bite of their food. I was rendered completely speechless as these girls, totally ignorant of the fact that everyone in the restaurant was watching in horror, had photo shoot after photo shoot for their social media accounts. 

So here's where I confess that my hands are not clean: I love Instagram. I love taking pictures. I have certainly asked the waitress to take a photo of my friends and I after a special meal. I've taken pictures of my food. It took me a while to figure out what about this bothered me so much. 

Part of it was the lack of self-awareness; the open vanity and shamelessness of it all. But I think the bigger part was that it made me genuinely sad. These friends who'd traveled to be in a place together were so addicted to social media - to the idea of presenting the fun they were having instead of actually having fun - that they weren't even speaking to each other. They weren't having an experience, they were just crafting what they wanted others to think they were experiencing. 

How many of their friends, I wonder, saw those photos and were so jealous of the fabulous breakfast these girls ate together? How many wished they could be around that table, talking and laughing? Would they have been as envious if they'd known that there wasn't any talking or laughing at all? 

I listen to a great podcast called Hidden Brain, and one of the most recent episode was called SchadenFacebook, playing on the term "schadenfreude," or, "taking pleasure in other people's pain." In it, the host, Shanker Vedantem, discusses how social media actually makes us sadder. Until recently, we weren't sure whether the fact that people who use lots of social media were sad was correlation or causation; rather - are they sad because they use it, or are they already sad, and happen to use it?

A recent study done by Tel Aviv University revealed that it's Option A: we're sad because we use it.  Here's why:

FOMO. It's all about Fear of Missing Out. When our friends used to go on a trip, or hang out without us, we didn't really know because they weren't posting pictures of it left and right. Now, even if you've had the best day of your life - an incredible vacation doing adventurous things - when you look at Facebook or Instagram and see your friends back home at dinner without you, you automatically feel bad. Your day starts to pale in comparison to that one dinner, simply from a fear that a joke will be made that you won't be in on. 

ISN'T. THAT. INSANE?! 

I am certainly not a model citizen in this movement: I check my phone WAY too much, post an Instagram a week (or so). And I don't mean to judge Topknot and Sunglasses and their two other friends, because Lord knows I've been just as obnoxious in my life. But it made me sit and wonder what we can do to free this upcoming generation from finding their validation in a screen instead of in the mirror, or in the faces of the people they love who are sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THEM.

To figure it out, I'm afraid, we have to actually put the phones down and speak to each other. It's suddenly a novel concept. But it made me look at my own social media usage a bit more critically. I can stand to do better. What about you? 

5 Things: Easy Ways to Protect Your Online Privacy

In case you missed it, Congress voted to dismantle a law that protected lots of elements of our online privacy. We've all had that moment when an ad for something we were just looking at on another website pops up on Facebook, but this is about more than cookies and ads.

The dissolution of this legislation will allow internet service providers (ISP's) to sell private information like your browsing history, app usage, location, who visits your house and logs onto your WiFi, location services, e-mail content, and more, to the highest bidder without your permission. Go ahead and imagine the most embarrassing thing you've ever Googled. Mmhmm. That's up for grabs, people. Yikes. 

While many think that the government has probably had access to this sort of information already (I mean, think CIA here - what can't they do??), the big difference is that this (often very personal) data would be sold to financial companies, insurers, financial companies, etc. 

SO. How can you give yourself a little protection? 

1. Use HTTPS. 

Most URL's begin with "http://." By enabling "HTTPS Everywhere," available here, your ISP will be able to see what website you're on, but not what specific page you're viewing. Installing the extension will automatically take you to the HTTPS version of the website (exactly the same as the HTTP version) and add a layer of protection to your Internet browsing. 

2. Encryption. 

Using encrypted texting is really easy through apps like Signal or WhatsApp. They allow ISP's to see that you're using the app, but not who you're texting or what you're saying. 

3. Two-step e-mail verification. 

E-mail is one of the scariest things that I can imagine getting compromised, because once someone has access to your e-mail, they can reset all your passwords for any other websites (like banking). If you have GMail, it's super simple to turn on a two-step verification (meaning, if you log in to your e-mail from an unknown network or computer, you'll have to complete a second step in order to get to your inbox, like entering a code you receive via text). It's a tiny bit inconvenient, but it's worth it when considering the alternative! 

4. Don't click on links directly from texts or e-mails unless you're expecting them. 

This one is definitely a pain in the ass, but, again, may be worth it. Experts have discovered that many links passed through e-mail or texts have picked up malware (software that will cause your computer to run poorly and/or shut down) along the way. Instead of clicking links directly from your e-mail, copy/paste them into a search bar and go to the website from there. Rule of thumb: don't click on any links, especially to services that require login information like your bank, Amazon account, etc., without being 100% that the e-mail is legit. 

Okay, so that's only four things. But hopefully they're helpful! It's easy to get spooked during moments like this one, but fear not. We're all okay. Deep breaths. Just take the extra steps, protect yourself, and, as always, if you don't like that this took place, call your legislator. 

Happy weekend, folks! 

Fetch or Wretch: The Oscars

Normally I just go straight into fashion commentary, but I have to say a few things about last night's Oscars: 

1. After weeks (months, really) of depressing, upsetting news, this awards show was feel-good moment after feel-good moment. No sarcasm. 
2. #oscarssowhite is officially a thing of the past. 
3. Jimmy Kimmel did a fantastic job. 
4. What happened with Best Picture? That was real crazy. 
5. There were so many metallic dresses on the red carpet that my eyes started to bleed a little bit. 

Okay, let's get on with it. To be honest, the red carpet was not nearly as polarized it typically is, with a wide chasm between "fetch" and "wretch." Last night, it was more "fetch" and "less fetch," with a few bonus categories near the bottom.
 

FETCH:

Jessica Biel

I have minor quibbles with the dress (the distressed detailing on a metallic gown is weird to me), but overall, I think this is a knockout look. Jessica Biel usually doesn't strike the right chord when it comes to fashion-y things, but she has a killer face AND bod, so I always wonder how she manages to get it so wrong. Hair, makeup, everything - good job, girl. 

Emma Stone

I was on the fence about this until I saw her walk in it and figured out that the entire bottom half is fringe. I thought this was perfect for so many reasons: it fits her like a dream, the head styling is perfection, she's dressed like the award she eventually won, and she's doing it all while giving a nod to the old Hollywood glam of the movie she starred in. Get it. 

Janelle Monae

I mean, capital D A M N. I LOVE this dress so much. I love that she looks like a Roman gladiator space princess. I love that she is posing like her life depends on it. I love that she stayed true to her black and white style while adding just the slightest bit of metallic color. I love that it was the only "moment" on the red carpet last night, as everyone else's dress was #typical. Thank you, Janelle, for allllllll of this dress. 

Nicole Kidman

This almost doesn't work because it's exactly her skin tone, but this is another one that after I saw her move in it, I changed my opinion. A bold red lip was the way to go to make sure it didn't wash her out completely, and the dress itself is delicate and gorgeous. It wouldn't have killed me if she had a tiny bit of a tan, but as a fellow pale girl/vampire skin, I get it. 

Ruth Negga

Apparently this is unpopular, but I loved this look. First of all, the fit is gorgeous and Ruth has been wearing unusual gown after unusual gown this awards season, which I love. Secondly, the color offsets the ACLU ribbon placed prominently on her chest, which I'm sure isn't an accident. Love the hair, love the dark lip. 

The Rock

Blue *clap* velvet *clap* blazer. If THE ROCK can find a jacket (and by find, I obviously mean "have made") tailored to absolute perfection, then no man on this planet ever has an excuse for ill-fitting clothing again. Mmkay? Bye! 

Leslie Mann

People were hating hard on Leslie Mann for having a "Belle" moment, but...this is the Oscars?? This is the very place to have whatever "moment" you want. I think she looks fabulous and that this dress was made even more adorable when she was enthusiastically fan-girling over JT in the opening number.  

Viola Davis

BAM. That is all. 

Ava Duvernay

Not originally on my list, but the more I looked at this, the more I liked it. Lace is a huge trend that's been all over the runways at fashion week, and I really like this icy gray color. Not to mention it fits her perfectly. 

All right. Line up the poor souls who didn't quite nail it. 
 

LESS FETCH:

Brie Larson

This made lots of people's Best Dressed lists, but I just can't. This isn't the best photo, but the dress has a huge flounce in front that kind of takes over when she walks. It looks like she's being slowly eaten by her dress. And if that's the case, she's gonna spend her last night on earth with really bad hair. If she was going for old Hollywood waves, then she should've brightened up the color or made the style more dramatic. As it is, she looks like she just got out of the pool and let it air dry. 

Octavia Spencer

This one was another source of major debate in my head. I LOVE Octavia Spencer (duh, who doesn't?), but this dress is just too...avian. The top is fine, neckline is pretty, but then you get to the bottom and it's just FEATHERS!!!! Or, if I'm being less generous, I'd say it looks like a pattern of bacteria slowly streaking across a petri dish. Color is great and she loved it which made it work on the red carpet, but...nope. 

Ryan Gosling's Shirt

For your convenience, I have blacked out his head, since, as we all know, it's impossible to look at Ryan Gosling and say anything bad about him. Just focus on the shirt. I get it, retro, blah blah blah, but...nah. The rest of the tux fits like a dream, so it's really a shame. Also, he's clenching that fist pretty hard...maybe he hates it, too? 

Taraji P. Henson

Man I really didn't mean to be dragging the stars of one of the best movies of the year, but...gotta keep on. Taraji is violating the old rule of "either boobs or legs, but not both." The whole thing just reads as tacky to me, and she normally nails it on the style front. Lately, though, her choices have looked so cheap and underwhelming. Did you get a new stylist, girl? Tell us the truth! We'll help you! The velvet was on point but the rest of this is too try-hard, which Taraji P. Henson certainly does NOT need to do. She's fabulous already - but this overtakes even her best "face."

Keith Urban's Highlights

Once again, for your convenience, I've removed Keith Urban's extremely likable face from the equation. Look at Nicole, and then look at that haircut next to her. You guys. Come on. WHEN is he going to get rid of the 90's chunky highlights and the mom mullet? This looks like what Kate Gosselin would've done had she been a musician. KEITH CAN YA HEAR ME? Time to move it along. "You'll Think Of Me" has taken on new meaning. I'll think of you, all right. Think of you haunting my nightmares with a head from 1994.

Naomie Harris

Yet another MAJOR internal struggle for me, so I'll just tell you what I loved and hated about it. I loved the color, the material (sequins), the head styling, and the jewelry. Didn't love the shoes or the fact that the bralette being separate from the skirt really skews her proportions in an unflattering way. It almost looks like the top is too small, even though it isn't - it's just tricks of the eye because the bottom half is so heavy relative to the top. This looks like a pageant dress to me, not an Oscar gown. 

Alicia Vikander's Spray Tan (and dress) 

What, what, what are you doing. First of all, the dress is bad. I am opposed, 100% of the time, to a pickup skirt or a tiered skirt. I HATE them. I think it's such a lazy design element and it looks really dated. That being said, WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS SHE SO ORANGE. And if you don't think she looks that bad...

Exactly. 

Charlize Theron

I may be in the minority here, but I hated this. Earrings were amazing, but the dress gave her a pin head. 

Kelly Ripa

...giant butterflies have landed on her dress. Need we carry on? 

Now for a little extra fun! 

Who wore it best? 

Michelle Williams v. Emma Roberts:

TBH I'm not wild about either of these dresses. Emma Roberts' neckline is super wide and I don't love that, but the details on that gown just beat her competitor. I love the lace detailing in the bodice. Michelle Williams' gown just looks a bit frumpy to me, especially when she usually tailors and fits her gowns within an inch of their lives. Disappointing, especially for someone nominated in a major category. 

Ruth Negga v. Ginnifer Goodwin

I don't even think this is a contest. Ginnifer Goodwin's gown is too "prairie." Also yikes, showing up to an awards show in essentially a worse version of the dress a major category nominee is wearing. 

Special commentary:

Halle Berry

That dress is a mess. That hair is fabulous. But THE BITCH. DOESN'T. AGE. Halle, please lead us to the fountain of youth. 

Dakota Johnson

If she had done without that weird front seashell-shaped panel (try saying that three times fast), it would've been a 10. Well...and if she'd steamed it, it would've been a 10. 

Hailee Steinfeld

Everybody's freaking out over this and I just don't care. Is that mean? It's just like...translucent grandma bedsheets. 

Isabelle Huppert

Girl, I GUESS so. 

Meryl Streep

She didn't wear her granny glasses on the red carpet, so that's about all we can ask. It's Mother of the Bride in every way, but it's also #meryl. Who got a standing ovation in the first 10 minutes of the show for no real reason. Because YES. 

Fetch or Wretch: Grammys 2017.

The Grammys, similar to the VMA's, marks the time when famous musicians let their freak flags fly. Boobs, sideboobs, underboobs, bellybuttons, underwear - we get to see it all! 

In honor of that, there will be no Fetch or Wretch columns this morning (because almost everyone is Wretch - spoiler alert!). Instead, there will be drive-by commentary on almost everyone. 

Let's get to gettin': 

Adele: 

Looks great and was totally endearing last night. Her acceptance speech where she basically Kanye'd herself into thanking Beyonce was precious and probably kept her from getting dragged in the blogs this morning since everyone with ears knows Beyonce should've won Album of the Year. Anyway, Adele, you nailed it. Would've liked a bolder lip, but that's it. 

J Lo

Giving us Angelina Jolie leg and looking like she put an Easter dress through a life-size shredder. J Lo, you're better than this dress. WAY better. But as always, you're also giving us #face. 

Katy Perry

Caterpillar! Half-worm! Cousin It! Snake while molting! Partially digested pipe cleaner! 

In other words, what the hell, Katy Perry?? 

Rihanna

She looks like the official spokesperson of Halloween. She's also one lift of her arms away from exposing both her bare breasts, as that top has no underwire and is just laying on her body. Riri, I love you girl, and I'm all for your bold choices, but this is a mess. Send that top back to an NFL cheerleader where it belongs. 

Lady Gaga

And speaking of underboob, WOW. She's really carrying that whole "shoulderpads only" thing from the Superbowl into her schtick. And if anyone gets too close, she can just shoot them with one of the poison darts on her forearms. 

Solange

Well this is pretty fabulous. Giving me "under the sea" vibes. Next. 

Demi Lovato

Somebody please wake me up with the naked dress trend is over. I feel like my eyeballs are rotting. It's been three years of this stuff. I mean, your bod looks great, but I'm distracted by the dark spot in your crotch where your bodysuit ends. And I don't think "I'm distracted by the dark spot in your crotch," was the reaction you were hoping for. 

Cee Lo Green

Taraji P. Henson

I think we should just all agree to pretend this never happened. Taraji honestly doesn't even look like she knows where she is. We know you are much too fabulous for this cheap looking, too-tight thing, girl. We'll keep walking and we'll never speak of this again.

Chrissy Teigen 

Like I said, wake me up when this is over. 

Andra Day

I have no idea who Andra Day is, but this is some serious old lady styling. Starting with the random flowers in her hair, I'm getting Phaedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta at her baby shower (anyone? anyone??), followed by a sherbet colored dress that makes me want some ice cream, and then some slippers everyone's grandmother has. Her head screams Priscilla Presley but her feet scream, "Murder She Wrote!" 

Lea Michele

Shhhhhhhhhhhh. Everybody lower your voices. Don't look directly at her. This is a Lea Michele, and it's really a treat that we get to see one today. They're very rare. Normally, Lea Micheles wear lots and lots of makeup and have sex hair, but it seems today we've found one that is going for a natural look. Without her makeup, she's very vulnerable and frightened, so no sudden movement. You can take pictures, but make sure there isn't a flash. She also seems to be unaware that her dress is see-through and her black underwear is pretty prominent. Good, everyone. Now, walk away slowly...

Charli XCX

🎶 You’ll love David’s Bridal! 🎶

Halsey

...P!nk? Is that you? 

Erika Jayne

QUEEEEEEEEN. I love her so so so so so much. I'm not even mad that she's yet another person wearing a Balmain dress with a topknot. I don't care. LOVE YOU GIRL CAN'T WAIT 'TIL THE RECORD DROPS!! 

Kristen Cavallari's Sternum

That's all. 

Giuliana Rancic

Can't decide if she wants to be a saloon girl or Kim Kardashian. And neither is working. 

Enya

That's right, ENYA's ass is still around. Why did I think she'd be a lot younger than this? Mother of the bride. Who also wore white and now the bride hates her. Sail away, Enya. 

Joy Villa

Let's hope whoever this is is making an ironic political statement? This is hideous. 

And to close with some truly crazy:

Girl Crush

No idea who this is but I appreciate the fact that she WENT FOR IT. Even her bag has gumballs on it. Get it, weirdo. You are the reason this is fun. 

Also, 

Bow. 

Down. 

Bitches. 

5 Things: Valentine's Gifts from the Heart

I don't know about you, but Valentine's Day is a little like New Year's Eve to me - lots and lots of expectation for a reason no one really knows. I love the opportunity to tell people i love them, but I loathe the cheesy card/teddy bear/dozen roses cliché. It's just not my style. 

Jordan's and my Valentine's tradition is to write each other a letter, then spend the evening gorging on pizza, champagne, and playing board games. It sounds a little trashy, but it gives us the opportunity to enjoy spending the day with each other without getting wound up in the gift-getting part of things. (It's also because both our birthdays are in January, so the idea of doing a gift per month for three months in a row is a little excessive. Ha!) 

So, in that vein, here are some ideas for the sweetheart in your life that won't break the bank and didn't come from the Hallmark section of the grocery  store: 

1. 52 reasons. 

This idea actually comes from something I saw my brother's girlfriend do for him a few years ago. It's THE CUTEST and so thoughtful! You write a reason on the back of each of 52 playing cards, then bind them together by hole-punching each card as you go. Your Valentine is left with a handmade booklet personalized by you. It's so sweet. 

2. Cook a meal. 

My mom's kitchen as she cooked our New Year's meal three years ago.

I mean, this one's a no-brainer, right?? Cooking for anyone is so romantic and such a labor of love - especially cooking something you don't particularly enjoy eating yourself. The other night, I made Jordan a bone-in ribeye because he is a steak person occasionally and I am a steak person absolutely NEVER. I think he appreciated that meal more than most I've cooked because he knew that I'd gone so far out of my way to do something he enjoyed. If cooking isn't in your comfort zone, branch out and give it a shot - more than ever, there are easy, healthy recipes all over the Internet. 

3. Plan an experience together. 

One of my favorite "experiences" with Jordan - wine tasting! 

Of course, this experience could be expensive (you could choose a concert or a trip), but it could also be something as simple as planning an entire day of activities for you and your sweetheart. Maybe you wake up, eat a diner breakfast, pack a lunch, go on a hike, have a picnic, sneak a glass of wine, come home, play a board game, and watch movies by the fire. IDEAL. The point is, you've put thought into what the recipient would enjoy doing and taken the "Well, what should we do now?" out of the equation. After all, you remember the memories you make, not what the other person spends.

4. Write a letter. 

Confession: I am a letter hoarder. If you've EVER written me a letter (or even a note in middle school, I'm sorry to admit), I probably still have it in a box in my basement. Jordan regularly threatens to put them all in a yard sale because they take up so much space, but I can't part with them! Something about the placement of pen on paper is so romantic to me, even if it's not a love letter. Writing a letter to your Valentine, whether it's platonic or filled with gooey sentiments, is a timeless gift. The act of sitting down and creating mental space in order to put your thoughts on a page is so thoughtful and special, this one is a knockout gift every time. 

5. Sweeten the deal. 

Photo c/o my fabulous friend Caroline, the pastry chef who made these. 

Okay, I know I already listed "cook a meal" as one of them, but come on. We have to talk about dessert. Hand-rolled truffles are some of the most fun (and messiest) things to attempt, especially with a friend or partner. It's worth a shot. In the end, even if your truffles look like they were made by a hyena, they'll still taste great and you'll both be covered in chocolate. If that's not a win, I don't know what is. 

However you celebrate, I hope you jam-pack your Valentine's Day with extra gratefulness for the loves in your life, whether they're romantic loves, Galentines, buddies, or sweet members of your family. You're certainly one of mine, reader! 

XO.